Kin of the Soul

[lit_gal]

Once upon a time there was Kin of the Heart where Angel and Xander learned to be friends. Now we're working towards something entirely different.

Kin of the Soul
Slash: Angel/Xander, Angel/Spike
Rated: ADULT
banner by objectivelypink


WAIT!  This is my second chapter within the hour, so get the order right!  Last chapter, a familiar face from canon showed up. However, this chapter I've had written for a while, which is why it's coming so fast on the heels of the other chapter.  Angelus' plans are starting to come together.


( Part One ) ( Part Two ) ( Part Three ) ( Part Four ) ( Part Five ) ( Part Six ) ( Part Seven ) ( Part Eight ) ( Part Nine ) ( Part Ten ) ( Part Eleven ) ( Part Twelve ) ( Part Thirteen ) ( Part Fourteen ) ( Part Fifteen ) ( Part Sixteen ) ( Part Seventeen ) ( Part Eighteen ) ( Part Nineteen ) ( Part Twenty ) ( Part Twenty-One ) ( Part Twenty-Two ) ( Part Twenty-Three ) ( Part Twenty-Four ) ( Part Twenty-Five ) ( Part Twenty-six ) ( Part Twenty-Seven ) ( Part Twenty-eight ) ( Part Twenty-nine ) ( Part thirty )  ( Part Thirty-one )  ( Part Thirty-Two ) ( Part Thirty-Three ) ( Part Thirty four )  ( Part Thirty-five ) ( Part Thirty-Six ) ( Part Thirty-Seven ) ( Part Thirty-Eight ) ( Part Thirty-nine ) ( Part Forty ) ( Part Forty-one ) ( Part Forty-two )




Xander sat up as a group of men, dirty and bloodied, walked into the lobby. Angelus was still muttering with one of the minions, but Xander was thinking that humans really shouldn't be coming into a vampire lair, not even one that had turned into the Grand Central Station of demons. Xander glanced up at Angelus, but he wasn't even twitching, and Xander so hoped he wasn't about to see a bloodbath. Angelus had either been freakily non-lethal or non-willing to kill in front of Xander, and honestly, Xander rather liked it that way. These guys were definitely going to ruin that trend, though.

The group had weapons slung over their shoulders, but none moved to draw one as they stepped into the lobby and stopped in front of the raised dias Angelus had set up for his throne. Xander gasped as he caught sight of a familiar face in the middle of the group. Angelus stopped and slowly turned to face the group. One word, and this was going to go so very, very badly. Xander got one leg under him and prepare to get the heck out of the way if a fight broke out.

"Master Angelus," the head of the armed group said, inclining his head in a deep half-bow. He gestured and the others in his group bowed even lower. All except the cuffed and bleeding man in the middle. "You had suggested you might be open to a trade, so Wolfram and Hart has sent a gift to open the negotiations." One of the soldiers dragged Graham to the front. His face was cut, and one sleeve of his shirt had been totally torn off, exposing a pretty nasty cut and what looked like rug burn, only the worst case Xander had ever seen. One of the soldiers brought a billy club down on the back of Graham's leg, and he fell forward to his knees. Other than a grunt, he didn't comment, but that must have hurt.

"If he's a gift, he's not a well cared for one," Angelus said, and he eyed Graham without showing any emotion. Xander held his breath, terrified of what Angelus might do, but even more terrified that Xander could say the wrong thing and make Angelus think that he had to kill Graham to keep Xander's loyalty or save face or something. Sometimes Angelus' demon logic was so demony that Xander couldn't even hope to follow it.

"He killed three of my men and put two more in the infirmary. He is as unbroken as we could get him." The leader of the group stepped forward so he was standing next to Graham, but Graham just stared forward at nothing in particular. Xander chewed his lip with worry. Where were Faith and Spike? No way would they just let someone take Graham. And why would Wolfram and Hart target Graham?

Angelus stood up and stepped down off the platform, stopping right in front of Graham. Graham didn't even twitch. "Remove the cuffs," Angelus ordered.

