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Thoughts Colored Ugly 14
Oh boy. I thought I had it all mapped out in my head how Simon would react. Then as I was writing, I thought, oh, no way would he not react to that... or that... or that. Long and short, Simon's a good deal more pissed than even I thought he'd be.
Thursday chapter. Oh, Simon. You're just not having an easy time with this, are you?
Thoughts Colored Ugly 14/?
River/Jayne
Rated: ADULT
Warnings: Dom/sub, slavery, angst.
Previous parts
"Mei mei," Simon called from the walk above Serenity's bay. "I can't believe you stole the shuttle. You aren't to ever do something like that again."
Kaylee trailed behind as he stormed down the stairs toward his sister. Kaylee just smiled as she looked from one to the other. "You brought him back." She finally said as she got to the bottom. Jayne hadn't done more than get out of the hauler before Kaylee was there, arms wrapped around him. He didn't know quite what to do so he patted her awkwardly on the shoulder.
"Poop head," she whispered for just him. Jayne gave a shrug.
"Never been the brightest, but this time it weren't all my fault. Got drunk around people who weren't the best for getting drunk around."
Simon made a noise that Jayne chose to ignore as Kaylee took a step back. Her eyes took him in. "Looking good. I know you didn't dress yourself looking like that, so who dragged you out shopping for shirts that don't have logos promising blood and gunfire?" she teased. Jayne looked down with a frown.
"Ain't so different from what I normally wear, except for these britches being too gorram tight," he complained as he scratched again. Glancing over, Simon was still fussing over River while Mal and Zoe started unpacked without even offering a word. Cowards weren't even going to try and help him out of this.
"She's probably not used to you being clean," Simon said as he finally looked up from making sure River didn't have a mark on her.
"Simon, that ain't nice," Kaylee immediately hissed at him, going over and giving him a punch in the arm for good measure.
"Least I know how to get dirty doing a day's work," Jayne crossed his arms and bit back a dozen other words, most a good sight less polite.
"We should help the captain," Kaylee said as she turned to the hauler and cargo.
"Nope," River said when Jayne went to do just that. "Brother has to look over Jayne," River said.
Mal put down the box he'd just picked up. "There a problem?" he asked as he watched them carefully.
"Not that I know of," Jayne shrugged. Maybe she just wanted them in the infirmary when they had their talk, but personally he'd rather keep the doc away from anything sharp or shiny when he found out.
"Jayne's all itchy and hurt," River said. Immediately, the look of mild disgust the doc always wore around Jayne vanished.
"Did something happen? When did you first start noticing symptoms?" he asked.
"Haven't really, just a might sore," Jayne said in confusion as River grabbed his arm and started dragging him toward the infirmary. "Last two or three days."
"Where?"
"Cock," Jayne answered, and the doc half stumbled a step. Turning around, he glanced at River who was still holding on to Jayne's arm.
"Mei mei, maybe you had better give us some privacy. Jayne might need to tell me things that you shouldn't hear, but don't worry. I'll take care of him, so you can let him go now."
"Not leaving," River said.
"Not like I care if she's in the room," Jayne said, not mentioning the part about River owning him because he really didn't want to get into that conversation if Simon was going to be looking at his prick.
"I don't think she should be seeing the exam," Simon said, his voice tight as frustration started coming through.
"I want to see. Testis, corpus spongiosum, corpus cavernosum, urethra, prostate, vas deferens." River's voice got that far-off sound.
"What those?" Jayne asked as River started pulling him toward the infirmary again. They passed Simon who had a look like he'd been frozen.
"Parts of the penis. I want to see them."
"Ain't had a doctor check my prostate but once, and I ain't looking to have you or your brother go checking it today," Jayne warned, the word finally registering with him as he remembered the government health check when he turned 16.
"Not today," River agreed cheerfully. Simon finally got himself moving again, catching up when they got to the infirmary. Jayne started unbuckling his pants.
"Jayne, don't undress in front of River."
"Silly Simon. I know how it all works. Arteries dilate and pressurized blood flows into the corpora cavernosa. But I've never seen it."
"And you aren't seeing it today," Simon almost yelped.
"Only a body part," Jayne said as he let his pants drop. "Ain't nothing to get that uptight about." He figured out he hadn't taken off his boots, and he cursed as he knelt down and started working on the laces so he wouldn't be hobbled if the doc decided to take a scalpel to his parts.
"River, you need to go back to your quarters," Simon said. Jayne just kept working on his boots while he watched with amusement.
"No." River leaned back against the wall. Simon frowned at her and then went over to physically push her out of the room. That worked about as well as Simon getting out and trying to push start Serenity.
"River," Simon said in a warning tone. River actually smiled at him. Then she watched as Jayne stepped out of his boots and pants and pushed his boxers off. Immediately, he reached up and scratched himself.
"Oh my god. Stop that," Simon said as he instantly turned to Jayne. "Get on the table. How long have you had this?"
