Kin of the Heart
Nov. 9th, 2008 08:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lit_galThis time, actually beta'ed!! Thanks slashpuppy!!
In this universe, Xander challenged Angel right up front--called him a pedophile to his face. And from there, everything changed.
Previous parts: HERE
Summary: So, just how well will Riley and his team handle the weirdness that his Buffy's life.
Warnings: None
Part Twenty Six: Powerful Beyond Measure
Xander stopped outside the school and chewed his lip. He felt like he was bringing a date home to meet the parents, not that he took people home to meet the parentals or that his dad had a home other than the street corner and a bottle of gin. But Angel had set this little meet up, and it was like if Riley fucked this up, Angel was going to look bad, and Xander wanted no part of making Angel look bad.
He had this dreamworld where both halves of his life got along—the half with Buffy and Willow that was quickly looking like his past *and* the half with Angel and Spike that was looking like his future. It was a wild and implausible dream, but he had a right to hope. And if this blew up in their faces, Giles and Buffy were so blaming Angel for going and doing the big government thing without even discussing it. Xander was the first to admit that sometimes Angel needed a swift kick in the ass for going off on his own, but sometimes Angel's crazy plans worked. He just really didn't want this to be one of Angel's spectacular failures because pulling the government in was more than a little crazy.
Xander turned to the soldier standing next to him. "When you meet Buffy, just do not go saying anything that might imply that she's short... or little in any way. And you might avoid words like girly. There's something really wrong about a big bad demon hunter looking like a blonde ditz, but if the words blonde or ditz cross your lips, you will be trying to find your body parts," Xander warned Riley. But then Riley looked a little too worried. "And I meant that totally metaphorically. She isn't into breaking people... much. There was this guy, but he was saying stuff... and I think I'm just stopping now. I'm stopping right after I point out that Percy West is whole and unbroken and only forever humiliated by a public slapdown where a girl shoved him in a toilet, and he deserved everything he got."
"A toilet?" Riley was looking even more with the worried. The fact was that Riley made him nervous, and nervous him babbled. Riley was representing the whole federal government here. The general was all onboard with the Buffy-plan, but if Buffy wasn't on board with the Buffy-plan, there would definitely be less plan-iness and more weirdness.
Xander stopped on the steps of the school and wondered again exactly how he had ended up volunteering to make the introductions. Actually, he was pretty sure he hadn't volunteered, but somehow he'd ended up looking all volunteery. But now Riley was looking all worried, which was not exactly going to make a good impression, and Giles was pretty much already unimpressed. Any more unimpressing and he was so going to veto this whole idea. Xander sighed and sent up a silent prayer that he wouldn't screw this all up because without the Council, Buffy needed backup. Actually, she probably needed it even with the Council because those guys were about as useful as a parent on prom night.
"Look, Percy did the whole more-than-just-kiss and tell on Buffy, and he was her first, and badness followed, and I so should not have told you that story, so just forget it. The point I was trying to make was that Buffy doesn't need someone looking at her and doing the judging thing. I know you were weirdly impressed with the seven vamps the other night..."
"Because it was impressive. When the trio attacked, I really thought you were going to get hurt," Riley hurried to assure him.
"And I would have. There was hurting on the horizon, which is why Angel had to go sailing in and take one of them out," Xander pointed out. "Although really he should get credit for two because he was holding that one when I staked him." Xander had gotten five vamps without too much trouble, even though it'd taken him three stabs before he hit the heart on number four, but the last one of the night, which had turned out to be the last three, had just been too much.
"Anyone would have needed backup. But you fought well," Riley disagreed.
"You know, my self-image is centered on being comic relief and moral center and backup guy, and you're screwing with my head with the whole calling me a fighter thing. Keep it up and I'm siccing my therapist on you for giving me identity issues," Xander complained as he pushed open the double doors into the main hall. You'd think someone would lock the school after hours, but maybe they'd just gotten tired of replacing locks and had just given up.
"You go to therapy?" Riley looked at him strangely.
"Hey, there is nothing wrong with therapy, Bub!" Xander insisted as he poked a finger in Riley's direction. He'd forgotten that most people didn't see therapy as big with the healthy. Wesley had looked at him with pity and anxiety the first time one of the girls said something.
"Of course not," Riley quickly agreed. "I have a degree in psychology and I'm working on my masters, and therapy is required for the unit. A human being can't fight demons straight out of nightmares without dealing with the psychological impact. I'm just surprised. Most people avoid therapy."
"Oh, I totally would have avoided if I could. I would have been avoidy until my dying day, only Angel grabbed me by the back of the neck and dragged me into the office. And then my first therapist moved, and I was all for quitting, but Angel made me go to the new therapist. Angel’s just a giant mother hen with poofy hair. Oh, and my therapist turns blue when you tell her things that make her all shocky, by the way."
Riley got another of those weird faces, like he couldn't quite decide how he was supposed to react to that, but then they had kinda rearranged Riley's world lately. Xander remembered how that felt. "You know. Angel's not the only non-vampy vamp. I mean, there are suckhouse vamps, and they're more about just staying out of the way and then there are the minions that are rising around here, and they're all stupid and grrrrr and running straight at your stake like one of those stupid movie-mummies from the fifties and then there are master vampires who are all strategy and doom and destruction. We even had a vamp who kept trying to raise money. He set up a Slayerfest that sold tickets for bounty hunters who wanted intel on the slayers so they could hunt them. Vamps come in all sorts of flavors. One even helped us close the hellmouth, no soul attached, because he likes the world the way it is. So, stereotyping vamps is not really with the open-mindedness."
Riley still didn't look convinced, but Xander figured he'd give the guy time to adjust. Besides, Riley was about to meet the slayer gang, and that was going to redefine a whole bunch more of those rules in his head.
"If I don't have a chance to see your vampire again, thank him for requesting me for this post," Riley said stiffly as they turned the corner and the library door came into sight. Riley got all weirdly stiff when people started talking about goodish demons, but hopefully he'd get over it. If not, Xander could always invite him for an LA trip to meet the blue therapist and spiny secretary and green lounge singer. That would shake his world up good.
"No thanks needed," Xander shrugged. "If Angel says you're all cool-under-fire guy and the right one to backup Buffy, he meant it. He isn't big for saying things he doesn't mean. And when he does lie, he gets this scrunchy look like his whole face is trying to move into the middle all at once. It's not pretty," Xander said with a shudder. "So, are you ready to meet the gang?"
Xander pushed the doors to the library open and started to greet everyone with his usual flair. The words caught in his throat at the chaos he found inside.
"Listen, there's a killer in the cafeteria," Buffy was saying as she sat on the edge of the table and everyone sort of gathered around her.
"Okay, this is different," Xander said as he edged into the room. Riley stepped up to his side and considered the gathered group. Willow looked downright panicked, and even Oz looked like he was working on a facial expression. Wesley was clutching a book and Ms. Calendar and Giles were presenting that united front of calmness they did when things got really bad.
"Someone was thinking about it!" Buffy insisted when no one answered her. They were all too busy trading concerned looks with each other. "They thought, 'This time tomorrow, I'll kill you all.' They were right in the cafeteria. We have to find them." She started getting off the table and Giles caught her arm to keep her from falling down.
"Did you, uh, recognize a voice?" Giles asked.
"No."
"Boy or girl?" Willow was going right into research mode, Xander knew that face. Okay, so something big had been with the happening.
"Hey guys, what's up?" Xander asked the crowd. He stepped in and Riley walked silently at his side. This was actually kinda weird because Xander was supposed to be providing the introductions, but he was definitely feeling like an outsider.
"Buffy can read minds," Willow answered.
"And it's not as much fun as it sounds," Buffy agreed. "There's someone in the cafeteria thinking about how everyone is going to be dead tomorrow."
"See, I've been saying for years that the lunch lady's gonna do us all in with that Mulligan Stew," Xander tried joking. He got a few glares. "And that was probably inappropriate humor given the circumstances," he quickly added. "Buff, are you sure that the person with the homicidal thoughts meant it? I mean, who hasn't had a thought or two that strayed to the land of inappropriate violence? Back before he came out of the closet, Larry inspired me to have all sorts of fantasies about murdering the football team, although now I'm old enough to admit that my anger may have been fueled by a self-esteem in total freefall."
"I know the difference. He... she... whoever, they meant it. They're gonna do it." Buffy crossed her arms in a move that just dared Xander to disagree with her, and he was not idiot enough to go there. "And I am not daring you to do anything," Buffy insisted crossly.
"Okay, that's just slightly freaky," Xander said with a frown. How was he supposed to keep from thinking things? And oh shit, he'd told Riley about Percy and that was so not a smart thing for him—
"You what!?" Buffy yelped.
"What? What?" Willow asked as she looked around wildly.
"He told new guy about West." Buffy pointed an angry finger at Riley, and Riley looked ready to run for the hills. That might actually be a smart thing to do.
"I didn't mean to. I just babbled," Xander defended himself.
"As interesting as this is, we do have a problem to focus on. Buffy, perhaps you should go home? I can take you," Giles offered.
Ms. Calendar nodded in agreement, which was weird because they were usually much more for disagreeing and then getting that funny look that meant they were having sex after disagreeing.
"Ick!" Buffy complained. "There will be no thoughts of Giles sex!"
Giles gave Ms. Calendar a withering glare. "I'm not!" she argued, her hands held up. "I was thinking about doing a shielding spell to try and block some of the thoughts invading Buffy."
"Thanks for the support there, Giles. I appreciate knowing that I might go crazy if you don't." Buffy crossed her arms and glared at Giles.
"Is anyone still kinda creeped out by how she answers people who haven't talked?" Willow asked quietly.
"Me," Oz answered with a thoughtful nod.
