lit_gal | Kin of the Soul

Kin of the Soul
Slash: Angel/Xander, Angel/Spike
Rated: ADULT
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Does anyone feel like a second chapter this weekend?? Xander noticed something funky during a long, hot night of sex, and y'all know Xander. He does tend to poke the mysteries.

Go read chapter 57 if you haven't already.

( Part One ) ( Part Two ) ( Part Three ) ( Part Four ) ( Part Five ) ( Part Six ) ( Part Seven ) ( Part Eight ) ( Part Nine ) ( Part Ten ) ( Part Eleven ) ( Part Twelve ) ( Part Thirteen ) ( Part Fourteen ) (Part Fifteen ) ( Part Sixteen ) ( Part Seventeen ) ( Part Eighteen ) ( Part Nineteen ) ( Part Twenty) ( Part Twenty-One ) ( Part Twenty-Two ) ( Part Twenty-Three ) ( Part Twenty-Four ) ( Part Twenty-Five ) ( Part Twenty-six ) ( Part Twenty-Seven ) ( Part Twenty-eight ) ( Part Twenty-nine )( Part thirty ) ( Part Thirty-one ) ( Part Thirty-Two ) ( Part Thirty-Three ) ( Part Thirty four ) ( Part Thirty-five ) ( Part Thirty-Six ) ( Part Thirty-Seven ) ( Part Thirty-Eight ) ( Part Thirty-nine ) ( Part Forty ) ( Part Forty-one ) ( Part Forty-two ) ( Part Forty-three ) ( Part Forty-four ) ( Part Forty-five ) ( Part Forty-six ) ( Part Forty-Seven ) ( Part Forty-Eight ) ( Part 49 ) ( Part 50 ) ( Part 51 ) ( Part 52 ) ( Part 53 ) ( Part 54 ) ( Part 55 ) ( Part 56 ) ( Part 57 )

Chapter 58

Xander came out of the bathroom followed by a cloud of steam. The hot water heater worked, but Xander smelled like rust, so he was guessing the pipes weren’t exactly in tip-top shape. That seemed right, somehow. Xander wasn’t feeling particularly tip-top shapish himself. Sex with Angel should count as aerobic activity, and his aches were aching. When Xander was a few steps into the room, an arm caught him from behind, wrapping around his waist and pulling him close. Xander leaned back into Angel’s arms. Making a little humming noise, Angel placed a kiss on Xander’s neck, right over last night’s bite.

“Good morning,” Xander said.

“Very good,” Angel agreed. His hands slipped under the waistband of Xander’s jeans, and Xander figured they were going to end up having more very athletic sex if he didn’t get them focusing on business. Actually, he should have taken his shirt into the bathroom with his jeans because even half-dressed was way too undressed unless it led to imminent sexage. When Xander leaned back, he could feel the hard lump in Angel’s jeans, too. The world had a funny sense of humor with Spike trying to focus on saving the world and Angel off looking for sex.

“So, are you feeling more sane?” Xander asked as he tried to pull away. For a moment, Angel held him, but then his arm loosened and Xander slipped out of Angel’s grip.

Angel tilted his head as though trying to figure out the words.

Xander sighed. Great. Last night, he definitely seemed on the road to sanity, but now that they were trying to figure out how to stop a hell-god, Angel had done some backsliding. “Okay, I’m taking that as a no. Just stop saying that you don’t remember Dawn, okay?” Xander asked.

“The demon remembers her,” Angel immediately answered.

“And again with the being weird.” For one brief moment, Xander wallowed in some self-pity about having to explain this again. However, if he couldn’t pound it into Angel’s head, no one could. “Angel, Dawn loves you. I was all screwy in the head because my parents tried to sell me, only with less trying than actually doing it.” Xander made a face. “But if they had forgotten me, there wouldn’t have been enough therapy in the world to handle that. And here you are, the vamp she crushed on for years, saying that you can’t remember her. You can see where that would do mucho with the damage, yes?”

Angel frowned.

With a sigh, Xander grabbed his shirt and pulled it on. “Seriously, Angel, if you don’t want to send her running to therapy, you need to stop talking like that.”

“I don't….” Angel stopped and his frown deepened. “Reality is different.”

“Compared to heaven, I'm guessing, yes, it is. Actually, if reality isn't different from heaven, I'm kind of saying that heaven sucks.”