"Sir, I wouldn't suggest—" The commander stopped when Angelus reached over and snapped his neck without even looking. One of the soldiers near the back grabbed for his weapon, but the guy next to him caught his arm and kept him from doing it... which probably saved his life. Xander could see the demons shifting into offensive positions. These guys were about to be dinner.

"Do I have to ask again?" Angelus turned his gaze toward the soldier who had forced Graham to kneel.

"No, sir." He bent down and quickly uncuffed Graham, but Graham didn't even react—not that he could do much reacting with Angelus two inches away. "Compliments of Wolfram and Hart." The soldier backed away with another bow, and a hand gesture sent his troops edging awkwardly toward the door. They didn't even bother taking the dead commander who lay sprawled next to Graham.

"Toss this for the carrion eaters," Angelus said, kicking the body. It was Harmony who moved in to grab the body and pull it out of the way. Most minions tended to avoid Angelus right after he'd killed, but Harmony clearly wasn't bright enough to recognize his mood. Then again, she wasn't dead yet, either, and Xander had expected Harmony dust more than once. She got the body to the edge of the group of minions that always seemed to gather in the shadows and then a couple of them took it from her.

"Stand," Angelus ordered. Graham didn't even glance up. He simply stood and went to parade rest, his hands still behind his back. Xander held his breath and prayed that Angelus would take Graham's gesture as submission and that he didn't end up getting thrown out with the commander. Running a hand over Graham's chest, Angelus studied him. "Any broken bones?"

"No, sir."

"Internal injuries?"

Graham hesitated, and Angelus' hand paused, resting over Graham's hip. "Bruised kidneys, some pretty good bruising everywhere, but I've had worse."

"And yet you took out three of Wolfram and Hart's commando team. Maybe the time I spent training you wasn't a total waste." Angelus got a thoughtful expression on his face and then he turned and came back to his throne. Xander watched silently, wondering if Graham even understood what it meant that Angelus had just publicly claimed him... not claiming like for dinner but claimed as in told the whole court that he had trained Graham. "Did they take the slayer or that idiot childe of mine?"

"No, sir." Graham stared forward, but Xander figured he had to be putting off fear smell like mad because Angelus was breathing deeply, and he was pretty clearly enjoying whatever he was smelling.

"Since Faith has allowed her toy to wander, I'll have to make sure I take good care of it until she comes home," Angelus smiled, and Xander closed his eyes and leaned against Angelus' leg. Of course he would want Faith back. And sadly, Xander was guessing that part of Faith wanted to come back, so this would give her the perfect excuse. Xander was even guessing that Angelus cared about her in his own way. It's just that Angelus' way of caring about something was to own it and make sure he put it away where he wanted it, and Faith had spent way too many years getting treated like an object for that to be even a little bit healthy.

"Someone get Wesley." Angelus didn't even bother a particular someone, but a minion broke off and darted back to the library. Graham just continued to stand at parade rest, not reacting when a minion started edging forward.

"Is that lawyer of theirs even alive?" Angelus asked the room.

"Yes, master. He offered me all sorts of stuff to try and get me to let him go," Harmony said with a cheerfulness that made other minions edge away from her, like they might catch her enthusiasm the way a human caught the flu. "Like I would ever pick him over you." Harmony rolled her eyes at that thought. "He's such an idiot, but he's a really cute idiot."

Angelus ignored her and watched as Wesley hurried into the room. "Did you bring it?"

"Yes, master," Wesley agreed, hurrying up to offer Angelus a small box.

"Will it work?"

"I tested it myself, master. It's fully effective with humans, and effective to a lesser extent with demons, although many demons are actually able to detach limbs, up to and including...." Wesley cut himself off when Angelus waved a hand at him. Wesley gave Xander a worried look, but there wasn't anything Xander could do, and Graham seemed to be avoiding looking at either of them. Angelus opened the box and took out a silver cuff that looked like a plain, wide bracelet.

"Here," Angelus said, throwing it at Graham. "Choose which arm will be disabled and burning with agony if you try and leave the hotel." Angelus watched with a sort of thinly veiled amusement as Graham looked at the thing he'd caught for just a second before snapping it shut over his right wrist.