"Actually, I was going to suggest that a better use of your magics might include tracking the second demon so we could retrieve the heart for Buffy to consume." Giles looked over at Xander and Riley... finally. "I'm afraid that this is a particularly bad time. Buffy has been infected by a demonic power, and we need to focus on this. Jenny, if you would track the demon, perhaps Wesley and I can try and track it to its lair."
"I could come. I have the fire spell down," Willow offered.
"Yes, I appreciate the offer, but we need to retrieve the heart, not incinerate it. Perhaps next time?" Giles suggested. Xander watched as Willow shrank back just a little bit. Geez, was she so insecure that she needed to be in on every mission? Xander wondered why he hadn't ever noticed that before, but ever since the whole dirty dancing incident at homecoming, he'd tried to avoid Willow. Between her stammering and Oz's growling, it wasn't really all that comfortable. In fact, in the last five months, he could count on one hand the number of times he'd been in a room with Willow. Buffy looked over at him strangely.
"Willow," she said, "we have until lunch tomorrow to figure out who the killer is, and I just can't be around people. I mean, I love you guys, but you're giving me a headache just being near. Could you track down any suspects? And yeah, I know old optimist over there thinks that everyone wants to blow up his school, but seriously, maybe we could narrow that down to a list of people I could actually investigate?"
"I can do that. I could check the FBI for mass-murderer profiles. See if maybe we can rule some people out. I'll get on that."
"Someone is going to commit mass murder?" Riley asked, speaking for the first time. He might not be Oz level of laconic, but he wasn't exactly a chatty Kathy, either.
"Right now, I am rather more concerned about the second demon and stopping this power before Buffy falls into a coma. Jenny, could you please track that second demon while I take Buffy home? Wesley, you're in charge of weapons."
"Angel could do it if you could wait until after nightfall, not to suggest that you and Wesley can't handle one little demon," Xander quickly added. He glanced over at Wesley again. "But Angel would be more than happy to do it after dark. Just give him the name of the demon and the body part you'd like ripped out."
Giles looked over at Wesley, and that was not a complimentary expression. Buffy actually flinched and looked a little pale as she grabbed for the edge of the table. "As much as I would love to leave this for Angel, I don't think we can wait. Wesley and I will simply have to handle it," Giles said harshly. Wesley didn't even answer, but his back was stiff and Xander could almost feel the misery leaking out of him, which might explain the pained expression on Buffy's face.
"Perhaps Xander should..." Riley started saying. Buffy looked at him in shock, but then, who knew what kind of weird military stuff she was getting from him.
"I hardly think Xander needs to be in the middle of this," Giles quickly cut him off. Then Giles looked at Wesley again. "Then again, perhaps Xander might come along as backup."
"I was going to suggest that Xander and I could hunt this demon. I have two men I utterly trust still in town who could back us up. If this is a demon you feel confident taking on with..." Riley glanced over at Wesley... "minimal backup, then four of us should be able to handle it."
Xander almost felt bad for Wesley. Yep, he was a schmuck and an idiot, but the new guy who'd been here for all of five minutes had already sized him up and relegated him to minimal-land. As a long time resident and only recent emigrant from the land of being minimal, Xander had to feel a little Wesley-sympathy. God he was sick in the head because he used to be way better at holding a grudge. His grudge reflex was way way rusty these days. Too much therapy.
"While I appreciate the offer—" Giles started.
"Let him," Buffy interrupted. Giles looked over at her in surprise.
Buffy looked about ready to cry with pain, but she looked firm at the same time, and Xander couldn't quite figure out how she managed that set of facial expressions. "I can't shut it out Giles. It's like this invasion of my head. It's like there're these strangers walking around in there. It's just a... Look at this, I can't even be around people anymore. Not that they're really clamoring to be near me anyway. Even you. I really need to go home."
"I'll take you," Giles immediately offered as he stepped to her side. "I'll be back as soon as I can," Giles told the rest of them as he slipped an arm around Buffy's waist.
"Xander and Riley will handle the demon hunt, okay?" Buffy asked. Giles didn't answer, but Buffy nodded as if he had. Xander and Riley stepped aside to let them pass when Buffy stopped and looked right at the soldier. "Riley, I'm Buffy, and I'm really sorry that we're getting to a really weird start here, but that's the Hellmouth for you. Before you start assuming that we're as disorganized as..." she stopped and looked around the room. "Okay, with the exception of Willow, we really are as disorganized as we look, but it works, and we always get the job done. Three years, apocalypse-free and counting. And just as soon as I can block out the military code of conduct from running through my head like a freight train because someone is worried about letting slip secret details which are still slipping, by the way, we might be able to work something out."
Buffy smiled at him, but Riley just looked shocked.
"Thank you," Buffy said with a smile at him before she headed for the door. Riley watched her leave, leaning heavily on Giles as she walked.
"That wasn't what I was expecting," he offered softly.
"Nope, the Buffster is... she's just the Buffster." Xander shrugged as he considered the impossibility of describing Buffy. "So, Ms. Calendar, it looks like Riley and I are on demon hunting duty. Just tell us where, and as soon as I call my overprotective roommate, we can go kick demon ass." Xander pulled out his cell phone and started dialing Angel's apartment.
"I'll call my team," Riley said as he pulled out his own cell phone.
"I guess we have a new member," Oz commented. Xander smiled at that. With things getting more and more awkward between him and his girls... and the Council and his girls... and pretty much the world and his girls, he wanted to think they had some good backup on their side, and Angel seemed to think that Riley wasn't bad for a human.
By the time Ms. Calendar had a location on the demon, Xander had hung up on Angel rather than listen to a parent-type lecture and two more soldiers had shown up. Graham Miller was quiet and kept to himself, nodding at the introductions. Forrest Gates was a little more interested in watching the group as though he was expecting someone to spontaneously grow fangs and spring at him. Although, that might just be possible with Oz who wasn't looking all that friendly.
"I have it. It's near Kingman's Bluff."
"There are caves out there," Willow said as she looked up from her computer where she was compiling a list of potential serial killers, and the list was turning out disturbingly long. "I bet it's in one of those deep caves."
"Shit," Gates said softly. Riley spared him a dirty look before going all military efficient.
"We'll stop by the house and pick up spelunking equipment. We'll need a fourth, unless you have experience with rappelling?" Riley asked as he looked at Xander hopefully.
"Hey, I was planning on going out there and just poking my head in caves until something tries to snap it off. Buffy's sick. We don't have time for fancy military stuff," Xander said.
"We need—"
"I'm going to Kingman's Bluff," Xander said firmly. "You can come or you can go play with your military toys. Ms. Calendar, may I borrow your car?"
She looked from Xander to the military trio and back again.
"Xander," Willow said softly in that worried voice that reminded him how often other people did worry about him because he did stuff to warrant worrying. She definitely did not want him going.
"Good luck," Oz said firmly.
Xander smiled at the other boy. "I'm all about the luck."
"Just don't wreck it. I've wrecked enough of my own cars, I don't need your help to wreck my insurance score," Ms. Calendar sighed as she tossed him the keys to her car.
"No wrecking, no getting killed and lots of luck. Got it," Xander said as he headed for the door. For one second, he thought he really was going to go it alone, and then footsteps came after him as the three soldiers followed.
"Any advice?" Riley asked as they stepped out into the afternoon sun.
"Don't get killed is a good one," Xander said as they headed for the faculty parking lot.
"This is fucking insane. Riley, we should get some backup," Gates insisted. Yep, Xander liked Riley, and he could even imagine calling the quiet guy, Graham Miller, by his first name and having a beer, but Forrest Gates seemed like a last name kinda guy to Xander.
"Funny, I thought you were the backup," Xander pointed out as he reached the car and unlocked it.
"And I thought you were a civilian kid," Gates snapped before he turned to Riley. "This is stupid. We're going into a situation with almost no intel and fucking swords?" Gates gestured toward his jacket where he had one of Giles' good swords tucked away.
"We're following local guides and local intel. Follow orders, soldier," Riley said, and that was not a friendly tone of voice. For a second the two soldiers stared each other down, but then Gates looked away with disgust. The funny thing was that Graham didn't even react. It was like he was used to these two. Xander just knew he'd be sucking Tums down like candy if he had to be around this much bitching all the time.
"Xander, I am worried about the swords. We're trained for knife fights, but not swords," Riley said as he claimed shotgun in Ms. Calendar's Honda. Xander slipped in behind the wheel and adjusted the seat as far back as he could while still reaching the pedals. Yep, it was petty, but Gates was right behind him, and Xander was not liking him at all.
"You'd better start training," Xander offered without much sympathy. "Bullets just piss most demons off. They bounce off a few demons, and bouncing bullets are kinda dangerous."
"Ricocheting," Gates muttered almost silently.
Graham finally spoke up. "What about our taser weapons? We can load the charge to run dangerously high."
"Yes, but then electricity is power." Xander started the car and headed for the highway. He was going to have to call Angel before he went into the fight, but he figured he'd hold off as long as he could so that the vamp didn't have quite as long to worry. It was a good twenty minutes out to Kingman's Bluff, and that was twenty minutes where Angel would be happier believing Xander was still at the library.
"So, don't the tasers work?" Graham asked.
"On some stuff, probably," Xander admitted. "They're probably going to work on more stuff than the guns with bullets, but some demons are really good at converting energy. So, some of those demons are going to suck up the taser's charge and get even stronger. Most things die when you cut their heads off, though. Not all, but most."
"And how do we know which demons can't be killed by decapitation?" Riley asked. It was kinda weird, them treating him like the demon expert when usually that was Giles.