"Just a bit of rash," Jayne said as he got up on the table. This were a bit uncomfortable laying with his parts exposed. River wandered closer, her fingers brushing across his shoulder, and Jayne curled his fists around the edge of the table and tried to ignore when Simon slipped on gloves and started handling him. Itched like a whore down there.
"A rash with signs of secondary infection."
"He gonna be okay?" Mal asked from the doorway.
"Captain, would you get River out of here, please," Simon asked as he poked at Jayne's balls. Jayne scowled at him, but the man was too interested in torturing Jayne to notice.
"Your sister does what she wants, in case you ain't noticed. Jayne, that don't look good," Mal said as he stepped closer.
"Doc need to either stop touching it or start scratching because he's just making it worse," Jayne complained as he held on to the edge of the table as tight as he could.
"Balanitis with a slight secondary infection. I'll get cream," Simon announced as he finally let go of Jayne. Jayne reached down to scratch and Simon blocked his hand.
"Stop that. The more you scratch, the worse it's going to get."
"Wrong," River said.
"Good because I ain't going to itch and not scratch," Jayne said as he shoved Simon's hand out of the way and started scratching. River was there, catching his hand and pulling it away, and Jayne could only stare at the ceiling as he thought up colorful curses.
"You can't scratch. Simon will get you cream that makes it feel better, but it's not balanitis."
Mal stepped forward, a real disgusted look on his face as he stared at Jayne exposed on the table. "You ain't the doc, River. And are you sure that ain't dangerous, Simon? Because I've never seen a man's penis looking quite that unhappy."
"Just a rash," Jayne complained. Weren't good for a man's ego to have his prick judged like that.
"A bumpy rash. A really red bumpy rash on parts that I don't reckon I would tolerate any kind of rash at all. That ain't catching it is?" Mal took a quick step back.
"It happens when you aren't regularly acquainted with bathwater," Simon said, the concern and sympathy of earlier largely gone.
"Intertrigo," River said definitively as she reached down and touched Jayne's cock. Idiot thing started hardening, which just made the itch worse.
"Don't be silly, River, a man would have to--. Stop That!" Simon came back over and pulled River's hand away from Jayne's cock. Mal was now standing with his back to them, leaning against the wall near the door. Jayne hadn't seen the captain move that fast since Reavers was after them.
"River, you don't ever touch a man there," Simon said, his voice caught between panic and patience.
"Ever?" River asked all innocent-like. Jayne didn't know what were coming, but he'd seen that sweet expression often enough to not trust it.
"What?" Simon asked.
"You think I shouldn't ever touch a man?" She cocked her head to the side with an injured expression.
"I…" Simon stopped. "This isn't a topic for discussion right here."
"You think I'll go through my whole life and never touch a man? You don't want me to have any life or happiness?" she asked, her voice small and sad. "Don't you want me to ever have what you and Kaylee have when you get all lost in each other's bodies and the feeling of hot skin in the bed? You want me to be alone?" Simon turned all kinds of red while River just had an expression like someone had killed Santa Clause. Jayne knew she were playing her brother, knew it and still wanted to punch the sha gua right in the face for making River look so sad.
"I didn't--. I mean--. River." Simon staggered to a verbal stop. River looked on the verge of crying. Jayne gave her points for manipulation, but it were making his stomach sour.
"Ain't helping with the itch, you two fighting," Jayne interrupted the staring match. River still had ahold of his one hand, and the slave cuff on the other were a mighty big reminder that if she told him not to do something, he weren't supposed to do it. And if that something involved everyone looking at his cock like it were about ready to fall off, he'd be following her advice.
"Here," Simon shoved a tube of something at him, and Jayne didn't waste any time getting it open and slathering some over his penis. The burning itch vanished as Jayne stroked it into the sore skin.
"Oh my god, you don't have to--. River, you need to leave," Simon said, his eyes focused on what Jayne was doing. Jayne finished wiping the rest of the cream off on his hip.
"Got a woman touching me, so it ain't my fault," Jayne pointed out as he considered his cock which was making a valiant effort to get hard even if it wasn't actually getting far. River's hand had drifted from Jayne's wrist up to rest on his hip bone.
"I really don't want to look, do I?" Mal asked as he stood at the door and watched the hallway.
"Nope," River agreed. "And it's not balanitis, it's intertrigo."
"River, a man would have to pleasure himself... oh... " Simon paused.
"Four, five times a day for the last eight days," Jayne filled in for him quickly enough. He swung his legs around and hopped off the table, but when he turned around, Simon had that expression like his face done fell open. "What?" Jayne snatched his clothes off the floor and started pulling them on.
"You've... four or five times a day... with a rash like that?"
"Painful. The pain puts an edge on all the round, but he shouldn't hurt himself, he should let me hurt him," River said. Simon spared her a glance and then looked back at Jayne.