"Your fighting arm?" Angelus tisked. "Never leave yourself vulnerable, Graham. I obviously didn't teach you well enough."

For the first time, Graham's gaze focused, and he looked at Angelus. "It serves as the stronger reminder that I'm not leaving this hotel on my own." For a second, the two looked at each other, and then Angelus laughed.

"Any human a slayer chooses as her own would have to have some fire. At least you know your place." Angelus leaned forward. "You do know your place, do you not, boy?"

Xander froze, every instinct warning him that this was about to turn so very, very ugly. The minions shifted, a couple practically squirming with anticipation. Graham bent his head forward. "Yes, master, I know my place, and it's where you tell me to be." He stood, the cuff on his wrist and his head ducked for long seconds. Angelus stood up and moved silently forward, his hand coming up to brush the curve of Graham's neck, but Graham stood still.

"Xander, tend his wounds. I don't like to see my toys so misused. In fact, I may need to go misuse Wolfram and Hart's lawyer to make a point about that."

"Yes, master," Xander agreed, standing up and moving toward Graham. Angelus waited as Xander came close, reaching up to cup Xander's face with his palm, and Xander smiled. This could have gone so much worse, and with every day, Xander could see Angelus struggle to recreate the formula that Angel had used to claim his family, his respect. Xander waited as Angelus ran a possessive hand over his shoulder and chest, and then Angelus turned and headed for the stairs to the basement. Xander knew that Lindsey had come here to betray Xander, and he still had to feel a little sympathy for the guy. If this didn't teach him the perils of working for evil people, nothing would, but then Xander didn't have a lot of room to preach on that front.

"Wow. You really got the snot kicked out of you," Xander said as he really got an up close look at Graham. Graham smiled, but one side of his mouth was swollen so it turned out crooked.

"You should see the other guys."

"I really should get some healing ointment. You're rather seriously injured," Wesley said softly. "Where do you plan to take him to clean up?"

Xander knew exactly where Angelus would want Graham. "Where he should have been the whole time—his room," Xander said. Wesley got a strange look on his face, but then he nodded, and hurried away. Carefully slipping an arm around Graham's waist, Xander tried to help him since he had developed a big limp on his left side.

Without warning, Harmony came up behind them and just lifted Graham into her arms and headed for the stairs. "Oh, I hope Angelus finds those guys and eats them. They shouldn't have hurt you like this, and where was Faith? Isn't her job to stop bad guys from doing things like beating up her boyfriend? You know, Buffy was the same way when she was dating Devon. She would act all concerned about him, but then when he got in trouble, she was all slay this, busy that. Only back then, she didn't so much let on that she was the slayer, so she had all these really stupid excuses, like studying for history, and trust me, Buffy never studied for history. Based on her school scores, she so could have been a cheerleader." Harmony headed up the stair while giving her running commentary, and Xander could only trot along after her, hoping she didn't bruise any of Graham's bruises. "And Angelus said you might be coming, so I changed all your sheets, but if you get in bed with all that blood, you are going to need new sheets for the new sheets, so you should probably clean up first. If you're feeling up to it. If not, I'll just change the sheets again tomorrow." And with that, Harmony reached the room Graham normally shared with Faith and carefully put him down by the door.

"Are you okay from here?" she asked, finally stopping long enough to actually listen.

"I'm fine, Harmony, thank you." Graham braced himself on the doorknob and kept his left foot off the ground.

"I just don't like to see you hurt." Harmony looked around like she was saying something dirty in the middle of church or something, but then for a demon, maybe she was. "I like you guys," she finally admitted.

"I like you, too," Graham said. "I was worried about you—so were Cordelia and Faith."

"Not Spike?" Harmony actually sounded upset at that.

"Spike's a little busy being angry at pretty much everyone, and since I got myself captured, I think he's probably added me to the list," Graham said in a stage whisper. That seemed to cheer Harmony up, and she smiled.

"I'm glad to see you get captured. Angelus would get cranky if you were gone too long." And with that, she leaned in and gave Graham a quick kiss on the cheek before she turned and hurried back down the hall.

Graham watched her go and shook his head. "Some things don't change."