"Hopefully you'll recognize the type of demon. Vampires, borg'dar, senih'D, lei-ach... they all go down for a good beheading. Things with brains are just a little easier to kill. The hard demons are the ones that are all ghostly or squishy or blobby. If the beheading doesn't work, you need to tell Giles or Willow or Ms. Calendar so they can look it up and tell you whether you need to cut the heart out or stab it in the eyes or something. Actually," Xander said after a second, "if beheading doesn't work right away, stabbing in the eyes is a close second and setting it on fire comes in third. I would say that setting a demon on fire was actually number one on the list, but then you have potential for accidentally burning the whole town down, which would be bad. I mean, Buffy burned down one little school gym trying to deal with a whole nest of vampires, like forty or fifty, and they still hold that against her.
"She took on fifty vampires? And lived?" Gates sounded like a doubting-Thomas.
"That would be why she burned down the gym. I don't think she could actually stake fifty of them without her arm falling off or something, but Buffy's big with the scary. She can do things that make you wonder if you shouldn't take up yoga, too. Well, until you try yoga. Then your back hurts for a week and you find you’ve sprained your wrist," Xander admitted.
"Captain," Gates said in that voice that made it so very clear that he was not happy.
"Stand down, soldier," Riley said just as unhappily. "Xander, what can you tell us about the group?"
The car jerked toward the curb as he looked over at Riley in surprise. Okay, he so did not want to be the one telling tales on the others.
"Xander, I understand that you have all been doing a difficult job. I am simply trying to assess the strengths and weaknesses and determine what personnel I need here. I'm not asking for anyone's secrets," Riley said quietly. Wow, maybe Buffy's mind reading had rubbed off on him. Then again, Xander's therapist had a bad habit of doing that same thing—of guessing exactly what Xander had in his head. And Riley was a psych major, so maybe he came by the creepy mind reading thing the old fashioned way.
He shrugged as he considered his answer for a minute. "Willow is the apprentice magic user under Ms. Calendar and total tech girl. You give her a computer and she can figure out more than you might expect. She's the one who does the nightly patrol schedule based off this program she wrote to identify who's most likely to rise as a vampire."
"You know where they're going to rise?" Graham asked, and he was sounding shocked, but not disbelieving.
Xander nodded. "Willow is genius-level smart."
"We have more than a few geniuses, and they never seemed to get shit done," Graham said with disgust.
"They had bad intel. That's why we're going local," Riley pointed out, and some of the tension in his body eased. Xander realized that the captain was worried about whether his men would follow him. Well, if that's what Riley wanted to know, Xander could throw the big wild card out right away.
"Oz is the tracker in the group since he's a werewolf."
"A werewolf?" Riley asked loudly at the same time Gates offered a "Fuck, no way."
"Hey, werewolf are human, too," Xander pointed out as he mentally wondered whether that had been totally and completely stupid. Yeah, Angel said that Riley would be good backup, but he didn't say Riley was smart or open-minded about people who were a little humanity-impaired. "He's not the only not-quite totally human on our side, either. Well, actually Clem is totally not human, but he's great for knowing who's moving where and who's looking to grab a little power. And a couple of the suckhouse vamps keep track of the local community. Master vampires looking to make a name usually cruise a few suckhouses and kill a few older vamps to make a name for themselves."
"Suckhouse vamps?" Graham asked when the car went deathly silent.
Xander hadn't ever stopped to consider how strange his life would look from the outside. It was just his life. He lived with demons and vampires and slayers and world-ending and werewolves and things that went bump in the night. But trying to explain these things… he realized he was sounding either insane or... nope, just insane.
"Xander, what's a suckhouse?" Riley asked in that calm tone of voice that Xander's therapist used.
Xander glared at the guy just to let him know that he was not falling for it. He was telling them because he wanted to, not because Riley had used his psychy powers. "Vampires have whatever flaws the humans had before leaving the body. So, if someone was a couch potato before dying, their vampire self isn't going to be out there running vampire marathons... not that there are... nevermind. The point is that some vampires just aren't into hunting. They live in these whorehouses and humans go there and pay to get bitten."
"Why?" Graham asked.
"Because they're freaks," was Gates' announcement. Xander tried really hard to not like people without reason, but he didn't like Gates and the guy just kept providing more and more reasons for the not liking.
"Because the bite is addictive," Xander said as he bit his tongue to keep from going into more detail than he should. He'd tried forgetting what he'd seen on that night with Angelus, but sometimes he couldn't forget the look on the humans' faces. When Angelus' fangs had gone in, they'd stiffened in orgasm and cried out. They'd thrashed and moaned and clutched at the monster that was taking their blood. Even the woman who'd died had gone with a smile.
"We didn't know that," Riley said softly.
"Well, usually the vamps just try to get as much blood as they can as fast as they can, so the bite is more about ripping through flesh, which is not really big with the pleasure, but when the vamps go slow... it's just... different."
"Is that why you're living with a vampire?" Gates asked.
"Gates, you are one second from going on report," Riley snapped. "When we get back, you will look up the nearest base with a cultural competence course."
"Yes, sir," Gates said formally.
No way was Xander letting that one slide, though. "Hey, I am a biting virgin here. My blood is for me and no one but me... well, except for when the hospital has a blood drive, but I do not let vampires bite me."
After seeing what biting led to, Xander really wasn't going to let vampires bite him. Sometimes during his intimate time with his hand, he thought about what it would have been like if one of his vamps had pushed him down on that hill instead of Faith. He remembered the look of absolute bliss on the faces of those humans in the suckhouse. He remembered when they woke up... how they still looked at Angel with this hunger like they wanted more. It was like watching a really cool kid smoke cigarettes and wondering whether he'd look that cool… if he'd like it. And having that image in his head, sometimes his imagination turned Faith's hands on him into Spike's hands or Angel's hands. He'd imagine them slipping fangs into him, and that was the very best reason why it was not going to happen. Nope, an addiction to chocolate was as adventurous as Xander was feeling.
"So, are you having sex with him?" Graham asked.
"Miller!" Riley snapped. He was actually way snappier than Xander had expected, especially since Graham didn't sound pissy about the question.
"Nope," Xander answered. "I was dating a cheerleader, but then one bad thing led to another and she decided that I was too young for her even though I’m six months older than she is, so I have been benched for the foreseeable future. And that probably won't change until I leave high school and meet people who don't think I'm the big goober who hangs on the edges of all the cool groups."
"A goober?" Riley nearly choked.
"Yep. The general consensus at school is that I am cool-adjacent without ever being cool, but then when girls emasculate you on a regular basis, you just get used to that rep." Xander knew that others saw him as the sidekick, and at one point that had really bugged him. Now, it just didn't seem like such a big deal. Being the sidekick meant that you were helping people do the right thing, and he knew that he made a difference, even if his power was more about dragging Angel into a church or keeping Spike from eating Riley. Those were important differences. Riley was probably being so nice to him because he'd kept Spike from eating the 'boxed lunch' in the cage.
But people at school didn't see the important stuff he did. Mostly they saw him trip or get saved by Buffy or emasculated by Cordelia.
"I mean, I'm not exactly good with the fighting, not when compared to the others, and I really suck at the schoolwork. At least, I usually do. When I get really stuck, this guy I know is good at getting me to understand pretty much anything, even over the phone. But that's because he explains it in terms of demons and demon fighting and all that. He actually taught me solubility by having me try to get different kinds of demon snot out of my clothes. So, I'm teachable, but not smart and decent in a fight, but not good, and in high school, that kind of averageness is not high on the social scale."
"You're an average fighter?" Graham asked with something that sounded like disbelief in his voice. "Man, I think my ego just took a serious hit."
Riley smiled. "You and me both. If we're going to work out of Sunnydale, we're going to have to train a little harder if we don't want to end up being average."
"We're going to have to train *a lot* harder," Graham said. "If I'd had three vamps target me, my first, second and third plans would have included retreat."
"Oh shit," Xander cursed. "I need to call Angel. He has this rule about me not fighting demons without telling him where I'm going. He's a mother hen. I sometimes think he clucks in his sleep," Xander said dramatically. Riley and Graham actually laughed. Xander checked in the mirror, and Gates still looked like he was hating every second of this, but hopefully he wouldn't be one of the people Riley kept around. He certainly didn't seem to be on Riley's good-list right now.
Xander fumbled at his phone and hit redial.
"Boyo, you had better tell me you're na at the cliffs yet," the voice on the other end answered before the first ring.
"Geez, lighten up. I'm on the highway. Um... sorta," Xander said as he pulled off at their exit. The caves were technically in Sunnydale, but so far from the town center that Buffy never actually patrolled here, so Xander wasn't exactly sure of the best place to start.
"Which exit?" Angel demanded.
"114," Xander said as he slowed the car around the curve.
"Pull off and wait for me."
"Um, newsflash, the sun won't be going down for another three or four hours, and we're on a clock here."
"Xander," Angel said slowly, "I will be there in less than five minutes, and you will wait for me, or I will give in to my almost overwhelming need to put you over my knee and spank you," Angel growled. Then the phone just went dead.
"Um," Xander cleared his throat, "I think we're going to just pull off here and wait for a minute." Riley looked at him funny, but no one commented as Xander pulled the car to the side and switched the engine off. Oh yeah, Angel was furious. The Irish accent usually came right before the beating of Spike, but this time, Xander was getting to deal with Angel all by himself. And if Angel had to buy another one of those expensive sun-proofing spells, his mood was so not going to be any good. Angel got cranky about Xander turning lights off and the cost of soda, so sun-proofing spells were definitely going to make him irritable.
It didn't take long at all before Angel's convertible was crunching over the gravel at the side of the road and parking behind Ms. Calendar's car. Xander got out, and met Angel who had on his stone-faced expressionless face, which pretty much meant that he was trying to not look furious.
