Kin of the Soul

[lit_gal]

Once upon a time there was Kin of the Heart where Angel and Xander learned to be friends.  Now we're working towards something entirely different.

Kin of the Soul
Slash: Angel/Xander, Angel/Spike
Rated: ADULT

Angel is watching his boys, and watching the distance grow between his clan and Buffy

( Part One ) ( Part Two )


Hear that?" Spike bounced on his toes and then froze before he looked over his shoulder and grinned at them. Sunnydale was quiet tonight, but it had been since the mayor had fallen, so Angel had a pretty good guess what was creeping through the distant bushes. "Up for muckin' about with the soldier boys?" Spike asked them.

Angel shook his head. Spike never was going to grow up, but Angel couldn't come up with any good reason for stopping Spike. Sometimes he wondered what he would have done with this version of William back before the curse. Back then, he'd been so focused on trying to impress Darla and convince the rest of the world that he wasn't some drunken loser that he had been remarkably bad at having fun. Even though Spike had toned down his violence to match the needs of his new clan with their inconvenient souls, Spike just delighted in fun. He delighted in fun as much as he'd once delighted in Drusilla, in watching her face when he brought her some trinket that temporarily lured her back from the edge of madness.

"You know, one of these days, one of them is going to catch you with a tazer," Xander warned.

"Oi, don't you have faith in me, pet?" Spike put on his best wounded expression.

"So much faith that I actually listen to you when you tell me that even the best prepared fighter has an accident sometimes."

"Yeah, but I meant you, not me, luv," Spike pointed out. He pulled a large insulated flask out of his jacket and downed the contents.

"Do I even want to know what that was?" Xander asked with a disgusted expression. Spike wiped his mouth and grinned. "No, no, don't tell me," Xander said, holding up a hand to stop Spike from describing whatever disgusting thing he was about to describe.

"Ice water," Angel told Xander. "And once he's dropped his body temperature too low for the sensors to register him, he's going to remind Finn that a hunter can't rely on his technology."

"Exactly," Spike agreed. "It's all about helping the sod, innit?"

"Or getting your jollies by trouncing them and then playing with them like a sadistic cat, only hopefully with less actual eating of the metaphor mice," Xander sighed.

"Same thing, pet. Last chance ta help me."

"Oh, I think I'll skip the soldier torture tonight," Xander said. Spike traded a concerned look with Angel before he shrugged and went darting off. Normally, Xander was more than happy to help play bait and beat up a couple of soldiers. Angel was starting to worry that Xander enjoyed it a little too much, but for last day or so, he'd been sticking close to Angel whenever he wasn't in class. He'd even fallen asleep on Angel's couch, and it wasn't difficult to figure out why.

"Any word from Lorne?" Xander asked. He walked so close that their arms brushed as they headed down the path.

"He has a lead on some books with references to Anyanka. Spike's going up to LA to get them tomorrow."

Xander nodded. "I called Blair."

"Does he know anything?" Angel hadn't thought to call Blair, maybe because he tended to think of the D'fatum demon as the expert on humans, not on demons. But he had at least as many connections to the demonic community as Lorne. Maybe more. Blair's uncle had been around for centuries.

"Blair says that vengeance demons aren't actually evil, more like issuey."

Angel frowned. "She shrivels men's genitals and gives them terrible diseases."

"Which they bring on by doing something really bad. And as someone who has never been genital-shriveling bad, I want to officially say that the universe sucks for putting me in her path. I've never done anything to warrant more than genital... and I'm stopping now, because that's kinda creepy to even think about. But anyway, Blair says that vengeance demons are actually humans who turn to trying to fix the balance of things, only they turn all demonic to do it, which is probably not the kind of fixing of things Father Peter would approve of. Every vengeance demon focuses on answering the not-so-nice prayers of one type of person, like Anya and her unhappy, screwed-by-love women. I wonder what kind of issues she had that she decided to take up penis shriveling for a living?"

Angel thought about that for a second. "I don't want to know," he finally said.

"Oh yeah. I'm with you in the land of blissful ignorance. I mean, Willow-issues and Faith-issues, and even you-issues with the whole guilt complex are enough for me. I don't even want to think about Anyanka-issues. I think Spike is the only issueless among us."

Angel managed to not choke on his own incredulity. Spike had enough issues to fit in with the rest of them; he'd just learned how to hide them a little better. The path widened into a small clearing. A park bench was sitting at the edge of an island of light, and Angel put his hand on Xander's back, guiding him to it.

