Wow oh wow oh wow. Seriously twists a person up inside like a used dish rag until there's just a bunch of hurt left.
I'm terrified for what Spike is going to be like once he gets back to the house, and he sees Xander there. Xander who Buffy trusts/trusted enough to share her soul and emotions with. Who he knows Buffy loves - not like a lover, but its still a love he now knows she'll never give to him. And Xander trusts Spike, even if he doesn't want to admit it. Will Spike want to stay away, keep his mistake and his shame hidden? Will he go after the soul or will he try to be more of a demon? Will he be willing to sacrifice his family for a fantasy that might never come true?
I'm terrified of what Buffy is going to do now that she knows that Xander has killed a man, a mortal human man. I'm not sure she has a leg to stand on considering that Giles did as much for her when he killed Glory's host AFTER the battle was over and Glory had retreated into Ben. But that hasn't stopped her from getting self-righteous in the past, so... Then again, all she'll have to do is talk to Willow and Willow may just try to lay the whammy on him, which in turn might get Tara involved in a magic war between a lone kitchen witch and whatever coven Willow's gotten herself involved with.
I'm terrified of what Xander's going to do and/or say when he finds out that Spike tried to rape Buffy, something he already SHOT a man for. Granted, Warren threatened to rape Willow and Dawn as well, but those were just threats. Spike actually got physical with Buffy. And yes, that's part of Buffy's training of Spike, where she would tell him NO and then push him down and ride him like her life depended on it. But I'm not so sure Xander's going to see that at first.
At the same time, I love, love, love knowing that Spike desires to be dominated. I think that's sexy as hell. At the same time, all I really want right now is for Spike to -ask- for Xander's affection. In fact, I think I'm going to go to my happy place and imagine Xander holding and hugging Spike after he's fucked Spike stupid.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-07-17 05:01 am (UTC)I'm terrified for what Spike is going to be like once he gets back to the house, and he sees Xander there. Xander who Buffy trusts/trusted enough to share her soul and emotions with. Who he knows Buffy loves - not like a lover, but its still a love he now knows she'll never give to him. And Xander trusts Spike, even if he doesn't want to admit it. Will Spike want to stay away, keep his mistake and his shame hidden? Will he go after the soul or will he try to be more of a demon? Will he be willing to sacrifice his family for a fantasy that might never come true?
I'm terrified of what Buffy is going to do now that she knows that Xander has killed a man, a mortal human man. I'm not sure she has a leg to stand on considering that Giles did as much for her when he killed Glory's host AFTER the battle was over and Glory had retreated into Ben. But that hasn't stopped her from getting self-righteous in the past, so... Then again, all she'll have to do is talk to Willow and Willow may just try to lay the whammy on him, which in turn might get Tara involved in a magic war between a lone kitchen witch and whatever coven Willow's gotten herself involved with.
I'm terrified of what Xander's going to do and/or say when he finds out that Spike tried to rape Buffy, something he already SHOT a man for. Granted, Warren threatened to rape Willow and Dawn as well, but those were just threats. Spike actually got physical with Buffy. And yes, that's part of Buffy's training of Spike, where she would tell him NO and then push him down and ride him like her life depended on it. But I'm not so sure Xander's going to see that at first.
At the same time, I love, love, love knowing that Spike desires to be dominated. I think that's sexy as hell. At the same time, all I really want right now is for Spike to -ask- for Xander's affection. In fact, I think I'm going to go to my happy place and imagine Xander holding and hugging Spike
after he's fucked Spike stupid.