"I was going to call you before going into the caves," Xander said before Angel had even closed the distance between them. Angel stopped a half step away from him, and Xander could see him clench his fists.
Riley had gotten out of his car and was watching Angel with a guarded expression. "Mr. Giles had planned to kill the demon himself, so I assume we can handle it."
"So, you take Xander into a situation where you're making assumptions?" Angel asked in a dangerously calm tone of voice. He reached out and caught Xander by the arm, holding on tight enough that Xander knew he was going to have bruises tomorrow.
Riley seemed to have figured out Angel's moods a lot faster than Xander had, though. For the longest time, Xander thought Angel didn't have emotions, but from the alarmed look on Riley's face, he knew Angel was furious with him.
"No, I planned to go back to the house, collect rock climbing equipment, additional weapons, supplies and personnel."
Angel raised his eyebrows.
"I changed my plans when Xander started leaving the library in order to come after the demon by himself."
Xander flinched and made a mental note to put hair remover in Riley's shampoo. He'd have to fight his way past Army guys and guards, but it'd be worth it. Reluctantly, Xander looked up, and Angel was staring down at him with yellow eyes. "Buffy really needs that heart," Xander defended himself. Angel closed his eyes, and Xander could almost see him mouth the words as he counted in some demon language in order to try and get his temper back under control. Slowly, Angel eased up his grip on Xander's arm and took several deep breaths.
"Finn," Angel said, his voice still dangerously quiet. "This is not a particularly dangerous demon, although you will no doubt have trouble since it will require a sword to kill it. But if you're going to backup Buffy, you need to adjust to the situation. Xander and I will accompany you, but we will only pull you out of the way if one of you is injured, and we will only kill the demon if you fail." Angel turned and started pulling Xander back toward his convertible so fast that Xander scrambled to keep his feet under him.
"Sir!" Riley called out. Angel stopped and looked back. "Xander still has the keys and I'm not sure where we're going."
For a second, Angel stared at the soldier, and if Buffy's life weren't in danger, Xander thought he would probably tell Riley to figure it out for himself. Instead, Angel held out his hand imperiously, and Xander quickly fished the keys out of his pocket and handed them over. Angel threw them at Riley. "Follow us," Angel said as he turned back toward the car.
Xander didn't argue, not even when Angel refused to let him go long enough to let him walk around to the passenger side. Instead, Angel opened the driver's door and sort of shoved Xander across the seat before he got in himself.
"I can't believe you would do this," Angel said angrily as he pulled away from the curb fast enough to send gravel flying behind him. Xander flinched at the sound of tinny little pings as the pebbles bounced off Ms. Calendar's car as they passed the soldiers. Riley was driving now with Graham up front.
"We hunt demons all the time," Xander tried pointing out very reasonably.
"With me, with Spike, with Faith or Buffy," Angel snapped.
"And now Riley is part of the merry band."
"No, he's not. He's trying to prove himself, but right now, he's just one more human who could end up getting eaten by something bigger than he is tomorrow. Do you have any idea how easily I captured him?" Angel demanded. He glanced over, and Xander saw the yellow of his eyes reflecting his anger.
"He wasn't expecting a vampire to be out during the day. It's a little surprising to me, too," Xander pointed out. Angel really did look different in the sun. His pale skin looked a little unhealthy, but he also looked larger, more intimidating, maybe because that was a seriously intimidating look on his face and there were no shadows to hide any corner of the unhappy. Nope, every unhappy wrinkle and twitch was clearly highlighted as the sun bathed him with light.
"A dozen different demons can disguise themselves as humans; a half-dozen can go out in the sun. And when all else fails, demons can just hire humans to do their work for them."
"If he's such a bad backup, why did you tell the general he'd be good backup for Buffy?" Xander demanded. If this guy was incompetent, Xander didn't want him near the girls. Riley and Wesley could go off and do the demon thing together if they both sucked.
Angel sighed. "It's not that he's that bad."
"That's not what you said two seconds ago."
"They'll learn. With Buffy and Giles to watch out for them, they'll adapt. They aren't ready to back you up in a fight."
"Because I'm not good enough to take care of myself," Xander finished for him. The words didn't even hurt anymore. Xander had long ago embraced that his powers lay in distraction and helping.
"Because you would have to take care of them. Xander, you're a better fighter than any of those three."
"Okay, the sun is obviously baking your brain," Xander laughed.
Angel sighed and reached over to rest a palm on Xander's leg. It felt oddly warm, as if Angel's skin carried the warmth of the sun in it.
"Xander, you are as good a fighter as any full human will ever learn to be. They aren't at your level, and if you fight with them, you're going to expect them to hit as hard as a vampire or slayer. You're going to see them go down, and then assume they'll be back up in time to cover you as you go in for an attack. Xander, every person you fight with has supernatural powers. You can't judge humans by that standard."
Xander stared at the road as he thought about that. Riley and Graham had joked, sure, but they couldn't be that bad, could they? Soldiers were fighters. Covert soldiers who got undercover missions were awesome soldiers. And officers who commanded covert soldiers on missions—officers like Riley—were scary great fighters. "I couldn't... I mean, they're all best of the best and be all you can be."
Angel sighed again, and his eyes finally faded to brown. "They are the best of humans. Xander, you compare yourself with demons and slayers. You're our weakest fighter only because your body can't physically do more than you've already pushed it to do. Once they start patrolling with Buffy and me, they'll have to learn to push themselves as hard as you do, but until then, you aren't to go out with them."
"Maybe..."
"No," Angel growled, the yellow back in his eyes. "Xander, you have to understand how dangerous this is."
"They're not going to get me killed."
"No, you're going to get them killed," Angel snapped. He held up his hand with that same ugly ring from the night when Xander had found Riley in the cage. "This is why I can walk in the sun. It's a ring that most of the demonic world thinks is a myth. When I got the call from Oz that you were heading out here, Spike and I fought over this ring. Most of the time, Spike isn't all that interested in winning—today he was, and in close quarters in that apartment, he nearly did. I can't use my extra weight and reach if I don't have room to maneuver."
"Shit," Xander breathed. He didn't even want to think what the apartment looked like.
"If Spike had won, those three would be dead right now," Angel said, and Xander felt cold rush through him.
"He wouldn't—"
"He would," Angel cut him off. "He wanted to kill Wesley, but he didn't because Faith took the dominant role in their relationship, so when she told him to back off, he did. Spike sees himself as dominant over you, which means he has rights and responsibilities. If I'm there, I can control his demon, but if he'd gotten this ring, he would have been out here killing those three for putting you in harm's way, and they wouldn't have had time to explain that you were the one putting yourself at risk."
"I didn't—" Xander just stopped. Today was supposed to be about Riley getting his world redefined. Maybe Buffy would get a little redefining because suddenly she wouldn't be alone anymore. She'd have support. Maybe she'd even have money to fix the radios or buy new swords because she was tough on the equipment. Xander had definitely not scheduled himself for any new insights and revelations. "I know he'd kill someone who threatened me, but he'd kill Riley?" Xander asked quietly.
"I'm hoping we get home before dark so I can talk to him and he can see you're safe before he can get out of the apartment building or he still may try," Angel said with a grimace. "Xander, years ago I spent a lot of time trying to break William because I hated that his need to love people survived in his demon. In some ways, I tortured him as badly as I ever tortured Dru, but he was stronger than she had been. He never changed; he just learned to hide it from me. And now, he loves you. In Spike's case, loving someone means obsessing over them, killing for them, changing for them. That's what he's doing for you... it's what he's doing for me. It's what he's always done. If he had understood Faith— if I had understood her well enough to explain it to him— he would have done anything to help her feel safe and wanted."
Angel pulled off the road and onto a dirt path that led to the top of the cliffs. "Xander, if you put yourself in danger, you'll put Spike in a position where he feels like he has to kill to protect you. You need to understand that. And you need to understand one other thing: if he had a choice between saving the two of us or saving the rest of the world, he would let the whole world burn to save us. He'd set fire to it himself if he needed to. William the poet felt love so deeply that William the vampire doesn't know how to survive without it." Angel stopped the car and looked over at Xander.
For a second, Xander didn't even breathe. It was like knowing you were sitting on a bomb and that if you did something stupid, the bomb was going to go off. Yeah, he'd known that Spike loved Angel, that wasn't exactly a secret, but Xander had always thought that Spike's feelings for him were filtered through Angel, like Xander was Angel's favorite toy or something.
"Just... be careful?" Angel asked. Xander nodded. "Okay, so let's go watch the soldiers get knocked around a little before we rescue them," he said wearily as he got out of the car. "You know, if Giles had just called me earlier, I could have taken care of this on my own with a lot less fuss."
Riley pulled up behind Angel, and the three soldiers got out of the car. Angel started walking toward the cliff, and Xander could see him sniff the air for a second. He turned to look over his shoulder. "Unless you are knocked out or start bleeding from an artery, you'd better be willing to pick yourself up and get back into the fight," Angel warned them as he pulled his sword. Xander pulled out his own cinquedea.
"We can handle ourselves," Riley said confidently. Xander wondered if he had sounded that confident when he'd gone into his first major battle with the forces of darkness. He doubted it. It was hard to think that everyone here thought he was a better fighter than these three.
"Just make sure you keep your fangs to yourself," Gates said darkly.
Angel flashed into gameface, and Gates clutched his sword tighter.
"You know," Xander said, remembering a lesson Spike had taught him long ago, "if you hold your sword too tight, you cut off circulation to your fingers and then you're pretty much a sitting target."
"Good to know. I'll pass that advice on to whichever soldiers get posted here," Riley sounded honestly grateful for the advice even as he gave Gates a cold look. Angel ignored them all as he started toward the cliff, a hand on Xander's back guiding him. All Xander could think was that it was funny the way life handed you brain-changing moments when you least expected it.