"It would take more than death to change Harmony," Xander agreed. "Is everyone really okay?" Moving closer, he got his hand around Graham's waist again, supporting his weight before he opened the door to the suite.

"Relatively okay."

"Is Spike really mad at me?"

Graham stopped hopping for a second, forcing Xander to stop with him. "Spike is absolutely furious with you. He wants to lock you in a cage and put a leash on you. He also understands why you did it."

"Why I didn't use the soul spell or why I came back to Angelus?"

"Both," Graham said with a half shrug before he turned his attention back toward the bathroom. "I don't think I can get my clothes off on my own."

"Hey, as long as you don't mind the gay guy helping you get naked, I'm okay with that." Xander cringed. "That came out wrong."

Graham laughed. "It's just good to hear that you seem to be in one piece mentally as well as physically."

Xander maneuvered them into the bathroom and set Graham down on the toilet. "Angelus wants what Angel had, which means he wants all of us in place without any additional bats in the belfry. He did the crazy thing with Drusilla, and I'm not sure it worked out all that well for him."

"Well, I guess that means I made the right choice."

"What? In getting your ass kicked?" Xander asked. He knelt down to unlace Graham's boots so he could get them off without hurting the ankle any more than it had been.

"Faith and I talked about whether she wanted to come back. I offered to take a transfer to Outer Mongolia so she could come back without giving Angelus leverage to hold her here."

"Really?"

"Well, Paraguay, actually, but yes. Faith is a slayer, and that means she brings a certain prestige to the court, and has a certain level of protection from that. As a human, I know I don't."

"But Angelus would have wanted you back, anyway," Xander said.

"Which is why I'm starting to think that staying was the right choice, even if this is one hell of a mess. Angelus sent those guys after me, and I suspect he would have sent them to Paraguay it that's what it took." Graham hissed as Xander worked the boot off the swollen ankle.

"That must have hurt to walk on."

"Getting forced to my knees was a relief," Graham agreed. "But I wasn't going to let those assholes see pain."

"So, the others?" Xander asked. He pulled off Graham's right boot and then looked up. Graham's face was a mask of pure weariness.

"Angelus has good reason to be cheerful. He's flushed us out of a couple of lairs. Spike is fraying at the edges, Cordelia is worried, and Faith..." Graham closed his eyes for a second. "Faith is always going to love Angel above everyone else. He saved her. He was the first person to ever forgive her, and I have always understood and respected that. I wouldn't expect to replace him in her heart any more than I would expect another girl to stop loving her father because she fell in love with me. And as we've seen more and more evidence that Angelus has come back a little more sane than he was a century ago, she's been torn."

"She wants to come back," Xander said softly. He didn't know how to feel about that because Angelus wasn't Angel. Some of the words were the same and the touch was the same, but it wasn't Angel. Xander still loved him, but a part of him would always ache for the gentleness and the uncertainty and the inherent goodness that had died with Angel.

"She knows it won't be the same, but yes. Maybe part of it is that her demon has an allegiance here. Maybe Angelus' court politics and the fact that he seems to be making more trouble in the demonic world than the human one just makes it easier for her to believe he won't force her to be evil." Graham sighed. "The consensus is that you've really changed him, and that's made it easier for Faith to considering coming back."

"Me?" Xander looked up, shocked. "Okay, I'm not doing so much changing as I am doing sitting at his feet, and in his bed, and when he's out hunting things, hiding on the fifth floor and renovating the west wing."

Graham frowned. "Xander, he killed Darla."

"Um, duh, a long time ago," Xander answered. Angel had done that back before they were even friends.

Graham gave Xander a very odd look. "Wolfram and Hart brought her back about a week ago. They tried to recreate the old Scourge of Europe, and apparently Angelus killed Darla and drove Dru out of the country."

Xander's mouth fell open as he tried to come up with some sort of response to that. Angelus was all about the power, and the Scourge of Europe had been big with the power.

"Spike seems to think Angelus is a lot saner this time around—that's one reason why Faith was considering following your lead. I just thought if I wasn't here to use as leverage, she might find it easier to back here. I guess that's not an option." Graham fingered the silver cuff. "At least Angelus seems more interested in securing his own power than taking out any nunneries."

