Kin of the Soul

[lit_gal]

Once upon a time there was Kin of the Heart where Angel and Xander learned to be friends. Now we're working towards something entirely different.

Kin of the Soul
Slash: Angel/Xander, Angel/Spike
Rated: ADULT
banner by objectivelypink

The day after Xander decides that yes, he really and truly is gay, Angel is nowhere to be found, but there's a new face in town.

( Part One ) ( Part Two ) ( Part Three ) ( Part Four ) ( Part Five ) ( Part Six ) ( Part Seven ) ( Part Eight ) ( Part Nine ) ( Part Ten ) ( Part Eleven ) ( Part Twelve ) ( Part Thirteen ) ( Part Fourteen ) ( Part Fifteen ) ( Part Sixteen )
 

Xander shifted under an unfamiliar weight. Blinking, he opened his eyes and started cataloguing all the ways that his world had suddenly changed. He was definitely gay, and he had a sore-muscle kind of ache going on in his ass that reminded him of that. Spike was still with him in bed, and Xander was more than a little surprised at that.

Turning, Xander edged away and Spike's hand slipped down to his hip and then fell to the bed. A blue eye opened.

"Pet?" Spike asked, his voice bleary with sleep. Xander smiled. Spike was cute when he first woke up. Of course, it probably wasn't wise to point out that sleepy-Spike was cute, so he just shook his head. Spike frowned and blinked both eyes open before getting an elbow under him and propping himself up. "You okay, pet?"

"Much with the good. The good and the gay. I have the G's going today," Xander agreed. "And thank you for staying the night." Xander looked down at Spike's hand resting against the white sheets.

Spike reached over and put his hand on Xander's cheek. "Not exactly a chore sleeping in the middle of a warm bed that smells of lust."

"Well, yeah," Xander said weakly, "but I thought you'd want another warm, lusty bed."

Spike tilted his head. "I bloody worship the ground Cordelia walks on. She's a brilliantly vicious creature. But you're a right treat, pet." Spike sighed and twisted himself around so that he was sitting with his back to the headboard. For a second, the room was silent as Spike studied him, and Xander studied the sheets. There were definite stains. Big stains. "Did the great lug every tell you why he tortured Dru the way he did?" Spike finally asked.

"Okay, Spike, this is Angel. He feels broody about the fact that he can't control the world well enough to make everything rainbow bright. He's not going to bring up his torturing past—not unless he's in one of those moods where he wants to torture himself, and even then, I'm not the person he's going to tell those stories to. I think he tells Father Peter the big 'hate me because I'm evil' speeches." Right on cue, Spike rolled his eyes. But Xander would rather have Spike rolling his eyes at Father Peter than eating him.

Xander's eyes slipped down to where the sheet was hooked over one of Spike's legs, revealing his cock. When Xander looked back up, Spike was smirking. "Right then, Dru," he said, ignoring Xander's peek, but spreading his legs a little to give Xander a better view. "For vampires, the holy grail is to sire a vampire so loyal that he'll give his life for ya. The Master had Luke. Darla wanted Angelus to be that for her, but that didn't turn out so well." Spike shrugged. "But with Dru... Angelus was determined to prove that he had the ability to create a vampire who would be loyal enough to even lay down her life for him. He bloody ripped her apart and put her back together."

"Which is where all the weird and inappropriate 'daddy' comments come in," Xander finished. Giles had certainly filled them in on most of that very disturbing story—probably in the hopes that they would all be disturbed enough to stay away from Angel. And the rest he'd seen when Dru had decided that he was a bad puppy and had stalked him through Sunnydale.

"Yeah. And Dru was bloody loyal. Not sane, but loyal."

Xander waited for some sort of explanation that would make this weird morning conversation all logical-like.

"Pet, Angelus hated me when I was a fledge. Dru turned me and, poof, I'm bloody loyal to her. Loyal and sane."

Xander cringed. "Hello insecurity issues," Xander guessed.