In this universe, Xander challenged Angel right up front--called him a pedophile to his face. And from there, everything changed.Previous parts: HERE
Summary: So, just how well will Riley and his team handle the weirdness that his Buffy's life.
Warnings: None
Part Twenty Six: Powerful Beyond Measure
- “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. --Nelson Mandela
Xander stopped outside the school and chewed his lip. He felt like he was bringing a date home to meet the parents, not that he took people home to meet the parentals or that his dad had a home other than the street corner and a bottle of gin. But Angel had set this little meet up, and it was like if Riley fucked this up, Angel was going to look bad, and Xander wanted no part of making Angel look bad.
He had this dreamworld where both halves of his life got along—the half with Buffy and Willow that was quickly looking like his past *and* the half with Angel and Spike that was looking like his future. It was a wild and implausible dream, but he had a right to hope. And if this blew up in their faces, Giles and Buffy were so blaming Angel for going and doing the big government thing without even discussing it. Xander was the first to admit that sometimes Angel needed a swift kick in the ass for going off on his own, but sometimes Angel's crazy plans worked. He just really didn't want this to be one of Angel's spectacular failures because pulling the government in was more than a little crazy.
Xander turned to the soldier standing next to him. "When you meet Buffy, just do not go saying anything that might imply that she's short... or little in any way. And you might avoid words like girly. There's something really wrong about a big bad demon hunter looking like a blonde ditz, but if the words blonde or ditz cross your lips, you will be trying to find your body parts," Xander warned Riley. But then Riley looked a little too worried. "And I meant that totally metaphorically. She isn't into breaking people... much. There was this guy, but he was saying stuff... and I think I'm just stopping now. I'm stopping right after I point out that Percy West is whole and unbroken and only forever humiliated by a public slapdown where a girl shoved him in a toilet, and he deserved everything he got."
"A toilet?" Riley was looking even more with the worried. The fact was that Riley made him nervous, and nervous him babbled. Riley was representing the whole federal government here. The general was all onboard with the Buffy-plan, but if Buffy wasn't on board with the Buffy-plan, there would definitely be less plan-iness and more weirdness.
Xander stopped on the steps of the school and wondered again exactly how he had ended up volunteering to make the introductions. Actually, he was pretty sure he hadn't volunteered, but somehow he'd ended up looking all volunteery. But now Riley was looking all worried, which was not exactly going to make a good impression, and Giles was pretty much already unimpressed. Any more unimpressing and he was so going to veto this whole idea. Xander sighed and sent up a silent prayer that he wouldn't screw this all up because without the Council, Buffy needed backup. Actually, she probably needed it even with the Council because those guys were about as useful as a parent on prom night.
"Look, Percy did the whole more-than-just-kiss and tell on Buffy, and he was her first, and badness followed, and I so should not have told you that story, so just forget it. The point I was trying to make was that Buffy doesn't need someone looking at her and doing the judging thing. I know you were weirdly impressed with the seven vamps the other night..."
"Because it was impressive. When the trio attacked, I really thought you were going to get hurt," Riley hurried to assure him.
"And I would have. There was hurting on the horizon, which is why Angel had to go sailing in and take one of them out," Xander pointed out. "Although really he should get credit for two because he was holding that one when I staked him." Xander had gotten five vamps without too much trouble, even though it'd taken him three stabs before he hit the heart on number four, but the last one of the night, which had turned out to be the last three, had just been too much.
"Anyone would have needed backup. But you fought well," Riley disagreed.
"You know, my self-image is centered on being comic relief and moral center and backup guy, and you're screwing with my head with the whole calling me a fighter thing. Keep it up and I'm siccing my therapist on you for giving me identity issues," Xander complained as he pushed open the double doors into the main hall. You'd think someone would lock the school after hours, but maybe they'd just gotten tired of replacing locks and had just given up.
"You go to therapy?" Riley looked at him strangely.
"Hey, there is nothing wrong with therapy, Bub!" Xander insisted as he poked a finger in Riley's direction. He'd forgotten that most people didn't see therapy as big with the healthy. Wesley had looked at him with pity and anxiety the first time one of the girls said something.
"Of course not," Riley quickly agreed. "I have a degree in psychology and I'm working on my masters, and therapy is required for the unit. A human being can't fight demons straight out of nightmares without dealing with the psychological impact. I'm just surprised. Most people avoid therapy."
"Oh, I totally would have avoided if I could. I would have been avoidy until my dying day, only Angel grabbed me by the back of the neck and dragged me into the office. And then my first therapist moved, and I was all for quitting, but Angel made me go to the new therapist. Angel’s just a giant mother hen with poofy hair. Oh, and my therapist turns blue when you tell her things that make her all shocky, by the way."
Riley got another of those weird faces, like he couldn't quite decide how he was supposed to react to that, but then they had kinda rearranged Riley's world lately. Xander remembered how that felt. "You know. Angel's not the only non-vampy vamp. I mean, there are suckhouse vamps, and they're more about just staying out of the way and then there are the minions that are rising around here, and they're all stupid and grrrrr and running straight at your stake like one of those stupid movie-mummies from the fifties and then there are master vampires who are all strategy and doom and destruction. We even had a vamp who kept trying to raise money. He set up a Slayerfest that sold tickets for bounty hunters who wanted intel on the slayers so they could hunt them. Vamps come in all sorts of flavors. One even helped us close the hellmouth, no soul attached, because he likes the world the way it is. So, stereotyping vamps is not really with the open-mindedness."
Riley still didn't look convinced, but Xander figured he'd give the guy time to adjust. Besides, Riley was about to meet the slayer gang, and that was going to redefine a whole bunch more of those rules in his head.
"If I don't have a chance to see your vampire again, thank him for requesting me for this post," Riley said stiffly as they turned the corner and the library door came into sight. Riley got all weirdly stiff when people started talking about goodish demons, but hopefully he'd get over it. If not, Xander could always invite him for an LA trip to meet the blue therapist and spiny secretary and green lounge singer. That would shake his world up good.
"No thanks needed," Xander shrugged. "If Angel says you're all cool-under-fire guy and the right one to backup Buffy, he meant it. He isn't big for saying things he doesn't mean. And when he does lie, he gets this scrunchy look like his whole face is trying to move into the middle all at once. It's not pretty," Xander said with a shudder. "So, are you ready to meet the gang?"
Xander pushed the doors to the library open and started to greet everyone with his usual flair. The words caught in his throat at the chaos he found inside.
"Listen, there's a killer in the cafeteria," Buffy was saying as she sat on the edge of the table and everyone sort of gathered around her.
"Okay, this is different," Xander said as he edged into the room. Riley stepped up to his side and considered the gathered group. Willow looked downright panicked, and even Oz looked like he was working on a facial expression. Wesley was clutching a book and Ms. Calendar and Giles were presenting that united front of calmness they did when things got really bad.
"Someone was thinking about it!" Buffy insisted when no one answered her. They were all too busy trading concerned looks with each other. "They thought, 'This time tomorrow, I'll kill you all.' They were right in the cafeteria. We have to find them." She started getting off the table and Giles caught her arm to keep her from falling down.
"Did you, uh, recognize a voice?" Giles asked.
"No."
"Boy or girl?" Willow was going right into research mode, Xander knew that face. Okay, so something big had been with the happening.
"Hey guys, what's up?" Xander asked the crowd. He stepped in and Riley walked silently at his side. This was actually kinda weird because Xander was supposed to be providing the introductions, but he was definitely feeling like an outsider.
"Buffy can read minds," Willow answered.
"And it's not as much fun as it sounds," Buffy agreed. "There's someone in the cafeteria thinking about how everyone is going to be dead tomorrow."
"See, I've been saying for years that the lunch lady's gonna do us all in with that Mulligan Stew," Xander tried joking. He got a few glares. "And that was probably inappropriate humor given the circumstances," he quickly added. "Buff, are you sure that the person with the homicidal thoughts meant it? I mean, who hasn't had a thought or two that strayed to the land of inappropriate violence? Back before he came out of the closet, Larry inspired me to have all sorts of fantasies about murdering the football team, although now I'm old enough to admit that my anger may have been fueled by a self-esteem in total freefall."
"I know the difference. He... she... whoever, they meant it. They're gonna do it." Buffy crossed her arms in a move that just dared Xander to disagree with her, and he was not idiot enough to go there. "And I am not daring you to do anything," Buffy insisted crossly.
"Okay, that's just slightly freaky," Xander said with a frown. How was he supposed to keep from thinking things? And oh shit, he'd told Riley about Percy and that was so not a smart thing for him—
"You what!?" Buffy yelped.
"What? What?" Willow asked as she looked around wildly.
"He told new guy about West." Buffy pointed an angry finger at Riley, and Riley looked ready to run for the hills. That might actually be a smart thing to do.
"I didn't mean to. I just babbled," Xander defended himself.
"As interesting as this is, we do have a problem to focus on. Buffy, perhaps you should go home? I can take you," Giles offered.
Ms. Calendar nodded in agreement, which was weird because they were usually much more for disagreeing and then getting that funny look that meant they were having sex after disagreeing.
"Ick!" Buffy complained. "There will be no thoughts of Giles sex!"
Giles gave Ms. Calendar a withering glare. "I'm not!" she argued, her hands held up. "I was thinking about doing a shielding spell to try and block some of the thoughts invading Buffy."
"Thanks for the support there, Giles. I appreciate knowing that I might go crazy if you don't." Buffy crossed her arms and glared at Giles.
"Is anyone still kinda creeped out by how she answers people who haven't talked?" Willow asked quietly.
"Me," Oz answered with a thoughtful nod.