"He's not a fledge. If he wants to impress people with his big bad self, he's not going to pick on the sheep," Xander said. "Whatever made him hate the church before, maybe Father Peter made it better, not that I'm going to say that because I'm still not okay with his position on gays, and really, I don't want Angelus to even think about him. Getting a priest killed is an express train to hell, and I prefer the old fashioned steam engine train to hell I'm on, thank you." Xander gave a dark laugh. "He really killed Darla and sent Dru away?"

"Yep," Graham agreed. "Actually, the number of paranormal deaths has actually dropped, so personally, I think you made the right choice," Graham said. "Riley agrees."

"Riley? Riley and Buffy know?" Xander fell back against the vanity and slid to the floor. Okay, having your ex-best-friends know that you chose the bed of a serial killer. Not good.

Graham rested his injured arm on the counter. "We had good cause to believe Angelus went to Sunnydale, that he had a minion watching your mother's house. The oracles were manipulative, but they seemed to excel in manipulating the truth. We couldn't expose the group in Sunnydale to that danger without warning them."

"I know. I'm just... creeped out," Xander explained. "And worried. Buffy is not good when it comes to using logic around Angel. It's like she lost all logic when she started crushing on him, and when the crush was over, the logic never came back. She still blames Angel for letting Spike kill Kendra, but Graham, Spike was the master of the hellmouth. Angel was a guy living in a basement apartment drinking cow blood."

"So he couldn't have stopped Spike, I understand that."

"He really couldn’t have." Xander looked up at Graham and tried to find the right words to make him understand. "Angel was sweet and confused and kind, and maybe even a little nerdy because he really liked reading big boring books and drawing. He did not have a whole lot of big bad in him. When the big bad showed up, that was more Angelus, and back then, Angel was not really into channeling his inner Angelus. But Buffy still blamed him, like he could have stopped Spike. If anyone gets the blame, I do for not convincing Kendra that Spike was too dangerous." Xander ran his hand through his hair and wondered if that wasn't where things all started to get to very weird. When he was young, right was right and wrong was wrong, and now right and wrong were all kind of muddled together, and that did seem like the beginning of the whole moral slide into confusion.

"The blame goes to the watchers who convinced a child that she had to fight alone," Graham said firmly. "Xander, I hate to say this, but if you don't help me get these pants off, I'm going to end up peeing myself."

"Oh geez. Sorry." Xander got back up to his knees and helped Graham. Once the shirt was off, Xander could see the beginnings of a spectacular map of bruising. The cuts on his arm were the only bleeding wounds, but he had several places with deep puncture marks surrounded by red swelling. Xander reached up to trace one. "Ow," he said sympathetically. "Were the others hurt?"

"Blair and I were out getting supplies. The goons were targeting me, so I ordered him to run like hell. If he did get hurt, I'm going to make him do pushups until his arms fall off for not following orders."

"What did this?" Xander asked, feeling the swelling like a giant bee sting just under the skin.

"Tazers. Hurt like hell. Actually, all of me hurts like hell. I probably fucked up the ankle even worse walking on it, but I wasn't about to let them see me limp. And here I thought I was above acting like some macho idiot." Graham laughed as he leaned forward, resting his weight on Xander's shoulders. Pulling his thoughts away from the horrors laid out on Graham's skin, Xander focused on getting Graham's pants off.

"Oh shit."

"I seriously hope you're commenting on my hip and not the size of my equipment, there," Graham joked.

"What the hell happened?" Xander asked. He ran his fingers over the skin above Graham's hip, and it was hot and swollen and red.

"One of the soldiers decided to kick the shit out of me for shooting his friend. His friend is still dead though." Graham sounded grimly pleased about that.

"You win on the hiding the injuries prize. You do know Angelus is going to be pissed you hid all this, right?" Xander asked. Graham settled back down onto the toilet, and Xander pulled his jeans the rest of the way off.

Graham sighed as he pushed his cock down toward the toilet, but he didn't pee right away. "Angelus ran his hand right over it. I think he already knows just how bruised I am. I just hope Wesley has something that can help or I'm going to be totally immobilized tomorrow." With a grunt and a grimace, Graham started to pee.