"Soddin' right. The bloody mic took it as a challenge to try and turn me against Dru. He played sire, he took me hunting, he turned on me and beat me bloody. Maybe if he'd had enough time..." Spike shrugged. "He never did break my loyalty. It took Dru herself to drive me away, and even then I might 'ave turned to dust for her if you and Angel hadn't called."

"Spike?" Xander was still not connecting the dots into any sort of picture that made sense.

Spike slapped him on the shoulder. "You're part of the clan, pet. I'll bloody rip apart anyone who looks at ya wrong—don't care if it's a human or a moira. I'll be here any time you need, and if ya fuck up, I'll be perfectly happy ta teach you a lesson. But my loyalty..."

"You've given it to Cordelia," Xander guessed.

Spike smirked. "Girl knows how to torture without ever picking up a whip. If she ever gets turned, she'll bloody control the whole west coast. But she has total faith that I'll come home to her, so she doesn't worry about me being up here. My loyalty is hers, and if I forget that, she's promised to torture me into remembering or just setting me on fire." Spike wiggled his eyebrows like immolation was some sort of dirty, kinky sex game, and that was a little on the creepy side.

"But what about Angel?" Xander started to ask. Spike cut him off.

"She made it bloody clear that she's done with being second to Angel in anyone's affection. So, I've made it clear that Angel comes in second to her."

"And I come in third to Angel," Xander guessed. A little part of him understood that... was happy for that, even. He didn't want to come between Spike and Cordelia. Not only would that be really shitty, but it'd be stupidly dangerous. But on the other hand, it was really weird to think that he'd had sex with someone who put him down below others on some sort of mental scale of loyalty.

Xander tried to get out of bed, but Spike's hand darted out and caught him. "Pet, look at me," he ordered.

Xander couldn't. Before he could come up with an excuse, Spike had hauled him close—one arm around Xander's waist and the other under his chin. "You lot and your souls," Spike said with an amused tone. "I bloody loved last night. I loved it, and if you need it again, I'm bloody here and I always will be. Cordelia's not going anywhere, so I'm not either. But you have another vamp who needs you. And when you finally get through to that thick-headed git, I doubt he'll let me near you again. Cordelia has a lot more faith in vampire instincts and hierarchies than Peaches does. Bloody funny, that. But since I doubt I'll get to do this again soon..." Spike leaned in, and then they were kissing. At first, Xander was stiff, not sure what to do with his hands or his lips or his growing erection. But after the first second, all Xander could think about how good it felt.

For long second, Xander lost himself in the play of lips against his mouth and the dance of hands over his bare skin. Then Spike pulled back. He was smiling so widely that his eyes were crinkled at the corners.

"God," Xander sighed.

"I think I shag better than God," Spike said. "But the question is whether you want round two, or whether you're going to get cleaned up and go see for yourself that Cordelia is fine," Spike said. His hand trailing over Xander's hip was definitely pushing him toward door number one, but he was sore and even with Spike's reassurance, he was wigging a little.

"I think, maybe, you know..." Xander looked over at the door. Spike rolled his eyes and slapped Xander on the hip.

"Tell her we're going to need more blood." Spike sounded totally calm about it all as turned on his side and dropped back down onto the pillow. Clearly he wasn't worried at all, but then Spike and worry were definitely not friends. Not even friendly acquaintances. Now Xander and worry were way more with the intimate friendship.

"And pet, you might want to shower before Angel runs into you," Spike suggested sleepily.

Xander sniffed his underarm. He didn't think he smelled, but then vampires tended to do really weird things with sniffing. And while he really did plan to tell Angel, he might not want to tell him this fast. It would be good to get his own brain around the sex before having any more sex talks.