"To get that damage, he would have to be hurting himself. What would possess you to... do that?" Simon finally got his mouth to close as Jayne did up his buckle. He cast a look at his boots. He'd feel better with them on, but this was getting to the point in the conversation where being bent over were just too much risk.
"It's called jerking off," Jayne sneered.
"It's called masturbation," Simon crossed his arms and stared at Jayne. "Excessive masturbation. Potentially obsessive even."
"Too much friction and heat and pressure and now he's all itchy. No more jerking off for Jayne," River said as she sat on the exam table and curled her legs under her. She'd lost her boots at some point so she was back to bare feet.
Simon sighed. "River, this really isn't something you should get involved in. Jayne, if you want to get undressed again, I'll check to see if you've caused any damage other than the rash."
"He didn't," River announced airily.
"I'll take her word for it," Jayne said as he retreated to a spot near the door and leaned against the wall. Mal glanced over at him.
"Have to say, I don't know whether to call that impressive or stupid," Mal commented. "Five times a day, Jayne?"
"You try having her rubbing up against you. It was either my hand or her," Jayne commented. He knew this was starting right down a road he didn't want to go down, but better to take on the enemy face on than have them chasing your back with a scalpel and a needle full of drugs.
"Her?" Simon looked from River to Jayne and back. "River?" he finally asked, focusing on his sister.
"I bought Jayne," River announced proudly as she looked at Jayne with that new-found puppy expression.
"I thought the captain was going to fetch him." Simon sounded confused, not angry, so Jayne figured he had missed the important part of her announcement.
"Oh, I tried. River outbid me. Sold my gorram shuttle to get the money to outbid me, but the law says that River holds Jayne's paper, and I can't do nothing about that," Mal said as he turned to face Simon. Now he and Jayne flanked the door and Simon just looked from one to the other in confusion. Yeah, he knew he were missing something; he just weren't too sure what.
"River?" he finally turned back to his sister.
"I put a cuff on Jayne, hold his paper, only he says he won't have sex with me until you see that this is my choice, so he goes and gets stupid and hurts himself instead of letting me hurt him." River summed it up pretty good, and once again Simon's whole face just kinda fell open. "Would have made him stop, but he needed to have the edge on all the round and he says I can't hurt him yet. Can't hurt him and I can't have sex with him until you know. So now you know."
"You." Simon took a step back and braced himself on the counter. "Him?"
River nodded happily and slid off the table before going to Jayne, fitting herself into his side, and he rested his arm on her shoulders. She looked up at him. "Can we have sex now? Promise to be careful with your damaged parts."
Simon was breathing heavy like he was about to pass out. "Captain, I don't know what this man-ape has done, but unless you do something to fix this, I'm going to fix that rash by cutting it off," Simon said, his voice shaking.
"Aiya. Told me I were always safe on your table," Jayne protested.
"You ain't on my table!" Simon shot back. Jayne traded a concerned look with Mal. He hadn't ever heard Simon so upset that he forgot his grammar before.
"My choice," River said firmly, her arm still around Jayne's waist.
"No!" Simon shouted. "No, it isn't your choice. They cut into your head so you can't control what you're thinking, so it's not your choice to bed some addle-pate, some simpleton who can't even go a month without selling himself into slavery. This isn't your choice." Simon's voice rose to an uneven shout.
"Simon, what's going on here?" Kaylee appeared at the door, looking around with concern. "Zoe said you might want some privacy, but it's hard to let you be private with all the shouting and insulting going on."
"He seduced my sister," Simon shouted, poking a finger at Jayne. "I don't know how, and I don't care, but he needs to get his hands off River."
"You planning on trying to make me? I'd like to see that, little man," Jayne warned darkly.
"Play nice," River said, sounding all the world like Kaylee for a second. For her part, Kaylee was just looking confused.
"River and Jayne?" she asked.
"I figure that's about the face I made when I heard," Mal agreed. "Course, Jayne made a face even worse at the time, but River put her bid on him, and she's been working hard to convince all of us, Jayne included, that she's serious about this."
"I am serious. I like Jayne's brain," she said as she rested her head on his shoulder. Simon spluttered so hard that Jayne thought he might choke on his own tongue.
"Oh," Kaylee said. Nothing more, just 'oh.'
"Trust me, don't go asking after it because she'll give you some explanations that will leave you wanting to wash out the inside of your brain with a real strong soap. In fact," Mal said with a face like he'd been sucking a lemon, "if she starts talking on Reaver thoughts, just run."
"Are you okay with this captain?" Kaylee asked real soft.
"Me?" Mal looked over at her in surprise. "Aren't you worried about River?"
Kaylee shrugged. "I reckon River can take care of herself just fine, and Jayne don't appear to be suffering, but I always figured you and Jayne would end up together, captain, and now Jayne has River and you're alone."
Mal's mouth dropped open. "You knew, too? Why is it that everyone on my whole gorram ship knowed that Jayne were available, excepting me?" he demanded.
"You didn't know?" Kaylee blinked.
"No, and Zoe said you didn't neither."