"Actually, I was going to suggest that a better use of your magics might include tracking the second demon so we could retrieve the heart for Buffy to consume." Giles looked over at Xander and Riley... finally. "I'm afraid that this is a particularly bad time. Buffy has been infected by a demonic power, and we need to focus on this. Jenny, if you would track the demon, perhaps Wesley and I can try and track it to its lair."
"I could come. I have the fire spell down," Willow offered.
"Yes, I appreciate the offer, but we need to retrieve the heart, not incinerate it. Perhaps next time?" Giles suggested. Xander watched as Willow shrank back just a little bit. Geez, was she so insecure that she needed to be in on every mission? Xander wondered why he hadn't ever noticed that before, but ever since the whole dirty dancing incident at homecoming, he'd tried to avoid Willow. Between her stammering and Oz's growling, it wasn't really all that comfortable. In fact, in the last five months, he could count on one hand the number of times he'd been in a room with Willow. Buffy looked over at him strangely.
"Willow," she said, "we have until lunch tomorrow to figure out who the killer is, and I just can't be around people. I mean, I love you guys, but you're giving me a headache just being near. Could you track down any suspects? And yeah, I know old optimist over there thinks that everyone wants to blow up his school, but seriously, maybe we could narrow that down to a list of people I could actually investigate?"
"I can do that. I could check the FBI for mass-murderer profiles. See if maybe we can rule some people out. I'll get on that."
"Someone is going to commit mass murder?" Riley asked, speaking for the first time. He might not be Oz level of laconic, but he wasn't exactly a chatty Kathy, either.
"Right now, I am rather more concerned about the second demon and stopping this power before Buffy falls into a coma. Jenny, could you please track that second demon while I take Buffy home? Wesley, you're in charge of weapons."
"Angel could do it if you could wait until after nightfall, not to suggest that you and Wesley can't handle one little demon," Xander quickly added. He glanced over at Wesley again. "But Angel would be more than happy to do it after dark. Just give him the name of the demon and the body part you'd like ripped out."
Giles looked over at Wesley, and that was not a complimentary expression. Buffy actually flinched and looked a little pale as she grabbed for the edge of the table. "As much as I would love to leave this for Angel, I don't think we can wait. Wesley and I will simply have to handle it," Giles said harshly. Wesley didn't even answer, but his back was stiff and Xander could almost feel the misery leaking out of him, which might explain the pained expression on Buffy's face.
"Perhaps Xander should..." Riley started saying. Buffy looked at him in shock, but then, who knew what kind of weird military stuff she was getting from him.
"I hardly think Xander needs to be in the middle of this," Giles quickly cut him off. Then Giles looked at Wesley again. "Then again, perhaps Xander might come along as backup."
"I was going to suggest that Xander and I could hunt this demon. I have two men I utterly trust still in town who could back us up. If this is a demon you feel confident taking on with..." Riley glanced over at Wesley... "minimal backup, then four of us should be able to handle it."
Xander almost felt bad for Wesley. Yep, he was a schmuck and an idiot, but the new guy who'd been here for all of five minutes had already sized him up and relegated him to minimal-land. As a long time resident and only recent emigrant from the land of being minimal, Xander had to feel a little Wesley-sympathy. God he was sick in the head because he used to be way better at holding a grudge. His grudge reflex was way way rusty these days. Too much therapy.
"While I appreciate the offer—" Giles started.
"Let him," Buffy interrupted. Giles looked over at her in surprise.
Buffy looked about ready to cry with pain, but she looked firm at the same time, and Xander couldn't quite figure out how she managed that set of facial expressions. "I can't shut it out Giles. It's like this invasion of my head. It's like there're these strangers walking around in there. It's just a... Look at this, I can't even be around people anymore. Not that they're really clamoring to be near me anyway. Even you. I really need to go home."
"I'll take you," Giles immediately offered as he stepped to her side. "I'll be back as soon as I can," Giles told the rest of them as he slipped an arm around Buffy's waist.
"Xander and Riley will handle the demon hunt, okay?" Buffy asked. Giles didn't answer, but Buffy nodded as if he had. Xander and Riley stepped aside to let them pass when Buffy stopped and looked right at the soldier. "Riley, I'm Buffy, and I'm really sorry that we're getting to a really weird start here, but that's the Hellmouth for you. Before you start assuming that we're as disorganized as..." she stopped and looked around the room. "Okay, with the exception of Willow, we really are as disorganized as we look, but it works, and we always get the job done. Three years, apocalypse-free and counting. And just as soon as I can block out the military code of conduct from running through my head like a freight train because someone is worried about letting slip secret details which are still slipping, by the way, we might be able to work something out."
Buffy smiled at him, but Riley just looked shocked.
"Thank you," Buffy said with a smile at him before she headed for the door. Riley watched her leave, leaning heavily on Giles as she walked.
"That wasn't what I was expecting," he offered softly.
"Nope, the Buffster is... she's just the Buffster." Xander shrugged as he considered the impossibility of describing Buffy. "So, Ms. Calendar, it looks like Riley and I are on demon hunting duty. Just tell us where, and as soon as I call my overprotective roommate, we can go kick demon ass." Xander pulled out his cell phone and started dialing Angel's apartment.
"I'll call my team," Riley said as he pulled out his own cell phone.
"I guess we have a new member," Oz commented. Xander smiled at that. With things getting more and more awkward between him and his girls... and the Council and his girls... and pretty much the world and his girls, he wanted to think they had some good backup on their side, and Angel seemed to think that Riley wasn't bad for a human.
By the time Ms. Calendar had a location on the demon, Xander had hung up on Angel rather than listen to a parent-type lecture and two more soldiers had shown up. Graham Miller was quiet and kept to himself, nodding at the introductions. Forrest Gates was a little more interested in watching the group as though he was expecting someone to spontaneously grow fangs and spring at him. Although, that might just be possible with Oz who wasn't looking all that friendly.
"I have it. It's near Kingman's Bluff."
"There are caves out there," Willow said as she looked up from her computer where she was compiling a list of potential serial killers, and the list was turning out disturbingly long. "I bet it's in one of those deep caves."
"Shit," Gates said softly. Riley spared him a dirty look before going all military efficient.
"We'll stop by the house and pick up spelunking equipment. We'll need a fourth, unless you have experience with rappelling?" Riley asked as he looked at Xander hopefully.
"Hey, I was planning on going out there and just poking my head in caves until something tries to snap it off. Buffy's sick. We don't have time for fancy military stuff," Xander said.
"We need—"
"I'm going to Kingman's Bluff," Xander said firmly. "You can come or you can go play with your military toys. Ms. Calendar, may I borrow your car?"
She looked from Xander to the military trio and back again.
"Xander," Willow said softly in that worried voice that reminded him how often other people did worry about him because he did stuff to warrant worrying. She definitely did not want him going.
"Good luck," Oz said firmly.
Xander smiled at the other boy. "I'm all about the luck."
"Just don't wreck it. I've wrecked enough of my own cars, I don't need your help to wreck my insurance score," Ms. Calendar sighed as she tossed him the keys to her car.
"No wrecking, no getting killed and lots of luck. Got it," Xander said as he headed for the door. For one second, he thought he really was going to go it alone, and then footsteps came after him as the three soldiers followed.
"Any advice?" Riley asked as they stepped out into the afternoon sun.
"Don't get killed is a good one," Xander said as they headed for the faculty parking lot.
"This is fucking insane. Riley, we should get some backup," Gates insisted. Yep, Xander liked Riley, and he could even imagine calling the quiet guy, Graham Miller, by his first name and having a beer, but Forrest Gates seemed like a last name kinda guy to Xander.
"Funny, I thought you were the backup," Xander pointed out as he reached the car and unlocked it.
"And I thought you were a civilian kid," Gates snapped before he turned to Riley. "This is stupid. We're going into a situation with almost no intel and fucking swords?" Gates gestured toward his jacket where he had one of Giles' good swords tucked away.
"We're following local guides and local intel. Follow orders, soldier," Riley said, and that was not a friendly tone of voice. For a second the two soldiers stared each other down, but then Gates looked away with disgust. The funny thing was that Graham didn't even react. It was like he was used to these two. Xander just knew he'd be sucking Tums down like candy if he had to be around this much bitching all the time.
"Xander, I am worried about the swords. We're trained for knife fights, but not swords," Riley said as he claimed shotgun in Ms. Calendar's Honda. Xander slipped in behind the wheel and adjusted the seat as far back as he could while still reaching the pedals. Yep, it was petty, but Gates was right behind him, and Xander was not liking him at all.
"You'd better start training," Xander offered without much sympathy. "Bullets just piss most demons off. They bounce off a few demons, and bouncing bullets are kinda dangerous."
"Ricocheting," Gates muttered almost silently.
Graham finally spoke up. "What about our taser weapons? We can load the charge to run dangerously high."
"Yes, but then electricity is power." Xander started the car and headed for the highway. He was going to have to call Angel before he went into the fight, but he figured he'd hold off as long as he could so that the vamp didn't have quite as long to worry. It was a good twenty minutes out to Kingman's Bluff, and that was twenty minutes where Angel would be happier believing Xander was still at the library.
"So, don't the tasers work?" Graham asked.
"On some stuff, probably," Xander admitted. "They're probably going to work on more stuff than the guns with bullets, but some demons are really good at converting energy. So, some of those demons are going to suck up the taser's charge and get even stronger. Most things die when you cut their heads off, though. Not all, but most."
"And how do we know which demons can't be killed by decapitation?" Riley asked. It was kinda weird, them treating him like the demon expert when usually that was Giles.