The shower turned into a wank-fantasy that started with Spike and ended with Angel all yellow-eyed and strong. Of course, that fantasy was definitely going to stay a fantasy. Spike had been so totally wrong about the part where he thought Angel would take Xander to bed, but he was right about Angel not trusting his vampire instincts. Yep, Angel trusted Father Peter. Father Peter said gay sex was wrong. Therefore, Xander was so totally screwed... or not screwed. Okay, he had been screwed, but he wasn't getting any more screwing unless he found someone else. And maybe he was being big with the prejudiced, but he didn't think it was going to be all that easy to find a gay happily-ever-after. Girls were more about the sappy stuff, but with Anya's deadline breathing down his neck, he was definitely running low on choices.

Xander stalled as he pulled on clothes. It was nearly noon, and the sun poured down onto the street. Normally he wasn't up until two or three since he did the night-class gig, but his brain was twisting into pretzel shapes as he thought about what he was going to do. Of course, his body pretty much voted for turning around and crawling back in bed with Spike. If it weren't for Cordelia and for Spike's need for a dominant lover, Xander could so see things being pretty close to perfect on that front. At least the sex was perfect.

When he stuck his head out into the hallway, Xander was surprised at the quiet. No Faith, no Blair, no Angel pacing up and down and randomly growling, and Xander had kind of expected that last one. After Angel's big growly moment last night, Xander thought he'd still be two steps behind Blair randomly threatening the man.

Xander got all the way to the lobby without seeing anyone, but a familiar face was sitting on the big circle couch. "Um... hi," Xander offered Graham.

"Xander. Hello." Graham smiled and nodded. "It's good to see you again."

"Yeah," Xander shot Cordelia a confused look, but she just shrugged and then went back to filing her nails to show just how little she cared. Xander just wasn't sure if she was not-caring girl about Graham or him and Spike or just the world in general.
"Morning, Cordy," Xander said hopefully. Last night had been... pretty fucking perfect. But he so totally did not want another round of weirdness and hurt feelings.

"So, are you off the fence?" Cordelia put her file down and really stared at him.

"Um, kinda," Xander admitted. If he had to pick between Spike or Faith, he was picking Spike. Actually, Spike scared him way less than Faith or Cordelia, but he was way too smart to tell any of them that.

Cordelia studied him, her eyes sliding over his body. "You're so gay," she said with a dismissive shrug.

"Um, that was sort of the point," Xander answered. He noticed that Graham was looking way more than slightly confused, but he didn't plan on explaining anything. He still wasn't quite sure why he was getting a free pass from Cordy, but he was so not poking that gift horse by repeating the tale far and wide.

Cordelia looked him up and down. "Next time, sleep with Graham if you feel the need to scratch that itch," she said. For a second, Xander could only choke on his shock and indignation, and really, he lived in a hotel with Cordelia and Spike, he should not have any shock or indignation left. He should have been shocked and indignated out after a week.

"I... Xander, I'm sorry, but I'm not gay," Graham hurried to say.

"You're in a very small minority around here," Xander said, he then flinched when Cordelia gave him a particularly hard stare.

"What?" Graham's voice was somewhere between shocked and squeaky.

Time for a tactical verbal retreat. "No problem. I do not plan on going there—not that you are very attractive, because you are. Very attractive with the whole manly-man look, not that only manly men are attractive, because Cordy here is still very much... and I’m stopping now." Xander decided that his feet needed to retreat because his mouth's retreat button was obviously broken.

"Does anyone want coffee, because I think I need to do something before I manage to get both feet in my mouth at once." Xander could feel his face get hot. Okay, he was obviously way better at being gay than talking about it. But then, after years of trumpeting his heterosexuality, his tongue was probably just tripping over the sudden about face. Not that it had been all that sudden. The Michael Knight fantasy had been in there right alongside Catwoman and the very hot and very scary women of Star Trek Voyager.

"I'm surprised your mouth isn't foot-shaped from the amount of time you have one shoved in there," Cordelia offered. "Angel went storming off into the sewers, by the way, and you *will* be dealing with that mess, understood?" Cordelia gave him a sweet smile, one that made him want to reach down and protect his cock and balls with his hands.