Kaylee made a disgusted sound. "Everybody always thinks I'm so naive. Ain't so naive as to miss what's right under my nose."
"Well, next time something's right under your nose, you mind letting me in on it?" Mal asked.
"You bet, captain," she smiled and then looked thoughtful. "Does that mean you want to know about how--"
"Simon knows now, so can we start having sex?" River asked again, interrupting Kaylee. Simon was still clinging to the counter, looking back and forth like one of them dolls that nods in the wind. "I'll be careful with your broken penis."
"His penis?" Kaylee yelped, worry in her eyes, and Jayne weren't having no pity.
"Jerked off too much trying to not do the wrong thing, but if I ain't going to get any credit for not bedding River yet, ain't sure why I bothered," Jayne said, feeling more than a little put upon.
"Credit," Simon almost choked on the word. "Credit? You want credit for not bedding her?" Simon's voice started small and built up to a good rant. "She's a child! If you did bed her, I'd ask the captain to put you off the ship. Of course, even if you did bed her, I still wouldn't sell you to the alliance."
Jayne froze, his anger and guilt rising up like a monster out of the dark. "Your sister done stabbed me. Ain't like I didn't have cause."
"Yes, the cause closest to Jayne Cobb's heart--money. You want money? I'll pay you to leave my sister alone. Come on, how much will it take to get you to keep your hands off her?" Simon pulled his wallet out and started yanking credit notes out.
"Don't need your money," Jayne said, not sure when he'd gotten so off-balance in this fight, but this weren't going the way he'd planned.
"Oh, maybe you've already sold her out. Get a better price from some Alliance doctor? Plan to walk her to some pick up point with your arm around her shoulders?"
Mal stepped forward. "Now, Simon. Jayne ain't the one doing any selling. He's the one who went and got himself sold, and as far as I've seen, River's taking the job of owning him a fair sight more seriously than I would have thought. Look at him, Simon."
"I am." Simon growled the words. He was too, glaring hard enough that Jayne could feel the hatred sinking into his skin.
Mal sighed. "I ain't never knowed Jayne Cobb to wear pants that tight or shirts that button up without someone making him. It were River's choice. Jayne ain't the one doing the pushing here."
"So, if he lets River pick his shirt, that makes it okay for him to sleep with her?" Simon spat the words in anger.
"He's mine." River stepped forward, and Jayne could see in the way she held her body that she was near to an edge. He'd spent a week on his knees watching her every move, the way her legs moved slow and steady when she were happy, the way a book that upset her made her go all stiff, the way her body turned into something alien when she wanted to kill… one of the Mockingbird crew had come mighty close. Now her arms were stiff at her sides, head tilted forward as she faced off against her brother. Jayne figured Simon'd be safe enough, but she weren't always aware of whoever happened to be on the side when she was upset.
"Captain. How about you and Kaylee leave us to handle this for a bit," Jayne said as soft as he could.
"I don't think that's a real good idea, Jayne," Kaylee immediately answered, but Mal looked from River back to Jayne again.
"Jayne?"
"Yep," Jayne answered.
"Gao yang jong duh goo yang. Kaylee, let's leave them to do their talking," Mal said as he caught Kaylee's arm and started backing out of the room.
"But, cap…"
"Kaylee, we're leaving," Mal said as he dragged her out of the room.
"What?" Simon asked, and Jayne could see River's head come up, the aggression drain as her brother's anger gave way to confusion. "Captain?" Simon called out, and then Jayne watched the anger settle in again as he looked at Jayne. "You do this, and I will either get him to kick you off this ship, or I will take my sister and leave," he said, his voice deadly quiet.
"No!" River yelled, both fists coming down on the treatment table he was holding hard enough to leave twin dents.
"Mei mei," Simon yelped as he jumped back.
"No, I'm not leaving. He's mine. Stop thinking those things."
"Don't matter what the little man's thinking," Jayne said. "You put the cuff on me, and the law says he can't come between that."
"That's funny, you turning to the law. I didn't think you cared about the law."
Jayne spared Simon a dirty look before he focused on River with her tight body language. Just too much hate for one room, he reckoned. "You know, I ain't going to hold it against you that you're acting like a chun zi. You gave up your life for your sister, so I imagine it ain't easy seeing her make a life on her own, but you hurt her, and I'll kill you before you have a chance to take a breath. Won't feel bad or angry, and I'll probably even feel some respect that you had the balls to put your freedom on the line for her, but I'll kill you."
Jayne was calm, about as calm as he'd ever felt, but Simon turned white. River had been focusing on her brother, her head bent forward and her hair hiding her face, but now she turned to Jayne.
She stepped in front of him, her hand coming up to rest on his chest.
"This… this is who you pick mei mei? A killer? A stone-cold killer. A gorram dumb stone-cold killer at that?" Simon demanded. River stood, her hand braced on Jayne's chest as she breathed deep. Jayne laid his hand over the back of hers where it rested against his chest.