"And this is totally making my head do the screwy," Xander said quietly as he sank down on the seat. In the distance, Angel heard a human call cut off sharply, but at least it didn't sound like Spike was doing any permanent damage to Finn's group.

"Xander?" Angel sat next to him, his hand on Xander's knee, offering comfort silently. While Angel often didn't know how to say what he was thinking, he found that a simple touch often allowed Xander to understand what Angel couldn't say.

"I was at class, and I kept looking at Brenda Bakersfield, wondering if maybe I could ask her out without making myself look like an idiot."

Angel cocked his head. "Isn't that normal?" he asked. While he'd been born before the custom of dating had really developed, from the television he'd seen, fear seemed normal.

"Yes, but then I started wondering if me liking her meant that she was more likely to be a demon because there's a long history of me and demons."

"There was Cordelia."

"Which is not big with the proving anything," Xander said with a shrug. "She scared that one vampire guy into not touching her during Slayerfest, and the fact that those demons couldn't tell Cordy from another slayer, so not saying much about her humanity. And then there's mummy-girl and preying mantis lady and Amy and Faith and Kendra." Xander swallowed, and Angel could feel the slight tremor in Xander's leg as that old memory washed through him. "You are seeing the pattern here, right?"

Angel didn't answer, but Xander did attract a fair number of demons and witches. Then again, unlike most males, he didn't immediately fight for the dominant position in a relationship. He didn't sprawl out, claiming as much territory as he could on the bench. He didn't jump into the middle of every conversation and dominate it. For demons, who often tended to be a little touchy on the topic, Xander would be one of the rare humans who did allow them to keep their own power. And for women like Faith and Amy who had been so badly hurt in the past, he was someone they could trust to not hurt them again. He was a good choice in a mate.

Angel ignored the way his chest tightened, hatred curling up in the center of it for whomever Xander chose.

"And then there is the whole issue of clan which is way more issuey with Spike around. I mean, I really felt bad for Graham because you know he did not deserve the whole smack down."

"He slept with Faith," Angel said, trying his best not to answer Xander's implied question. As far as Angel was concerned, Graham did deserve the injuries he'd received. Faith was stronger now, more centered after spending so many months with Blair, but she wasn't healed. He could see her pain in the way she diverted every question about her past with sexuality, in the way she looked to Angel or to Blair for approval. Xander never did that. Sometimes Xander seemed to go out of his way to try and annoy Angel, and Angel knew for a fact that Spike tried to annoy him. Faith's continued need for the protection of a patriarch suggested that her healing had only begun. So, if Graham was too idiotic to recognize that he was sleeping with an emotionally injured girl, he deserved every bruise and broken bone Spike gave him. That way, he wouldn't make the same mistake next time Faith visited.

"From experience, I'm guessing that she was sleeping with him way more than he was sleeping with her--not that there was any sleeping going on. Screaming and... I'm going to stop now," Xander interrupted himself, and Angel smirked as he could smell the gathering desire from Xander. "Stop sniffing me. That is so very high on the creep-meter," Xander said as he punched Angel's arm.

Angel captured Xander's wrist in his hand and held it. "I'm breathing."

Xander tried to jerk his hand away. "You don't breathe."

"Habit." Angel smiled at Xander, still holding his arm. Xander rolled his eyes and then yielded, allowing Angel to have control over Xander's hand. Angel held it for several seconds before giving it back.

"Issuey," Xander said softly. "And how long is Spike planning to take? We're supposed to be meeting with Giles."

Angel turned his attention to the distant sounds of scuffling. "It sounds like one of the unit is giving him a run for his money," Angel said as he heard the faint trails of two people still moving.

"Probably Riley. Riley's not bad."

"For a human," Angel agreed. He waited for that twinge of jealousy that Riley had finally taken the place he'd once wanted so badly. It didn't come. The soldier had no idea how strongly he smelled of Buffy, and for a second Angel wondered if Buffy's scent marking of her partner was intentional.

"There is nothing wrong with being human. Personally, I'm all in favor of humanity."

Angel didn't answer as he listened to the distant conflict. The better Riley got, the more Spike was going to feel a need to prove his superiority. The conflict might get out of hand. When two clans occupied the same territory, it wasn't unusual for the opposing enforcers to kill each other, and Angel couldn't expect Spike to ignore his instincts for too long. Xander was looking at him strangely, but Angel focused on the distant sounds and ensuring that Spike didn't accidentally break Riley.

"I should have brought my comic books or my text on retrofitting wiring in residentials." Xander leaned back against the bench and pushed his legs out in front of him. "Some of us can't hear well enough to enjoy the show, you know."