"Dealing with Angel. Got it. And Graham, unless you have really, really good news, you might want to be big with the scarceness when the Irish one returns. He's..." Xander thought about how to explain this whole screwy situation. If Angel would have just slept with him in the first place, this wouldn't be so very, very screwed up. "He's going to be cranky," Xander finished with a helpless shrug.

Cordelia snorted. "Homicidally cranky. And if he eviscerates Spike, I'm eviscerating you." Cordelia's smile thinned into something pretty wicked and homicidal looking before she turned to head back to the kitchens.

Xander watched her disappear. "And people wonder why I'm gay," he sighed. "Or bisexual. Or bisexual with a strong preference for gay. And I think I’m tripping over my tongue again. Seriously, would you like some coffee, Graham? If we hurry, we can probably still cut Cordelia off before she touches the coffeemaker. Her coffee is more good with the stripping of paint or repelling of demons than with the drinking."

"Coffee would be fine," Graham nodded.

"Watch the floor. We had a d'mak'ta staying here and we haven't gotten all the mucus off the floor yet," Xander suggested as he followed Cordelia. Graham looked at him oddly and then stared at the floor for a second before following Xander.

"A demak'ta?

"D'mak'ta," Xander corrected him. "They're fairly harmless, but no way can they pass for human, which is why they need the demon-friendly hotel. That and the fact that most people don't want to scrape snot off their floor. They make really bad house-guests, but really pay well." Xander shrugged and pointed to a glob. He'd get around to cleaning it when it dried enough to stick together instead of sticking to him.

"It's an interesting line of work." Graham sounded like he was about ready to call for the guys in the white coats, but Xander supposed it did look kinda crazy from the outside. And actually, it was nice to have someone focus on the demon hotel crazy instead of the bed-hopping demony crazies.

"It pays the bills and keeps Cordelia from crawling all over Angel about bills and salaries." Xander pushed through into the kitchen and sighed at the electrical wires still hanging out of the walls. "And if it's a wire, don't touch it," he suggested. He was never, ever going to get all the crap around this place fixed—not even if he magically got a crew of fifty and a hundred years.

"So, what brings you to L.A.?" Xander asked. He hurried over and grabbed the coffee out of Cordelia's hands. The withering look she gave him was way less scary than her coffee.

Graham didn't answer right away, but he was one of those people who tended to think things through before talking, sort of an anti-Xander. "The general believed that we should have a liaison officer here," he finally answered.

"I think there's already enough liaisoning going on around here." Cordelia gave Xander one of her looks. Xander paused as he scooped out the grounds, studying her as he tried to figure out if this was normal Cordelia-torture or if she was more pissed than he thought. He never wanted to hurt her, and he wouldn't have dreamed of taking Spike up on the offer if he thought it would hurt her. Maybe if she was looking at him, he'd have a change to judge her level of pissedness, but she was focusing on Graham.

When the silence descended on the room, she finally looked over at him. For a second, she frowned, and then she rolled her eyes.

"Get over yourself. Any bad mood I am indulging in has more to do with my lack of appropriate pay and the lack of respect I am getting from our guests than your bed hopping."

"So, we're okay?" Xander asked hopefully.

"Oh please. If I had a problem, I would have said something. It's not the same with vampires, and you know it." Cordelia crossed her arms and did that breast-plumping thing she did when she was really on the verge of sharpening her claws on your internal organs.

A little voice told Xander to shut up, but that advice was way too good for him to actually take it. "Hey, not a vampire here," he pointed out.

"No, you're more like vampire imprinted, like those little ducks that follow some plane around because they're stupid and think that the plane is their mother, that's you, only with vampires."

"Hey, I am not ducklike!"

Cordelia looked him up and down again, and Xander could feel his face heat up. Slowly, she smiled one of her vicious smiles that made it pretty clear she could date a vampire and come out on top. "If it looks like a duck and waddles like a duck...." Cordelia looked pointedly down toward Xander's legs.