Simon just kept right on going. "He tried to turn us in to the feds. No one ever taught him right from wrong and now he's trying to take you away. Maybe if Mal took a bullwhip to him, he'd learn that he needs to have respect for other people, he needs to have respect for you."
Jayne looked up at Simon. "What I did were wrong. Mal's the captain, and River's my owner, so I guess they both got the right to take me to task for getting stupid, but you ain't. And I got more respect for your sister than you do. I don't go throwing my hate and anger into her mind where she can't hide. I don't go bottling things up and poisoning her with 'em. I weren't kidding. You either get control so you ain't hurting her no more, or I'll kill you."
"Do you really think I'd ever hurt her?" Simon demanded, but at least now he had some uncertainty in his voice.
"Anger." River's voice was low, verging on a moan.
"Mei mei?"
"Ain't about you and me, or else I'd beat the shit out of you and have done with it, so listen up. You ever stop and listen to her instead of shoving some needle in her arm?"
"Of course I listen." Simon didn't sound angry at all now, now he sounded so worried that he didn't even care if Jayne was in the room. He stepped forward, reaching out to lay a hand on River's shoulder, and she darted behind Jayne.
"Mei mei!" Simon tried to follow and River retreated so they ended up playing a round of ring around the Jayne. "River!"
She stopped in front of Jayne, one arm outstretched toward Simon, holding him away as she put her back to Jayne.
"No!" she snapped. "I can't shut people out but that doesn't mean I don't make my own choice," she just about growled. "I can hear you and Jayne and Mal and Kaylee and Zoe and I chose Jayne. I chose him." She stopped, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Jayne reached up and put a hand on her arm.
"Don't want your anger with elephant feet in my brain. Stampedes so fast I can't move out of the way. Anger, fear, accusation, all like lightening. Stop it." River opened her eyes and looked right at Simon.
"Mei mei, this isn't you," Simon said softly. "I have something that would help you, quiet your mind," he said as he edged toward his cabinet.
"No," she said firmly. "This is me. You just don't want to see me. You want me to be the girl I was before you left."
"That's who you should be," Simon soothed her, but Jayne could hear the frustration in his voice. "If they hadn't cut your brain open, that's who you would be."
River was shaking her head now. "I'd be grown up. I'd be getting sexed, and you wouldn't have no say in it. You'd hate whoever I bedded and complain to Mom and Dad, but I'd be grown. I am grown."
Simon stopped at that. "River."
"Baby, toddler, child, teen, grown, old. Always moving. Leaving." Jayne didn't realize the last was a command until she pulled at his arm. Still in his bare feet, he started backing up, not wanting to put his back to the doc right now.
"River?" Simon called.
"She's had as much of your stupidity and hate as she can handle in her brain right now. Give her space to recover or I swear, I will protect her even if I have to kill you," Jayne said seriously as he pulled River out into the hall. His quarters were farther away from the others than hers, so he headed that way, hoping they were still his and still unlocked. The ship was cold under his bare feet, and slap of skin against metal sounded wrong to his ear, but Jayne weren't about to go back for his boots. He just hurried River along before something else could go wrong.
Turning the corner, Jayne spotted the captain waiting at the juncture of two corridors near Jayne's room. "She okay?" he asked.
"Yep," Jayne agreed shortly. Weren't in much of a mood for conversation, especially now that River had fallen into silence.
"Simon okay?"
"For now," Jayne answered. "His table ain't the best."
"You or River?"
"River. Were me, I would have just broken his neck."
Mal sighed. "I ain't sure he ever truly thought about what it meant for her, having all of us in her head like she got. Maybe I'll talk to him."
"Well, you explain that she's my priority now. I warned him, and I'm warning you, I think he's doing her permanent harm, and I'll kill him. I'll do it quick and painless, but I'll kill him." Jayne turned to go to his room.
"This is my boat, Jayne," Mal said, reaching out and grabbing Jayne's arm to make him stop. Jayne stopped, and River stopped with him. "I already told you once, we don't turn on our own."
"I recall you told me to stab you in the front next time I was going to stab you in the back," Jayne said. "I'm just giving you that warning because if he hurts her, I'll do what I have to do. And I know you're the captain and if you figure I deserve a horse whipping or getting thrown out the airlock, I'll accept that, but that won't keep me from killing anyone who rips her apart." Jayne stared at Mal, a coldness in him that he hadn't ever felt. It weren't that he didn't care, it's that he cared so much that caring just froze out all else, even his fear of the one man who'd ever made Jayne face his own death.
"What are you defining as tearing her apart?" Mal asked. "Should I go put Zoe on guard at the infirmary now?"
Jayne looked down. River was leaning into him, but her breathing were calm enough. "Don't reckon so." River looked up at him and then over to Mal.
"His edges hurt so much more than others," she said softly. "Know all my tender spots. So much anger. So much guilt like big boulders holding back the water."