“No. This reality is different.” Angel sounded frustrated, and Xander studied him for a second.

“We just agreed on that,” Xander reassured him. Angel might've come back from heaven with some serious sex skills, and Xander wasn't sure he wanted to spend a lot of time thinking about how that happened, but sanity was a little harder to come by. Xander sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed his socks.

Angel stepped closer, and when Xander tossed a shirt at him, Angel put it on and started buttoning it up while continuing the conversation. “When I left—”

“Do you mean when Jenny ripped your soul out?” Xander was still feeling a little sensitive on that subject. If life were fair, Glory would be attached to Jenny. Then they could kill Jenny and feel extra special good about it. Well, he might not feel good exactly, but he would feel totally and completely justified.

Angel seemed to take a long time to think about Xander's words, and Xander started tying his shoes. “When Jenny pushed my soul out,” Angel restarted, “Dawn did not exist. Joyce had only one child, and when Buffy's father did not return after the first summer—”

“Buffy and Dawn were both hurt,” Xander said fiercely. If Angel went and ignored Dawn’s pain over their idiot sperm-donor and his abandonment, more than one person would kill Angel. Actually, Xander still wasn’t completely convinced that Spike hadn’t tracked down Hank Summers and cut him into little pieces for some scavengers to eat. Spike sure as hell wouldn’t touch the asshole’s blood, that’s for sure.

Despite Xander’s warning, Angel kept going. “No, Dawn was not. Buffy smelled of pain, but Dawn was not there. Buffy had no one to talk to.” Angel's head cocked to the side. “But the demon remembers Dawn's pain, too.” Angel finished buttoning up his shirt and his hands drops to his side as he just stared at Xander as if Xander could make any sense out of all of this. Clearly Angel had forgotten that Xander was not the big thinker in the group. Xander was the fixer. Xander was the person who could get a toilet working. Xander was even the person who occasionally told vampires that it was wrong to commit murder. Xander was not the thinker.

“Seriously? This whole thing with Dawn is starting to creep me out.”

“Reality confuses me,” Angel said, and Xander snorted. He was pretty sure Angel needed a bigger word than confuse. “But I know that my soul has never seen Dawn before.”

Xander took a deep breath and thought about that before he grabbed Angel's socks and boots off the ground and thrust them at Angel. “No offense Angel, but your demon and your soul seemed to be acting a little different since you got back. Like maybe your demon not quite as…” Xander let his words trail off as he tried to find a way to explain it. Angel definitely had more bits of Angelus showing through the cracks.

“The soul is not forced upon him,” Angel blurted out as if that was no big deal.

Xander had just finished with his last shoe, and he found himself frozen in place. Slowly he gazed up at Angel, fear clawing at his heart. “It's… What?”

“The curse pushed the demon on top of the soul.”

As answers went, that didn’t answer anything. “Okay….” Xander let his voice trail off as he waited for some sort of explanation. Right now he just had a whole lot of confusion going on. Unfortunately, Angel just looked right back at him as if what he had said was no more surprising then the sky was blue. Actually, since most of the time they were out at night, the unsurprising thing would be the sky is black, but Xander was pretty sure that the soul not being on top was a big deal. “Angel, can you explain in very small words,” Xander held up his forefinger and thumb to show exactly how small the words needed to be, “what you mean by that?”

Angel sat on the bed next to Xander and started pulling on his socks and boots. For a time there was silence in the room, and Xander could feel himself start to break into a nervous sweat. Xander was on the verge of starting a world-class of babble when Angel finished pulling on his boots and turned toward him. “The demon and the soul share the body. The demon cannot act without the soul allowing it, but the soul….” Angel’s head did another tilt. Xander was really starting to hate that particular gesture.

“Are you telling me that the soul lost veto power? Or maybe that the demon gained veto power?” The cold, nervous sweat was getting colder and nervouser. “Okay, seriously, smaller words Angel.”

For a second, Angel kept on with the confused silence. Eventually, though, he seemed to almost gather up his words like he had to plan them. “The demon would wish to turn Dawn. She was ours, and we lost her. The demon does not like to lose what is his.”

Okay, Xander could've guessed that one already. Angelus was one seriously possessive, jealous bastard.

“I would flee from Dawn. She is not part of reality. Buffy has no sister, and if I cannot understand her, I cannot defend you or my clan from her.” Angel frowned. “I am blocked from doing either.”