Graham snorted with laughter and then very quickly covered with a loud cough. Xander brought his legs together quickly, his face heating as he realized he been standing all wide-legged and ducklike. But he couldn't help it; he was sore. And now that he had his legs together, he was more sore. Cordelia rolled her eyes at him. "Dork," she announced. And with that, she was out the kitchen door and heading back for the counter. He'd take her a cup of coffee later, and maybe she'd tell him what she was really upset about.

Xander sighed and started counting out little scoops of coffee and pouring them into the filter. "So, Graham... why did the general send you?" Xander frowned, realizing about two seconds too late that it sounded like he was implying that the general shouldn't have sent him. "Not that there's a problem with him sending you— Okay, I am seriously in babble mode, so feel free to cut me off. I've just had an... interesting day." Xander finished and flipped the coffee maker to on before he turned to face the guy.

"Maybe we should wait—" Graham stopped and shook his head. "I don't mean to be taciturn, Xander, but I don't know the rules here, and I'm trying to not step on any toes."

That was a little odd. "What toes are you afraid of stepping on, because there are lots of toes around, but you'd be amazed at how hard it is to step on them. I'm a champion toe-stepper, and no one takes it particularly badly when I step away," Xander offered. From the look on Graham's face, he was wigging almost as bad as Xander, and the truth was, Xander always like dealing with other people's wig-outs way more than his own. For a second, he didn't think Graham was going to answer, but then the guy shrugged.

"The prevailing thinking was that since Spike had already established dominance with me, he might be more willing to have me around." Graham pulled out a kitchen chair and straddled it, his back to the table as he faced Xander.

"Okay, that's weirdly not stupid for the government. When did the government become not stupid?"

Graham laughed. "Captain Finn suggested that vampire behavior more closely resembled the psychology of predators than humans. Being stuck in a vampire body changed the way he saw our mission, so our unit has recruited a couple of wildlife biologists. They said that since Spike already broke my arm and proved that he could take me in a fight, he might be less homicidal at the thought of me joining your group as a liaison between here and Sunnydale."

"Spike as a tiger, that actually works. Well, except for the whole implication for bestiality because, seriously, when it comes to sex, I am calling him one-hundred percent human because anything less is going to seriously squick me."

Graham looked like he had just bitten something sour. "Xander, I know the bite is addictive. He didn't...." Graham waved a hand in the air that made it look like he was implying that Spike had been surfing... or maybe belly-dancing... those might be belly-dancing moves Graham was making with his hands.

"Hey! I will have you know that I am perfectly capable of picking semi-inappropriate partners all on my own. Not that I'm saying Spike was inappropriate, because he was weirdly appropriate, and that is all I'm going to say about that very not-so-horrible night. Well, other than there was no biting involved. There was sex, but with vampires in a clan that is way less committmenty than biting."

"So you enjoyed it?"

"Oh yeah. So very much with the yeah. Total yeah." Xander stopped. He could feel the big stupid grin on his face, but he could not seem to get it to go away. "And this is so not the conversation I planned to have with pretty much anyone, much less some guy I don't really know much."

"Sometimes it's easier when you don't know someone," Graham offered.

"You're another of those psycho people, like Riley, aren't you," Xander accused the man.

"Psych," Graham corrected him, "and I'm guilty as charged. The Sunnydale unit needed men who could think on their feet and handle extreme psychological readjustment as well as follow orders. Even when Walsh was there, the command wasn't a traditional one."

"Walsh... the creepy 'shooting her guys up with weird hormones' lady, right?" Xander asked.

Graham nodded.

"Okay, that's what I expect from the government—pure stupidity and a real lack of concern about things like people's rights." That comment made Graham flinch, but he didn't try to defend himself. Xander figured that if he could get over the urge to try and win arguments, Angel and Spike just might let him stay.