"Xander? Angel?" Angel had been concentrating so hard on Spike and Riley that he had not seen Buffy approach. Obviously Xander noticed his distraction because the boy was already smirking.

"Hey, Buff. We were going to come meet you at Giles', but we lost the third musketeer," Xander said cheerfully. "Pull up a bench." Xander scooted closer to Angel to make room for Buffy to sit next to them.

"No thanks. I'm actually just looking for Riley."

"Um..." Xander cleared his throat.

"Again?" Buffy demanded. "Angel, your brat is being exceptionally bratty."

"It is good training," Angel offered in way of an apology.

Buffy didn't look appeased. "After what happened with Graham..."

Xander interrupted her. "Hey! That was so not Spike's fault. I mean, he hears a woman screaming in the park in the middle of the night, and he reacted."

Buffy crossed her arms and shifted so that all her weight was on one leg. She looked like a school teacher about to scold Xander. She certainly didn't look like the child sitting in the sun and sucking on a lollipop as Whistler had once shown him. Looking back, he was embarrassed that he could have confused his desire for redemption with his desire for Buffy. The woman she was now, strong and confident and clearly annoyed... Angel could fall in love with her now if he allowed himself. He could have feelings for her without confusing his destiny and his love. However, their chance had passed. She deserved Riley who could grow old with her and stand by her side in the sun.

"So, Spike was being a good Samaritan?" Buffy demanded, not even pretended that she believed him.

Xander shrugged. "Hey, he is not a fan of raping. And he was probably hoping he'd found a rapist so he could have a good dinner, which I am not approving of, but in the grand scheme of life, antelope and rapists are on their own when it comes to predators."

Buffy frowned. This was one point on which the two would never agree, and Angel didn't want to see that conflict flare to life now.

"Spike was restrained considering the circumstances. A simple broken arm is nothing compared to what he could have done," Angel pointed out. Buffy frowned. She didn't like the logic, but she also didn't understand vampire culture well enough to know what had really happened. Angel wondered if Giles understood Spike's need to defend the clan now that Angel was leaving him to handle the duties normally performed by an enforcer. If he did, he had chosen not to explain it to the others.

"Whatever." Buffy dismissed the whole thing with a wave of her hand. "I so know that someone is not big with the truth-telling, but Graham seems weirdly okay with the breaking and manhandling, so I'm not going to comment. Then again, he slept with Faith, so manhandling is probably not a problem for him. And that weirdly implies gross things with Graham and Spike, doesn't it?" Buffy asked, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"It kinda does, Buff," Xander agreed with an equally disgusted expression. "There was some implied naughty in there somewhere."

"Ick." Buffy walked over and sat next to Xander. Angel noted that she sprawled more than Xander did. "And do I want to know what Spike is doing now, because the whole accidental implying of inappropriate is really doing not nice things to what I'm thinking."

"Okay, ew," Xander said softly.

"Seconding the ew," Buffy agreed. "I think my brain is all warped and broken. I walked in to see Giles the other day, and now all sorts of inappropriate things keep popping in when I really don't want them popping in. It makes me feel like a perv, but apparently my literature teacher is impressed with my ability to find a phallic symbol."

"You didn't..." Xander said slowly, his disgust not only clear in his voice but in his smell.

"Yes, Giles and Jenny, sitting in a tree, only it was Giles' kitchen table and that was not kissing. That was not even... and I am so not going there. I just didn't know that Giles' life came with a rating higher than mine. It seems wrong."

"He's an adult," Angel pointed out.

"And old," Buffy objected. "And I know I should be more mature about this, but I really just want to be squicked for a while.

"We can squick together," Xander offered. "Giles and sex is squick-worthy. I like to think that anyone over forty isn't doing that." Xander glanced over toward Angel. "Of course, I know I'm an idiot for thinking that, but sometimes I like to embrace my inner idiot."

"Embrace away."

"So," Xander asked after a long silence. "What's new with you guys?"

"Um, you know the roommate I said was a demon from hell?"

"Yeah?"

"She was," Buffy got a smug smile on her face. "I told them she was demonic, but they didn't believe me until she started sucking out my soul."

"She... what?" Xander nearly swallowed his tongue, and Angel sat up, his hand tight on Xander's leg. A soulless slayer was enough to cause his demon to rage and his instinct to urge him to pull Xander away.