"Hurt?" Xander guessed.

"Like I'm peeing fire," Graham agreed, his voice tight. Xander moved to the bathtub and started warm water running. Angelus wanted all his toys back in place, but he would never understand why he had done something horrible by sending Wolfram and Hart after Graham. Angel never would have put Graham in that much danger, and Xander felt a wave of grief roll through him. Sometimes he thought his head was going to come apart from loving and grieving so much at the same time. And the sad thing was that he did love Angelus who was, in his own demony way, trying so hard to protect and reunite his family.

"Should I come back later?" Wesley asked from the door.

"Do you have medicine?" Graham asked.

"Yes, a drink and some salve that should aid healing."

"Then come on in. The more the merrier."

"Yes, but you're..."

"Naked," Graham finished for him. "And I'm going to stay that way because anything I put on now would just aggravate the swelling. So, can I drink that?"

Xander watched while Wesley inched into the room staring off at the wall while he held a cup out blindly. The cup was too far away, so Xander stood up and took it from Wesley before handing it over.

"Thank you," Graham said before he drank it.

"The salve should go on after the wound is cleaned. Otherwise, the skin could knit over any contamination, which would encourage infection." Wesley now studied the pattern on the towels.

"Right, so it's time for the bath," Xander said with as much cheerfulness as he could manage.

"Just give me a hand. If I lose my balance and go down now, Harmony is going to have to get me off the floor, and that really would be embarrassing," Graham said. Xander braced himself on the counter and offered Graham his shoulder. "Wesley, I went through years of military life and shared showers. I’m not going to get embarrassed by someone looking at me naked."

"And I attended boys' school which, might I say, was not nearly as morally upstanding as you Yanks assume. However, that does not mean I feel a need to invade your privacy," Wesley said without taking his eyes off the towels. "How serious is the bruising? I would prepare another potion that would heal, but I fear the acceleration of the healing would cause some discomfort."

"I can live with discomfort." Graham asked as he finally settled himself in the tub. "It's better than being crippled, so yeah, maybe you should get some of that."

"Graham." Wesley turned and looked Graham in the face. "I do apologize for the restraint. Had I any idea that he planned to use it on you, I would have attempted to incorporate some sort of failsafe." Wesley's gaze flicked down to the bracelet before he looked up at Graham's face again.

"Don't worry about it." Graham turned the cuff around on his arm, twirling it. "He would have found some other way to keep me in the hotel, and at least he didn't put me on a leash the way Spike threatened to leash Xander if he ever got his hands on him again."

"Great," Xander said with an eyeroll. Knowing Spike, that wasn't so much of a threat as a prediction of the future.

"Hey, I think you'd look cute leashed," Graham joked.

"How can you make jests about this?" Wesley demanded, his voice getting all high and tight.

Graham shrugged. "Because we're here and there's not much else we can do."

For long seconds, the two men looked at each other, and Xander really didn't have much of anything to say. He'd tried talking to Wesley, but they hadn't really been friends before, and now the awkward just sort of multiplied when they tried to talk. Xander suspected that his own guilt made it a little harder for him to really deal with people now... that and he was slightly totally terrified that Angelus would see any friendship as a reason to get jealous. Xander didn't think Wesley would survive a jealous Angelus.

"Yes, well, I'll go retrieve that potion," Wesley said, turning and leaving without any other comment.

Graham sighed and started gingerly rinsing his cut arm. Pink stained the water as he worked. "His head is going to pop like a tick if he can't learn to roll with the punches."

"These are not easy punches to roll with," Xander offered. He leaned back against the counter, wondering if he shouldn't give Graham a little privacy. Angelus would not exactly be happy if he walked in on this scene. But Angelus wouldn't be happy if Xander left Graham and Graham took a nose dive onto the tile floor, either.

"Are you okay?" Graham asked. Xander looked up to find Graham staring at him. "You're the one this is hardest on. Are you okay?"

Xander opened his mouth to say he was fine, but something else slipped out. "I miss him," Xander confessed in a whisper.