After a second, Graham looked over at Xander. "Professor Walsh was sentenced to eight years in a military prison for her willingness to ignore the rights of the men on whom she was experimenting. She was out of line, and her treatment of demons was misguided. The whole government isn't like her. "

"Just parts," Xander pointed out before he went to get eggs out of the refrigerator. "And I hope you know that if you guys don't back Buffy up, Angel is going to make you more than a little miserable."

"I think that's pretty well known," Graham agreed. "The unit is doing well in Sunnydale. That's actually why I'm here, but I think I should probably be discussing this with Angel."

The doors pushed open and Spike came in, his hair still falling in soft curls. "If ya want the great sod to listen to whatever you have to say, best to tell Xander first. He's got a way of manipulating Peaches," Spike suggested. Walking over to the fridge, he pulled a bag of blood out. "I couldn't sleep with the soddin' bed empty," Spike complained as he wandered over and gave Xander's hip a sharp slap.

"Ow!" Xander complained more for effect than because of any hurt. Spike raised an eyebrow at him.

"Git." Spike reached over Xander to pull a mug out of the cupboard.

"As long as Cordy is," Xander offered.

Spike cocked his head. "Her foul mood's not got anything to do with you, luv. You two are still right as rain," he promised, and Xander could only hope that Spike was telling the truth because Xander did not want her being all pissed and pissy and hurt. None of those were good things in his book. And he'd hurt her already. He'd hurt her more than he'd understood until he'd finally admitted to himself that he did love Angel. Dating one person and loving another was way, way worse than even the sleeping with someone else bit. Looking back, Xander really hadn't been given a whole lot of choice about sleeping with Faith, but he had totally been choiceful when he'd fallen for Angel.

"So, you," Spike said as he turned a harsh glare toward Graham. Xander gave the guy credit for having balls because the soldier just stood beside the table. He didn't even flinch at the sight of the vampire who had beaten the snot out of him and broken his arm. "Start talking."

"I really should...." Graham took a deep breath as he seemed to make some sort of decision. Of course, his change of heart might have something to do with the fact that Spike had vamped out and was glaring at him with yellowed eyes. "The general believes that the best way to minimize the risk is to insert teams with locals, to provide trained back up and firepower based on local intel and request from local support. That way we can eliminate major threats without accidentally taking out undisruptive species that might be controlling an invasive species from taking root in an area."

"Am I alone in thinking... huh?" Xander asked.

"They don't want to kill off the good guys and let the world-endin' types take over," Spike translated. "So, they figure ta send you in? What if I break your other arm and send you toddling off to wherever the fuck you soldier-boys go when you aren't tripping on your own boot-laces?" Spike leaned back against the counter, and Xander recognized the cat-playing-with-mouse expression. He'd been the mouse to Spike's cat often enough that he knew Spike was just playing, but Graham had turned a little gray around the edges.

Graham drew himself up even taller. "That was a risk I was willing to take. The second I started thinking with my larger brain, I realized that I had no business sleeping with Faith. Your actions were extreme, but I can't call them unjustified."

Spike started moving forward, his hips rolling in a dangerous prowling gait.

"Um, Spike?" Xander called. Spike totally ignored him. Weirdly, Graham did too. Graham just tightened his jaw and focused his gaze on his own shoes. His gray complexion had gone white.

"So, you think you can play games, you think you can write reports and predict how I'll react to you? Are you really that sure of yourself?" Spike's voice was cold and cruel, and something hard and tight settled into the pit of Xander's stomach. This was not feeling gamelike.

"Maybe I should go get Cordy," Xander suggested in a small voice. Yep, Cordy would just bitchslap Spike into being more Spikelike and less... completely, freaking terrifyingly vampy.

"Sit," Spike growled, his yellow eyes freezing Xander mid-step.