"Yeah, but I kicked her ass and took my soul back. I wasn't the nicest person without a soul." Buffy shrugged. "I actually think Spike is nicer than me without the soul, so I will be voting no for any soul-sucking offers in the future."

Angel blinked, shocked that she would have faced such danger without calling for one of them.

"So, what's the sitch with you guys?" Buffy asked, and clearly she had recovered from the incident because she didn't even need to talk it through. Either that, or she had already done all her talking with Willow and Riley. Angel glanced at Xander, wondering if the boy missed being part of that inner group.

"I have a demon girl after me again," Xander offered.

"Again?" Buffy asked, and Xander tensed under Angel's hand, at least until he saw her expression.

"Very funny, Buff."

"There's a rule written somewhere. You get the demon girls, and I get the weird guys." Buffy was silent for a second. "At least, I used to. I'm really starting to think that me and Riley might actually have something."

"I hope so, Buff. You deserve something good. Besides, I was running out of loser jokes for your boyfriends." Xander just smiled when Buffy punched his arm.

"Oi, lookie what I found," Spike said cheerfully as he came into the clearing, pushing through the bushes and pulling Riley behind him. Angel could see that Riley had his hands tied, and Buffy was on her feet, stake out, almost immediately. Spike flashed into gameface, and Angel hurried to get up and between them.

"Spike," Angel warned as he hurried to take custody of Riley.

"Oi, bugger was hiding one of them tranq darts in his hands for after I caught him. If he isn't going to play fair, I'm not either."

"You never play fair," Xander said, while Angel took Riley's arm and pulled him away from Spike, Xander went to Spike's side.

"Yes, but I nearly got you, this time. I will take you down sooner or later," Riley said with confidence, and Angel was surprised to see that he wasn't all that upset about getting tied up. "You need to go cut the other guys loose," Riley suggested while Angel examined the ropes. Spike had been a little too enthusiastic, and it was going to be hard to get the ropes off without cutting them. Angel gave Spike a dirty look as he pulled his knife out. Spike just smirked. The smirk vanished when Angel didn't soften his expression.

"I'll go get 'em," Spike offered, and then he off into the woods again. Angel sighed. They were just lucky that Riley was good-natured about losing or this game really could get badly out of hand. One wrong move, and Spike was going to kill or rape the soldier; he was just too good as a fighter and his willingness to challenge Spike touched on too many instincts.

"Angel, are you going to let get him get away with this?" Buffy demanded.

"It's no worse than training," Riley said, waiting as Angel tried to cut the strands of rope without cutting Riley. "And the unit is improving."

"He tied you up!" Buffy objected, pointing at Riley's hands with her stake.

"So did my commander when I was taking covert evasions class," Riley said, and Angel was once more surprised at just how calm the soldier was taking all this. "Besides, I've seen Spike manhandle Xander just as much, so you can't convince me that he has any nefarious motive.

Angel paused. That was a dangerous assumption. Spike manhandled Xander because they were clan, family, and that gave Spike certain privileges. However, Riley belonged to Buffy, and the motives weren't the same.

"Riley," Angel said softly, not sure how to explain this. "I don't--" He stopped.

"What the ever-articulate one is trying and failing to say," Xander interrupted, "is that Spike is all about who has the power, and this may be a game as long as he ends up with the power in the end, but it really might not be all that gamelike if you ever won."

Buffy took an aggressive step forward, her body radiating danger and anger, and Angel had to take a deep breath and fight back the urge to pull Xander away from her. "Define ungamelike. Like he might refuse to come over and eat popcorn and play Monopoly with the rest of us?"

Xander flinched and looked at Angel as though seeking permission. But Angel didn't understand Buffy or her reactions well enough to know how to calm her down, and he could only trust that Xander would make the right decision about how much to share. "Um... I beat him once, and he pretty much spent the next week sitting on me. And I only won because Angel sorta cheated to help me win. But Ri, if you beat him, he's going to do something to remind you that he's way with the stronger. And trust me, he's always going to be way with the stronger, and the faster, and the fighting dirtier. He has a century of really dirty fighting behind him."

Riley looked at Xander for long, silent seconds, and Angel went back to work trying to cut the bindings. "Understood," Riley finally acknowledged. "I'm still going to try and win, but if I do, I'll accept the consequences of that."

"Riley!" Buffy objected loudly. Angel knew she had her own instincts, and every time Spike and Riley got into a conflict, she probably felt the need to stake Spike just as much as Angel felt the need to protect Xander.