"Hopefully you'll recognize the type of demon. Vampires, borg'dar, senih'D, lei-ach... they all go down for a good beheading. Things with brains are just a little easier to kill. The hard demons are the ones that are all ghostly or squishy or blobby. If the beheading doesn't work, you need to tell Giles or Willow or Ms. Calendar so they can look it up and tell you whether you need to cut the heart out or stab it in the eyes or something. Actually," Xander said after a second, "if beheading doesn't work right away, stabbing in the eyes is a close second and setting it on fire comes in third. I would say that setting a demon on fire was actually number one on the list, but then you have potential for accidentally burning the whole town down, which would be bad. I mean, Buffy burned down one little school gym trying to deal with a whole nest of vampires, like forty or fifty, and they still hold that against her.
"She took on fifty vampires? And lived?" Gates sounded like a doubting-Thomas.
"That would be why she burned down the gym. I don't think she could actually stake fifty of them without her arm falling off or something, but Buffy's big with the scary. She can do things that make you wonder if you shouldn't take up yoga, too. Well, until you try yoga. Then your back hurts for a week and you find you’ve sprained your wrist," Xander admitted.
"Captain," Gates said in that voice that made it so very clear that he was not happy.
"Stand down, soldier," Riley said just as unhappily. "Xander, what can you tell us about the group?"
The car jerked toward the curb as he looked over at Riley in surprise. Okay, he so did not want to be the one telling tales on the others.
"Xander, I understand that you have all been doing a difficult job. I am simply trying to assess the strengths and weaknesses and determine what personnel I need here. I'm not asking for anyone's secrets," Riley said quietly. Wow, maybe Buffy's mind reading had rubbed off on him. Then again, Xander's therapist had a bad habit of doing that same thing—of guessing exactly what Xander had in his head. And Riley was a psych major, so maybe he came by the creepy mind reading thing the old fashioned way.
He shrugged as he considered his answer for a minute. "Willow is the apprentice magic user under Ms. Calendar and total tech girl. You give her a computer and she can figure out more than you might expect. She's the one who does the nightly patrol schedule based off this program she wrote to identify who's most likely to rise as a vampire."
"You know where they're going to rise?" Graham asked, and he was sounding shocked, but not disbelieving.
Xander nodded. "Willow is genius-level smart."
"We have more than a few geniuses, and they never seemed to get shit done," Graham said with disgust.
"They had bad intel. That's why we're going local," Riley pointed out, and some of the tension in his body eased. Xander realized that the captain was worried about whether his men would follow him. Well, if that's what Riley wanted to know, Xander could throw the big wild card out right away.
"Oz is the tracker in the group since he's a werewolf."
"A werewolf?" Riley asked loudly at the same time Gates offered a "Fuck, no way."
"Hey, werewolf are human, too," Xander pointed out as he mentally wondered whether that had been totally and completely stupid. Yeah, Angel said that Riley would be good backup, but he didn't say Riley was smart or open-minded about people who were a little humanity-impaired. "He's not the only not-quite totally human on our side, either. Well, actually Clem is totally not human, but he's great for knowing who's moving where and who's looking to grab a little power. And a couple of the suckhouse vamps keep track of the local community. Master vampires looking to make a name usually cruise a few suckhouses and kill a few older vamps to make a name for themselves."
"Suckhouse vamps?" Graham asked when the car went deathly silent.
Xander hadn't ever stopped to consider how strange his life would look from the outside. It was just his life. He lived with demons and vampires and slayers and world-ending and werewolves and things that went bump in the night. But trying to explain these things… he realized he was sounding either insane or... nope, just insane.
"Xander, what's a suckhouse?" Riley asked in that calm tone of voice that Xander's therapist used.
Xander glared at the guy just to let him know that he was not falling for it. He was telling them because he wanted to, not because Riley had used his psychy powers. "Vampires have whatever flaws the humans had before leaving the body. So, if someone was a couch potato before dying, their vampire self isn't going to be out there running vampire marathons... not that there are... nevermind. The point is that some vampires just aren't into hunting. They live in these whorehouses and humans go there and pay to get bitten."
"Why?" Graham asked.
"Because they're freaks," was Gates' announcement. Xander tried really hard to not like people without reason, but he didn't like Gates and the guy just kept providing more and more reasons for the not liking.
"Because the bite is addictive," Xander said as he bit his tongue to keep from going into more detail than he should. He'd tried forgetting what he'd seen on that night with Angelus, but sometimes he couldn't forget the look on the humans' faces. When Angelus' fangs had gone in, they'd stiffened in orgasm and cried out. They'd thrashed and moaned and clutched at the monster that was taking their blood. Even the woman who'd died had gone with a smile.
"We didn't know that," Riley said softly.
"Well, usually the vamps just try to get as much blood as they can as fast as they can, so the bite is more about ripping through flesh, which is not really big with the pleasure, but when the vamps go slow... it's just... different."
"Is that why you're living with a vampire?" Gates asked.
"Gates, you are one second from going on report," Riley snapped. "When we get back, you will look up the nearest base with a cultural competence course."
"Yes, sir," Gates said formally.
No way was Xander letting that one slide, though. "Hey, I am a biting virgin here. My blood is for me and no one but me... well, except for when the hospital has a blood drive, but I do not let vampires bite me."
After seeing what biting led to, Xander really wasn't going to let vampires bite him. Sometimes during his intimate time with his hand, he thought about what it would have been like if one of his vamps had pushed him down on that hill instead of Faith. He remembered the look of absolute bliss on the faces of those humans in the suckhouse. He remembered when they woke up... how they still looked at Angel with this hunger like they wanted more. It was like watching a really cool kid smoke cigarettes and wondering whether he'd look that cool… if he'd like it. And having that image in his head, sometimes his imagination turned Faith's hands on him into Spike's hands or Angel's hands. He'd imagine them slipping fangs into him, and that was the very best reason why it was not going to happen. Nope, an addiction to chocolate was as adventurous as Xander was feeling.
"So, are you having sex with him?" Graham asked.
"Miller!" Riley snapped. He was actually way snappier than Xander had expected, especially since Graham didn't sound pissy about the question.
"Nope," Xander answered. "I was dating a cheerleader, but then one bad thing led to another and she decided that I was too young for her even though I’m six months older than she is, so I have been benched for the foreseeable future. And that probably won't change until I leave high school and meet people who don't think I'm the big goober who hangs on the edges of all the cool groups."
"A goober?" Riley nearly choked.
"Yep. The general consensus at school is that I am cool-adjacent without ever being cool, but then when girls emasculate you on a regular basis, you just get used to that rep." Xander knew that others saw him as the sidekick, and at one point that had really bugged him. Now, it just didn't seem like such a big deal. Being the sidekick meant that you were helping people do the right thing, and he knew that he made a difference, even if his power was more about dragging Angel into a church or keeping Spike from eating Riley. Those were important differences. Riley was probably being so nice to him because he'd kept Spike from eating the 'boxed lunch' in the cage.
But people at school didn't see the important stuff he did. Mostly they saw him trip or get saved by Buffy or emasculated by Cordelia.
"I mean, I'm not exactly good with the fighting, not when compared to the others, and I really suck at the schoolwork. At least, I usually do. When I get really stuck, this guy I know is good at getting me to understand pretty much anything, even over the phone. But that's because he explains it in terms of demons and demon fighting and all that. He actually taught me solubility by having me try to get different kinds of demon snot out of my clothes. So, I'm teachable, but not smart and decent in a fight, but not good, and in high school, that kind of averageness is not high on the social scale."
"You're an average fighter?" Graham asked with something that sounded like disbelief in his voice. "Man, I think my ego just took a serious hit."
Riley smiled. "You and me both. If we're going to work out of Sunnydale, we're going to have to train a little harder if we don't want to end up being average."
"We're going to have to train *a lot* harder," Graham said. "If I'd had three vamps target me, my first, second and third plans would have included retreat."
"Oh shit," Xander cursed. "I need to call Angel. He has this rule about me not fighting demons without telling him where I'm going. He's a mother hen. I sometimes think he clucks in his sleep," Xander said dramatically. Riley and Graham actually laughed. Xander checked in the mirror, and Gates still looked like he was hating every second of this, but hopefully he wouldn't be one of the people Riley kept around. He certainly didn't seem to be on Riley's good-list right now.
Xander fumbled at his phone and hit redial.
"Boyo, you had better tell me you're na at the cliffs yet," the voice on the other end answered before the first ring.
"Geez, lighten up. I'm on the highway. Um... sorta," Xander said as he pulled off at their exit. The caves were technically in Sunnydale, but so far from the town center that Buffy never actually patrolled here, so Xander wasn't exactly sure of the best place to start.
"Which exit?" Angel demanded.
"114," Xander said as he slowed the car around the curve.
"Pull off and wait for me."
"Um, newsflash, the sun won't be going down for another three or four hours, and we're on a clock here."
"Xander," Angel said slowly, "I will be there in less than five minutes, and you will wait for me, or I will give in to my almost overwhelming need to put you over my knee and spank you," Angel growled. Then the phone just went dead.
"Um," Xander cleared his throat, "I think we're going to just pull off here and wait for a minute." Riley looked at him funny, but no one commented as Xander pulled the car to the side and switched the engine off. Oh yeah, Angel was furious. The Irish accent usually came right before the beating of Spike, but this time, Xander was getting to deal with Angel all by himself. And if Angel had to buy another one of those expensive sun-proofing spells, his mood was so not going to be any good. Angel got cranky about Xander turning lights off and the cost of soda, so sun-proofing spells were definitely going to make him irritable.
It didn't take long at all before Angel's convertible was crunching over the gravel at the side of the road and parking behind Ms. Calendar's car. Xander got out, and met Angel who had on his stone-faced expressionless face, which pretty much meant that he was trying to not look furious.
"I was going to call you before going into the caves," Xander said before Angel had even closed the distance between them. Angel stopped a half step away from him, and Xander could see him clench his fists.