"Or I could sit," Xander agreed, dropping into a chair as far away from Graham as he could. Oh this could go so very, very wrong. And this was the creature who he had trusted enough to have sex with. This was the creature Cordelia was still having sex with—who she intimidated by glaring at. He wasn't sure if that said something scary about Spike or Cordelia or maybe both.

"So, you think you want to join our merry little band, is that it?" Spike asked, and now he had a creepy-friendly voice going. The hairs on Xander's arm stood up.

"I am here to present a request to Angel. I have no interest in pushing in where I'm not wanted." Graham's voice sounded calm, but Xander could see the man's left hand tremble slightly as he held it down by his side. Oh, this was so going to turn ugly because the smell of fear was an aphrodisiac to most demons. He figured that was why no demons ever bothered Cordy—she never felt fear. She just inspired it in others.

"Too late. You pushed in here." Spike stopped on Graham's right side. Reaching up, he ran a finger over Graham's neck. "So, you stop to think what the initiation ritual might include?" Spike kept right on stroking the skin on the side of Graham's neck. The trembling in his left hand increased until he reached out and grabbed the edge of the table and stilled it.

"I know that a lot of creatures have dominance displays. I know I'm not anywhere near the top of the dominance pile around here and that if you accept me as a liaison officer that you'll probably feel a need to point that out on a regular basis."

Spike cocked his head. "Dominance displays? Makes me sound like a bloody peacock." With a snort, Spike turned his back and the vampire features fell away. Xander, however, kept holding his breath. "So, what sort of dominance displays did you expect?" Spike asked in the same disinterest tone he might use to ask about the weather, if he ever had asked about weather. He took his mug of blood and put it in the microwave. With his back turned, he was giving Graham the perfect chance to either attack or run, and Xander really, really hoped the guy understood just how stupid both of those would be.

Graham's gaze slipped over to Xander, but Xander could only stare at the man blankly. If Graham wanted answers, he should so be cheating off someone who actually understood what was going on. That person would not be Xander.

"I was hoping that it wouldn't be anything more serious than what you did in Sunnydale. You certainly proved your superiority in a fight over and over... and over." Graham swallowed, and the humor sounded forced, even to Xander who didn't have vamp hearing.

"No other thoughts?" The microwave dinged and Spike took his blood out before he finally turned around again. He slowly brought the mug up to his lips and drank the blood with an expression of pure, unadulterated joy. Xander had seen the vamps drink blood a whole lot, and he'd never seen Spike make a show out of it the way he was now.

"None that I'd like to share," Graham said.

Spike didn't answer right away. His eyes had fallen closed, and slowly he brought the mug down. When he finally opened his eyes, they were yellow again. "Don't care what you want to share. I asked a question, mate." Spike carefully placed the mug on the counter.

Graham swallowed. "The unit has often discussed the possibility that you feed from the humans in the group."

"So, you signed up for that, did you? Maybe you're curious?" Spike looked Graham up and down as though he were a car Spike was thinking about stealing. From the thoughtful look on Spike's face, Graham was landing in the 'maybe worth it' category.

Graham swallowed several times, his Adam's apple bouncing. "I would endure that."

"Not for long. After two or three times, you'd crave that. I can always smell the ones who would enjoy the bite. And with the bite, we'd have to break you in a bit."

Graham's eyes finally left the floor and they stared at Spike with heat and anger, and for a half-second, Xander wondered if Spike was going to react to that silent challenge. Then Spike laughed. "Pillock," he declared before he picked up his mug and headed out for the front. As he was passing Graham, he stopped and looked at first Graham and then Xander.

"I don't bloody rape, but before you lot play this game with another court, you'd better soddin' understand one thing: proving allegiance usually involves going arse up in front of the whole court and letting them all have a shot at fucking you. You're just lucky that this clan has a different definition of allegiance and a different use for sex—got it?"

"Understood," Graham immediately answered.

Spike snorted again, and then he pushed back through the doors.