Mal sighed. "This is why I have a set in stone rule against family on a ship. Family always do know how to hurt us most, River. I'll talk to Simon. And Jayne," Mal looked at him with a deadly calm. "You kill someone on my boat without him having a gun pointed at your gut and a horsewhipping is the nicest thing I'll do to you."
Jayne didn't answer. With a long-suffering expression and a long sigh, Mal turned back toward the infirmary and headed out.
Jayne started River moving toward his quarters again. He had River inside and was closing the hatch when she sat on the floor at his feet.
"River?" he asked. Usually, he were the one on the floor. They'd have to get some rugs in here or his knees were going to be mighty sore. River reached out and traced the top of his foot with a finger.
"No boots."
"Left 'em with your brother. Be lucky if he doesn't take a knife to 'em."
"You were too busy with me to think about boots." She looked up and smiled and then with a sinuous twist, she was on her feet.
"Yeah…"
"Care about me more than the boots."
Now Jayne just looked at her like she really had lost her mind. River smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Hate being confused," she muttered, her head against his chest. Jayne walked to the bunk, River dangling from him as she bent her legs up.
"Makes it easier when you just kill 'em, doesn't it?" Jayne asked.
Slowly River nodded. "Or hit 'em really hard so they stop thinking so loud. Can't hit brother, though, not even when he's being stupid. And you can't kill brother," she said as she slid down to the ground and then sat on the edge of the bunk. She pulled on Jayne's hand, and Jayne sank to his knees in front of her.
"Can I threaten to kill him?" Jayne asked. River brought both hands up and cupped his face, her fingers threading through his hair and exploring his head, the curve of his neck, the edge of his jaw. Slowly she nodded her head.
"Good," Jayne said, his cock starting to twitch as her hands stroked down his arms. "Don't rightly know if I could stop threatening him at least." River's fingertips traveled down his arms, stopping when she reached his wrist. Pulling his left hand up, she opened her eyes to stare at the slave cuff, her fingers exploring it before she turned his hand over and traced the lines on his palm.
"Just tell me what you want, and I'll do it," Jayne said softly.
"You giving me everything?" she asked.
"Yep. Already told you I'd give you my pain, back in there with Simon. I ain't taking the cuff lightly, and I never meant to deny you anything, but I had to have that out without everyone thinking I went and seduced you. Can't live with doing something they can't forgive me for," Jayne admitted softly, and that were sounding a whole lot like weakness.
"You're all itchy and I have all the sharp edges in my mind. Want to take you somewhere nice, and I ain't anywhere nice right now," River said softly.
"Don't have to be nice, I'll follow you anyway." Jayne shifted as his knees complained about the metal floor.
River slowly lay down, pulling at Jayne until he climbed in the bed with her. It wasn't exactly a big bunk, but she curled around him so she didn't take up any space at all. Jayne could almost feel the fatigue laying on her like a blanket, and he felt a flare of anger that Simon could be so gorram clueless. River pinched him.
"Ain't like I got anything else to think about, laying here," Jayne defended himself without even pretending ignorance.
"Tell me about Vera," River said softly. Her hand stroked his hip and tugged at his shirt until she could slip a hand inside and just rest it against his warm stomach.
"Tell everyone I got it off a mercenary I killed," Jayne started slowly. He'd told that story so often he believed it himself most nights when he lay here looking at her. Mal had hung her back on the wall of Jayne's quarters, and Jayne could see her now if he looked over his shoulder. He glanced that way and then looked back at River. Her hair had fallen into her face, and he brought his hand up, brushing it away with his thumb.
River poked him in the stomach. "Keep telling," she said.
"Yes, mistress," he joked, but then his thoughts turned to the story, and the smile just faded. "She belonged to my step-father. He always told me I were worthless, that I'd end up in some gorram jail and break my ma's heart…"
Jayne lay in his bunk, stroking River's hair and telling her the story of the night he left home until her eyes drifted closed and she finally slept. Then he just lay there watching her, catching sight of the black cuff locked around his wrist every time he brought his hand up to stroke her long hair.
Thursday chapter. Oh, Simon. You're just not having an easy time with this, are you?
Thoughts Colored Ugly 14/?
River/Jayne
Rated: ADULT
Warnings: Dom/sub, slavery, angst.
Previous parts
"Mei mei," Simon called from the walk above Serenity's bay. "I can't believe you stole the shuttle. You aren't to ever do something like that again."
Kaylee trailed behind as he stormed down the stairs toward his sister. Kaylee just smiled as she looked from one to the other. "You brought him back." She finally said as she got to the bottom. Jayne hadn't done more than get out of the hauler before Kaylee was there, arms wrapped around him. He didn't know quite what to do so he patted her awkwardly on the shoulder.
"Poop head," she whispered for just him. Jayne gave a shrug.
"Never been the brightest, but this time it weren't all my fault. Got drunk around people who weren't the best for getting drunk around."