Graham nodded. "I remember when I lost my parents. I've taken some serious injuries in my life, but nothing ever hurt like that. Nothing ever will, except maybe if I lost Faith. But are you okay with Angelus?"

Xander blinked, ordering himself to just not get tangled up in all of the stupid stuff he couldn't change. "Better than I expected, actually. Hey, I'm not dead—that's a bonus. And Angelus is actually really good at sex. I kinda don't mind that part."

"That's good." Graham sighed and let the washcloth slip into the pink water. "Xander, rescue isn't coming for us."

Xander frowned. That had come out of nowhere. "I didn't expect rescue. I kinda expected that I'd get vamped and someone might stake me, but I didn't expect rescue. Spike knows better."

Graham laughed. "Yeah, Spike does. Besides, you're probably safer with Angelus considering how angry he is. I actually meant Riley and Buffy. When we called them, Wesley had already sent an email saying that you had come here voluntarily. They wanted to stage a rescue, and I told Riley that this was your choice and that there were no extenuating circumstances that would warrant military involvement."

Raising an eyebrow, Xander studied Graham. "You don't really think that worked on Buffy, do you?" he asked. "I kinda assumed Buffy would pretty much write me off as the biggest loser in Loserville for surrendering, but if she wanted to come, your little speech about extenuating circumstances is not going to stop her."

Graham looked over. "I told her that she had never understood your relationship with any of your family—and that Angelus was still your family— and that if she got involved here, she would not only destroy any friendship between you, but that she would probably destroy you."

Xander cringed. "Okay, that was not a pleasant conversation. I love Buffy, but she is not good at hearing what she doesn't want to hear."

With a shrug, Graham picked up the washcloth and stared on his other arm. "She didn't like it at all. It was also true. That's when Riley told me that if I wanted out, I had to take the transfer to South America or he couldn't take the security risk. He'd cut off all security clearances and cancel any active codewords I had access to."

"So, he left you out to dry," Xander summarized. Suddenly, he didn't like Riley nearly as much anymore.

"He let me make my choice, and I chose to stay with Faith," Graham corrected him. "Riley made the right call, but it means that I don't expect anyone to come for either of us."

"Except Faith," Xander said.

"Except Faith," Graham agreed. "I just really hope that you're right about Angelus wanting everyone back because once he has her, I can't help but worry that I'm a little unnecessary around here." Graham fingered the cuff. For the first time, Xander saw just how much worry and stress Graham was hiding under his soldier face. Maybe Xander was petty and small, but it actually made him feel better that someone else was feeling off balance—like he'd made a huge mistake, but he couldn't figure out what other mistake to make that would have been a smaller mistake. Xander was quickly coming to the conclusion there was no such thing as a right decision in all this mess, but maybe just lesser wrongs.

"Did Angelus really send them to capture you?"

"I think so. They complained about not being able to kill me."

"Then Angelus wants you and will keep you around," Xander said confidently. "In the past, his standard M.O. for screwing with someone's head was to kill a loved one and then let the person stew in their own grief. If he wanted Faith dead or just captive, he'd kill you and leave her all off-balance. If he wants Faith back in the family, then he wants her to see she can have what she used to have, only she has to come back to him. He's not going to like that she chose to leave, though. There may be some punishment involved that you're not going to like," Xander warned.

"He didn't punish me for leaving," Graham pointed out. "At least, not past what the goons did."

"But you're a human," Xander pointed out. "You're a toy, a possession. You don't punish your favorite toy for getting stolen, you punish the person who did the stealing, and Faith has enough status in the court that he may blame her for not having her loyalties straight."

For a long time, Graham stared at Xander like Xander had said something particularly sad. Then the moment passed. "Hey, help me wash off my back, here. I'm not exactly flexible tonight, and I want to get in that bed before all the joints stiffen up."

Xander nodded and came over to help Graham wash the dirt and blood off. From the looks of it, he hadn't bathed in several days, and Xander tried really hard to not think about Blair and Spike and Cordelia and Faith. Angelus had them running, and Xander couldn't do a damn thing to help any of them. He could only help Graham get cleaned up and then help him into bed.