Riley had gotten out of his car and was watching Angel with a guarded expression. "Mr. Giles had planned to kill the demon himself, so I assume we can handle it."
"So, you take Xander into a situation where you're making assumptions?" Angel asked in a dangerously calm tone of voice. He reached out and caught Xander by the arm, holding on tight enough that Xander knew he was going to have bruises tomorrow.
Riley seemed to have figured out Angel's moods a lot faster than Xander had, though. For the longest time, Xander thought Angel didn't have emotions, but from the alarmed look on Riley's face, he knew Angel was furious with him.
"No, I planned to go back to the house, collect rock climbing equipment, additional weapons, supplies and personnel."
Angel raised his eyebrows.
"I changed my plans when Xander started leaving the library in order to come after the demon by himself."
Xander flinched and made a mental note to put hair remover in Riley's shampoo. He'd have to fight his way past Army guys and guards, but it'd be worth it. Reluctantly, Xander looked up, and Angel was staring down at him with yellow eyes. "Buffy really needs that heart," Xander defended himself. Angel closed his eyes, and Xander could almost see him mouth the words as he counted in some demon language in order to try and get his temper back under control. Slowly, Angel eased up his grip on Xander's arm and took several deep breaths.
"Finn," Angel said, his voice still dangerously quiet. "This is not a particularly dangerous demon, although you will no doubt have trouble since it will require a sword to kill it. But if you're going to backup Buffy, you need to adjust to the situation. Xander and I will accompany you, but we will only pull you out of the way if one of you is injured, and we will only kill the demon if you fail." Angel turned and started pulling Xander back toward his convertible so fast that Xander scrambled to keep his feet under him.
"Sir!" Riley called out. Angel stopped and looked back. "Xander still has the keys and I'm not sure where we're going."
For a second, Angel stared at the soldier, and if Buffy's life weren't in danger, Xander thought he would probably tell Riley to figure it out for himself. Instead, Angel held out his hand imperiously, and Xander quickly fished the keys out of his pocket and handed them over. Angel threw them at Riley. "Follow us," Angel said as he turned back toward the car.
Xander didn't argue, not even when Angel refused to let him go long enough to let him walk around to the passenger side. Instead, Angel opened the driver's door and sort of shoved Xander across the seat before he got in himself.
"I can't believe you would do this," Angel said angrily as he pulled away from the curb fast enough to send gravel flying behind him. Xander flinched at the sound of tinny little pings as the pebbles bounced off Ms. Calendar's car as they passed the soldiers. Riley was driving now with Graham up front.
"We hunt demons all the time," Xander tried pointing out very reasonably.
"With me, with Spike, with Faith or Buffy," Angel snapped.
"And now Riley is part of the merry band."
"No, he's not. He's trying to prove himself, but right now, he's just one more human who could end up getting eaten by something bigger than he is tomorrow. Do you have any idea how easily I captured him?" Angel demanded. He glanced over, and Xander saw the yellow of his eyes reflecting his anger.
"He wasn't expecting a vampire to be out during the day. It's a little surprising to me, too," Xander pointed out. Angel really did look different in the sun. His pale skin looked a little unhealthy, but he also looked larger, more intimidating, maybe because that was a seriously intimidating look on his face and there were no shadows to hide any corner of the unhappy. Nope, every unhappy wrinkle and twitch was clearly highlighted as the sun bathed him with light.
"A dozen different demons can disguise themselves as humans; a half-dozen can go out in the sun. And when all else fails, demons can just hire humans to do their work for them."
"If he's such a bad backup, why did you tell the general he'd be good backup for Buffy?" Xander demanded. If this guy was incompetent, Xander didn't want him near the girls. Riley and Wesley could go off and do the demon thing together if they both sucked.
Angel sighed. "It's not that he's that bad."
"That's not what you said two seconds ago."
"They'll learn. With Buffy and Giles to watch out for them, they'll adapt. They aren't ready to back you up in a fight."
"Because I'm not good enough to take care of myself," Xander finished for him. The words didn't even hurt anymore. Xander had long ago embraced that his powers lay in distraction and helping.
"Because you would have to take care of them. Xander, you're a better fighter than any of those three."
"Okay, the sun is obviously baking your brain," Xander laughed.
Angel sighed and reached over to rest a palm on Xander's leg. It felt oddly warm, as if Angel's skin carried the warmth of the sun in it.
"Xander, you are as good a fighter as any full human will ever learn to be. They aren't at your level, and if you fight with them, you're going to expect them to hit as hard as a vampire or slayer. You're going to see them go down, and then assume they'll be back up in time to cover you as you go in for an attack. Xander, every person you fight with has supernatural powers. You can't judge humans by that standard."
Xander stared at the road as he thought about that. Riley and Graham had joked, sure, but they couldn't be that bad, could they? Soldiers were fighters. Covert soldiers who got undercover missions were awesome soldiers. And officers who commanded covert soldiers on missions—officers like Riley—were scary great fighters. "I couldn't... I mean, they're all best of the best and be all you can be."
Angel sighed again, and his eyes finally faded to brown. "They are the best of humans. Xander, you compare yourself with demons and slayers. You're our weakest fighter only because your body can't physically do more than you've already pushed it to do. Once they start patrolling with Buffy and me, they'll have to learn to push themselves as hard as you do, but until then, you aren't to go out with them."
"Maybe..."
"No," Angel growled, the yellow back in his eyes. "Xander, you have to understand how dangerous this is."
"They're not going to get me killed."
"No, you're going to get them killed," Angel snapped. He held up his hand with that same ugly ring from the night when Xander had found Riley in the cage. "This is why I can walk in the sun. It's a ring that most of the demonic world thinks is a myth. When I got the call from Oz that you were heading out here, Spike and I fought over this ring. Most of the time, Spike isn't all that interested in winning—today he was, and in close quarters in that apartment, he nearly did. I can't use my extra weight and reach if I don't have room to maneuver."
"Shit," Xander breathed. He didn't even want to think what the apartment looked like.
"If Spike had won, those three would be dead right now," Angel said, and Xander felt cold rush through him.
"He wouldn't—"
"He would," Angel cut him off. "He wanted to kill Wesley, but he didn't because Faith took the dominant role in their relationship, so when she told him to back off, he did. Spike sees himself as dominant over you, which means he has rights and responsibilities. If I'm there, I can control his demon, but if he'd gotten this ring, he would have been out here killing those three for putting you in harm's way, and they wouldn't have had time to explain that you were the one putting yourself at risk."
"I didn't—" Xander just stopped. Today was supposed to be about Riley getting his world redefined. Maybe Buffy would get a little redefining because suddenly she wouldn't be alone anymore. She'd have support. Maybe she'd even have money to fix the radios or buy new swords because she was tough on the equipment. Xander had definitely not scheduled himself for any new insights and revelations. "I know he'd kill someone who threatened me, but he'd kill Riley?" Xander asked quietly.
"I'm hoping we get home before dark so I can talk to him and he can see you're safe before he can get out of the apartment building or he still may try," Angel said with a grimace. "Xander, years ago I spent a lot of time trying to break William because I hated that his need to love people survived in his demon. In some ways, I tortured him as badly as I ever tortured Dru, but he was stronger than she had been. He never changed; he just learned to hide it from me. And now, he loves you. In Spike's case, loving someone means obsessing over them, killing for them, changing for them. That's what he's doing for you... it's what he's doing for me. It's what he's always done. If he had understood Faith— if I had understood her well enough to explain it to him— he would have done anything to help her feel safe and wanted."
Angel pulled off the road and onto a dirt path that led to the top of the cliffs. "Xander, if you put yourself in danger, you'll put Spike in a position where he feels like he has to kill to protect you. You need to understand that. And you need to understand one other thing: if he had a choice between saving the two of us or saving the rest of the world, he would let the whole world burn to save us. He'd set fire to it himself if he needed to. William the poet felt love so deeply that William the vampire doesn't know how to survive without it." Angel stopped the car and looked over at Xander.
For a second, Xander didn't even breathe. It was like knowing you were sitting on a bomb and that if you did something stupid, the bomb was going to go off. Yeah, he'd known that Spike loved Angel, that wasn't exactly a secret, but Xander had always thought that Spike's feelings for him were filtered through Angel, like Xander was Angel's favorite toy or something.
"Just... be careful?" Angel asked. Xander nodded. "Okay, so let's go watch the soldiers get knocked around a little before we rescue them," he said wearily as he got out of the car. "You know, if Giles had just called me earlier, I could have taken care of this on my own with a lot less fuss."
Riley pulled up behind Angel, and the three soldiers got out of the car. Angel started walking toward the cliff, and Xander could see him sniff the air for a second. He turned to look over his shoulder. "Unless you are knocked out or start bleeding from an artery, you'd better be willing to pick yourself up and get back into the fight," Angel warned them as he pulled his sword. Xander pulled out his own cinquedea.
"We can handle ourselves," Riley said confidently. Xander wondered if he had sounded that confident when he'd gone into his first major battle with the forces of darkness. He doubted it. It was hard to think that everyone here thought he was a better fighter than these three.
"Just make sure you keep your fangs to yourself," Gates said darkly.
Angel flashed into gameface, and Gates clutched his sword tighter.
"You know," Xander said, remembering a lesson Spike had taught him long ago, "if you hold your sword too tight, you cut off circulation to your fingers and then you're pretty much a sitting target."
"Good to know. I'll pass that advice on to whichever soldiers get posted here," Riley sounded honestly grateful for the advice even as he gave Gates a cold look. Angel ignored them all as he started toward the cliff, a hand on Xander's back guiding him. All Xander could think was that it was funny the way life handed you brain-changing moments when you least expected it.