Simon made a noise that Jayne chose to ignore as Kaylee took a step back. Her eyes took him in. "Looking good. I know you didn't dress yourself looking like that, so who dragged you out shopping for shirts that don't have logos promising blood and gunfire?" she teased. Jayne looked down with a frown.
"Ain't so different from what I normally wear, except for these britches being too gorram tight," he complained as he scratched again. Glancing over, Simon was still fussing over River while Mal and Zoe started unpacked without even offering a word. Cowards weren't even going to try and help him out of this.
"She's probably not used to you being clean," Simon said as he finally looked up from making sure River didn't have a mark on her.
"Simon, that ain't nice," Kaylee immediately hissed at him, going over and giving him a punch in the arm for good measure.
"Least I know how to get dirty doing a day's work," Jayne crossed his arms and bit back a dozen other words, most a good sight less polite.
"We should help the captain," Kaylee said as she turned to the hauler and cargo.
"Nope," River said when Jayne went to do just that. "Brother has to look over Jayne," River said.
Mal put down the box he'd just picked up. "There a problem?" he asked as he watched them carefully.
"Not that I know of," Jayne shrugged. Maybe she just wanted them in the infirmary when they had their talk, but personally he'd rather keep the doc away from anything sharp or shiny when he found out.
"Jayne's all itchy and hurt," River said. Immediately, the look of mild disgust the doc always wore around Jayne vanished.
"Did something happen? When did you first start noticing symptoms?" he asked.
"Haven't really, just a might sore," Jayne said in confusion as River grabbed his arm and started dragging him toward the infirmary. "Last two or three days."
"Where?"
"Cock," Jayne answered, and the doc half stumbled a step. Turning around, he glanced at River who was still holding on to Jayne's arm.
"Mei mei, maybe you had better give us some privacy. Jayne might need to tell me things that you shouldn't hear, but don't worry. I'll take care of him, so you can let him go now."
"Not leaving," River said.
"Not like I care if she's in the room," Jayne said, not mentioning the part about River owning him because he really didn't want to get into that conversation if Simon was going to be looking at his prick.
"I don't think she should be seeing the exam," Simon said, his voice tight as frustration started coming through.
"I want to see. Testis, corpus spongiosum, corpus cavernosum, urethra, prostate, vas deferens." River's voice got that far-off sound.
"What those?" Jayne asked as River started pulling him toward the infirmary again. They passed Simon who had a look like he'd been frozen.
"Parts of the penis. I want to see them."
"Ain't had a doctor check my prostate but once, and I ain't looking to have you or your brother go checking it today," Jayne warned, the word finally registering with him as he remembered the government health check when he turned 16.
"Not today," River agreed cheerfully. Simon finally got himself moving again, catching up when they got to the infirmary. Jayne started unbuckling his pants.
"Jayne, don't undress in front of River."
"Silly Simon. I know how it all works. Arteries dilate and pressurized blood flows into the corpora cavernosa. But I've never seen it."
"And you aren't seeing it today," Simon almost yelped.
"Only a body part," Jayne said as he let his pants drop. "Ain't nothing to get that uptight about." He figured out he hadn't taken off his boots, and he cursed as he knelt down and started working on the laces so he wouldn't be hobbled if the doc decided to take a scalpel to his parts.
"River, you need to go back to your quarters," Simon said. Jayne just kept working on his boots while he watched with amusement.
"No." River leaned back against the wall. Simon frowned at her and then went over to physically push her out of the room. That worked about as well as Simon getting out and trying to push start Serenity.
"River," Simon said in a warning tone. River actually smiled at him. Then she watched as Jayne stepped out of his boots and pants and pushed his boxers off. Immediately, he reached up and scratched himself.
"Oh my god. Stop that," Simon said as he instantly turned to Jayne. "Get on the table. How long have you had this?"
"Just a bit of rash," Jayne said as he got up on the table. This were a bit uncomfortable laying with his parts exposed. River wandered closer, her fingers brushing across his shoulder, and Jayne curled his fists around the edge of the table and tried to ignore when Simon slipped on gloves and started handling him. Itched like a whore down there.
"A rash with signs of secondary infection."
"He gonna be okay?" Mal asked from the doorway.
"Captain, would you get River out of here, please," Simon asked as he poked at Jayne's balls. Jayne scowled at him, but the man was too interested in torturing Jayne to notice.
"Your sister does what she wants, in case you ain't noticed. Jayne, that don't look good," Mal said as he stepped closer.
"Doc need to either stop touching it or start scratching because he's just making it worse," Jayne complained as he held on to the edge of the table as tight as he could.
"Balanitis with a slight secondary infection. I'll get cream," Simon announced as he finally let go of Jayne. Jayne reached down to scratch and Simon blocked his hand.
"Stop that. The more you scratch, the worse it's going to get."
"Wrong," River said.
"Good because I ain't going to itch and not scratch," Jayne said as he shoved Simon's hand out of the way and started scratching. River was there, catching his hand and pulling it away, and Jayne could only stare at the ceiling as he thought up colorful curses.