"Buffy, they're our strongest allies. My team isn't up to their standards. Most of the unit can't take Xander, much less a master vampire or a serious demon. And that's after years of military training and covert ops work. I need the freedom to use the tools I have available to make sure we're as prepared for any emergency as we can be."

Angel cut the last strand, and Riley brought his hands around to the front, rubbing the wrists as he just stared at Buffy, waiting for an answer. Buffy looked at him and then turned to stare at the woods where Spike had vanished.

Buffy's hands twisted around the stake, rubbing the wood. "Xander, could Spike hurt them?"

Xander didn't answer right away. "Um... maybe?" Xander finally admitted.

"That has always been a danger," Riley pointed out. "Just like we might get killed trying to take down a demon or someone could target us because they want to establish a base of operations on the Hellmouth. But Graham said that Spike wanted to kill him, and he chose to back off and allow Graham to call for help." Riley took a step toward Buffy, raising his hand for a second as though he was going to touch her shoulder, but then he put his hands behind him and stood straight. "The danger that Spike could kill one of us keeps us on our toes; it reminds us that this war isn't being fought by humans, and we have to meet an enemy that's faster, smarter, and more adaptable than anything we've experienced during training. Buffy, if you tell me to pull the men back, I will order them to disengage the moment they identify Spike during any conflict, but I don't believe that's the best use of our resources."

Buffy shoved her stake back in the waist of her pants. "I really preferred it when I wasn't all adultlike. Because now, when I say 'fine', I'm going to have to live with the guilt if Spike hurts someone, and Angel, if that happens, I plan to get irrational and childishly vengeful all over Spike."

"Buffy, just remember that he has taken three slayers," Angel pleaded. He couldn't bring himself to say more because he honestly didn't know who he would want to win such a fight. He hoped he never had to make that choice.

"As long as he remembers that I've taken hundreds of vamps," she answered, and Angel thought that was probably as close to a truce as they were going to come. "So, are we going to Giles'? Oh god, we are going to Giles' and now I have to face the table of Giles. I don't want to face the table." Buffy looked at Riley in distress, and Riley cleared his throat, probably to kill a laugh before he held out his arm and gathered Buffy up. "Protect me from the creepy images that keep playing on the inside of my eyes," she begged him, turning her face toward his chest.

"I'll stay between you and the table the whole time," Riley promised.

"Between me and Jenny, too, please," Buffy asked. "Jenny, tables, wooden spoons, and all butter are officially on the list of things from which you must protect me."

Riley smiled and patted her back. "Always," he promised.

Angel watched them, the power now shifting so that Riley acted as protector, his arms around Buffy. It was uncomfortable. Angel shifted away, not sure how to deal with the sudden and inexplicable return of his childlike Buffy who was clearly not the dominant adult.

"So, we're off to see Giles, and Buffy, you so do not have room to talk. Let me tell you, living near Faith and Spike, I have a whole laundry list of things that I can no longer look at." Xander slipped his arm around Angel's arm and started pulling him down the path. "Washing machines, those clips you use to put laundry out on a line, and since we have no line, I'm not even sure why we had those clips, but..." Xander shrugged. "And then there's rope and hairbrushes and caramel sauce, and carrots, and considering that carrots were one of the vegetables that Angel could get me to eat without complaining, that was a major loss. However, I will never eat a carrot again without brain scarring memories."

"You don't sound too scarred by it," Riley commented, his arm around Buffy's shoulders as they followed.

"Oh, you have no idea. I've just given up pretending to be shocked," Xander offered. Angel listened as Spike raced through the woods just north of them to wait near the street. He didn't want to come up from behind where Buffy would be between him and the rest of the clan. Angel sighed. This situation couldn't go on forever, that's for sure. Angel just wasn't sure what he should do. He didn't want to take Xander away, but more and more he was starting to think he couldn't keep Spike here.

"Captain," a voice called out from behind, and Riley paused, watching as his three soldiers came up behind them. Saunders, the only woman in the unit was there. Angel looked at her with an appraising eye. It was Saunders who had called. "Sir, reporting back. Did you get him?"

"No, I got my ass kicked and then tied up," Riley answered without any rancor.

"Next time, sir," Saunders suggested, then she fell back to take a rear position. She wasn't right for Xander. Her voice was so annoying that he could never find love with her. Angel pulled his arm free from Xander's hold and rested it on the small of Xander's back, urging him to walk faster. The sooner they found out whether or not Giles had information, the sooner Angel could get Xander back home.

Comments

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. It really has been difficult to realistically move Xander and Angel into this relationship, but I do like to think that this universe is possible given their respective personalities.