Xander let out a slow breath as it finally occurred to him what Angel was saying. “So unless the soul and the demon are both on board, the train isn't leaving the station?” Xander guessed.

Angel looked confused again. Angel often looked confused. Then again, if Xander had to share his body with the demon that got equal veto powers over what his body did, that would make him a little crazy too. Guilt, the familiar old friend, came creeping in and found a warm spot in Xander's soul to curl up for a nap.

“The demon rages less.”

“What?”

Angel reached over and put his hands on Xander's knee, his fingers curling around the curve of it. Angel had such strength in his hands, but his touch was still gentle. “The demon wants power. It has more power than it did for a hundred years under the curse.”

“But….” Xander swallowed. If this was Angelus as much as Angel, then Angelus should want to get rid of the soul. He should want to go out and kill nuns. He should want to go bathe in the blood of innocents. Only, when Angelus was out, there wasn't all that much bloodshed. The demon community did way more bleeding than the innocents. Mostly Angelus seem to want what Angel had. But he never got it. Spike and Cordelia came back only after Anyanka put the soul back in. Angelus had done great things for the hotel’s library and budget, but he hadn’t been all that good with the clan. “Does the demon want to do things the soul is vetoing?” Xander asked, his voice soft and careful. Xander thought he’d escaped having to walk that tightrope with Angelus’ ego, but maybe he wasn’t as done as he thought.

Angel tilted his head and seemed to think for a long time.

“Wait.” Xander leaped up. “You aren't thinking; you're debating what both of you are willing to say. You have to agree before you can say anything. Oh my God, that's Anyanka’s curse.” Xander had to admit, that was a good curse. The gypsies needed to take some lessons.

Angel nodded slowly. That brief moment of elation at having figured out the puzzle slowly drained from Xander as he realized just what this meant for both Angel and Angelus. They were forever locked together as equals.

“Oh Angel. Angelus. Both of you,” Xander sank down on the bed next to Angel. He had to think of this as Angel because otherwise, life would be too weird, but the idea that it was an Angel who was on a leash as short as Angelus’… that they could control each other… it was high on the freaky-meter.

“We don’t need pity,” Angel said, and for one second, the voice and the expression and the set of his shoulders was pure Angelus. Then that second passed, and the body language softened into something that looked more like Angel. “The bitch could not keep us from our clan, from you. She has done nothing that prevents us from having power or protecting our family.”

“And you can call her a bitch only because both Angelus and Angel agree that she is one, huh?” Xander guessed.

Angel nodded. “Powerful, but a bitch. Maybe your mother can avoid making any more wishes.”

“I’m all over that,” Xander quickly agreed.

“It could be worse.” Angel’s hand came up to cup Xander’s cheek. “I could have lost you to some fictional world. From 1753 until the curse came along a hundred and fifty years later, the demon had control. For a hundred years after that, the soul had control. If we must adapt to a new reality, that is more acceptable than having Anyanka steal you away.”

“Angelus talks more than Angel,” Xander said as the realization struck him. This sounded like Angelus.

“We both agree with the words or we would not speak them,” Angel said. So Angelus might talk more, but he didn't get to say things if Angel vetoed him. This was… this was really freaky. This was also why wish demons were called demons and not something fluffier and happier like wish fairies or wish granters who made everyone’s dreams come true.

“You need therapy more than I ever did,” Xander pointed out. There was a perfectly blank expression on Angel’s face for several long seconds, but now Xander was guessing that was less about Angel being confused than it was about Angel and Angelus having very different reactions to the thought of therapy. Unless they could agree on something to say, the body just got stuck. Yeah, this was going to be interesting. “Maybe you can just avoid the internal debates during any fighting,” Xander suggested. “I really don't want you dusted because the two of you couldn't agree on which weapon to grab.”

“That will not happen,” Angel said fiercely, a bit of growl in his voice.

“I’m glad,” Xander said as he stood up and headed for the door. “You still need therapy.” Before Angel or Angelus or Angel/Angelus could answer, Xander headed out the door and down the stairs. “Hey guys, new problem. Or maybe not a problem as much as new information. Or new situation. This might be situation-like.” Xander saw Wesley stick his head out of the dining room arch, and Spike came out from one of the back rooms, a worried look on his face. Yep, if Xander and Angel and Angelus were in a mess, at least they had family to keep them company in the mud pit of life.