Once Spike left, Xander started breathing again. Graham all but collapsed into the chair across from Xander, his face even more pale than a vampire's. The kitchen was so silent, Xander could hear Graham's rough breath and his own madly beating heart.

"Um, Graham, you may want to run for the hills before you get a second round of that speech," Xander suggested softly. Graham looked up at him, and his pale face was slowly turning pink like he'd been out in the sun too long.

"I volunteered for this, but if I don't complete the mission and present the offer, someone else will come in my place. If someone has to do this, I'm the best choice." Graham stopped. Xander understood duty and he understood the need for evil-fighting groups to make their own Justice-League type alliances, but that didn't mean he understood Graham's willingness to walk into the middle of this. "I'm just glad that it doesn't look like I'll have to actually sleep with...." The pink in his face deepened. "Not that there's anything wrong with sleeping with a man. It's not something I'm interested in, but that's not suggesting that there's anything inherently wrong—I have no problem with Willow and Tara, no problem at all."

Xander watched with more than a little amusement. He wondered if he looked like that when he got going. Maybe Graham caught a look at the amused expression on Xander's face because he closed his mouth. Clearing his throat, Xander focused on his coffee cup and tried not to smile. "Whoa, wait." He looked up. "Willow and who?"

"Tara. Tara Maclay. The woman Willow is seeing."

Xander put his coffee down so fast that it slopped over the sides. "Willow's gay?" Xander could hear his own voice squeak. For a second, Graham just frowned at him in confusion. But Xander was way more confused than Graham was. Willow was his friend. Okay, Willow had been his friend and now she was more like someone he had fond thoughts about when he actually thought about her, but still, he should know she had her gay on.

"She's dating a woman, so yes, I think she's gay."

"But what about Oz... and as someone who just jumped the genderline I'm sounding weirdly unopenminded here, but what about Oz? Didn't he come back?"

"No, he's been gone since before the spell that turned Riley into a vampire. Willow started dating Tara not long after that."

"Way to be way uninlooplike," Xander sighed. "She was my best friend for years, and she doesn't even mention to be that she's going gay."

"Did you tell her about your change of heart?" Graham asked, and suddenly his voice sounded a whole lot like Xander's second therapist, the one who turned blue if you managed to say something really, really shocking.

Xander glared at Graham. "That would be a 'no.' However, being girl-gay is way less stressful than being boy-gay. Face it, girl-gay just inspires thoughts of the lusty sort, not the gay-bashing sort."

"So, you were afraid she would bash you?" Graham asked in confusion. Xander glared at the man harder and picked up his coffee again.

"No. I’m just a big, old coward who so did not want to have that conversation. Look, the weirdness goes way back and trust me, you do not want to hear that sordid little tale. Any time there are multiple women involved, the man is not going to come out without emotional and psychological damage, and I am not going there."

"Multiple women?" Graham sounded downright interested.

Xander thought about those days. Willow had been chasing him, and he'd felt like shit that he couldn't like her. Instead, he'd gone chasing first Amy and then Kendra and then finally the holy grail of women, Cordelia. He'd shocked himself when he landed her. And then Faith had landed him. Oh there were way too many women involved in that story. Xander was just amazed he'd walked away with a cock still attached to his body. Rather than explaining any of this, Xander gave a half shrug. "I tell you what. Angel's going to be off brooding most of the day. Why don't you help me put in the wiring for the new stove and I'll find you a room."

"I'd appreciate that," Graham answered. "Do you mind if I get myself some coffee?" he asked. Xander waved a hand in the general direction of the coffee maker, and Graham got up to serve himself. Willow was gay. That was just sort of freaky. Xander wondered if Jesse would have given up the girl-chasing when he grew up. Maybe they'd all drunk gay water or something. Life was truly strange, sometimes. And hopefully, now that he was officially and cherry-popped gay, he could get Angel to act like a vampire instead of a stick up his ass Puritan. If not, things were about to get even stranger now than they had been back during his Willow-avoidance days.