"You can't scratch. Simon will get you cream that makes it feel better, but it's not balanitis."
Mal stepped forward, a real disgusted look on his face as he stared at Jayne exposed on the table. "You ain't the doc, River. And are you sure that ain't dangerous, Simon? Because I've never seen a man's penis looking quite that unhappy."
"Just a rash," Jayne complained. Weren't good for a man's ego to have his prick judged like that.
"A bumpy rash. A really red bumpy rash on parts that I don't reckon I would tolerate any kind of rash at all. That ain't catching it is?" Mal took a quick step back.
"It happens when you aren't regularly acquainted with bathwater," Simon said, the concern and sympathy of earlier largely gone.
"Intertrigo," River said definitively as she reached down and touched Jayne's cock. Idiot thing started hardening, which just made the itch worse.
"Don't be silly, River, a man would have to--. Stop That!" Simon came back over and pulled River's hand away from Jayne's cock. Mal was now standing with his back to them, leaning against the wall near the door. Jayne hadn't seen the captain move that fast since Reavers was after them.
"River, you don't ever touch a man there," Simon said, his voice caught between panic and patience.
"Ever?" River asked all innocent-like. Jayne didn't know what were coming, but he'd seen that sweet expression often enough to not trust it.
"What?" Simon asked.
"You think I shouldn't ever touch a man?" She cocked her head to the side with an injured expression.
"I…" Simon stopped. "This isn't a topic for discussion right here."
"You think I'll go through my whole life and never touch a man? You don't want me to have any life or happiness?" she asked, her voice small and sad. "Don't you want me to ever have what you and Kaylee have when you get all lost in each other's bodies and the feeling of hot skin in the bed? You want me to be alone?" Simon turned all kinds of red while River just had an expression like someone had killed Santa Clause. Jayne knew she were playing her brother, knew it and still wanted to punch the sha gua right in the face for making River look so sad.
"I didn't--. I mean--. River." Simon staggered to a verbal stop. River looked on the verge of crying. Jayne gave her points for manipulation, but it were making his stomach sour.
"Ain't helping with the itch, you two fighting," Jayne interrupted the staring match. River still had ahold of his one hand, and the slave cuff on the other were a mighty big reminder that if she told him not to do something, he weren't supposed to do it. And if that something involved everyone looking at his cock like it were about ready to fall off, he'd be following her advice.
"Here," Simon shoved a tube of something at him, and Jayne didn't waste any time getting it open and slathering some over his penis. The burning itch vanished as Jayne stroked it into the sore skin.
"Oh my god, you don't have to--. River, you need to leave," Simon said, his eyes focused on what Jayne was doing. Jayne finished wiping the rest of the cream off on his hip.
"Got a woman touching me, so it ain't my fault," Jayne pointed out as he considered his cock which was making a valiant effort to get hard even if it wasn't actually getting far. River's hand had drifted from Jayne's wrist up to rest on his hip bone.
"I really don't want to look, do I?" Mal asked as he stood at the door and watched the hallway.
"Nope," River agreed. "And it's not balanitis, it's intertrigo."
"River, a man would have to pleasure himself... oh... " Simon paused.
"Four, five times a day for the last eight days," Jayne filled in for him quickly enough. He swung his legs around and hopped off the table, but when he turned around, Simon had that expression like his face done fell open. "What?" Jayne snatched his clothes off the floor and started pulling them on.
"You've... four or five times a day... with a rash like that?"
"Painful. The pain puts an edge on all the round, but he shouldn't hurt himself, he should let me hurt him," River said. Simon spared her a glance and then looked back at Jayne.
"To get that damage, he would have to be hurting himself. What would possess you to... do that?" Simon finally got his mouth to close as Jayne did up his buckle. He cast a look at his boots. He'd feel better with them on, but this was getting to the point in the conversation where being bent over were just too much risk.
"It's called jerking off," Jayne sneered.
"It's called masturbation," Simon crossed his arms and stared at Jayne. "Excessive masturbation. Potentially obsessive even."
"Too much friction and heat and pressure and now he's all itchy. No more jerking off for Jayne," River said as she sat on the exam table and curled her legs under her. She'd lost her boots at some point so she was back to bare feet.
Simon sighed. "River, this really isn't something you should get involved in. Jayne, if you want to get undressed again, I'll check to see if you've caused any damage other than the rash."
"He didn't," River announced airily.
"I'll take her word for it," Jayne said as he retreated to a spot near the door and leaned against the wall. Mal glanced over at him.
"Have to say, I don't know whether to call that impressive or stupid," Mal commented. "Five times a day, Jayne?"
"You try having her rubbing up against you. It was either my hand or her," Jayne commented. He knew this was starting right down a road he didn't want to go down, but better to take on the enemy face on than have them chasing your back with a scalpel and a needle full of drugs.
"Her?" Simon looked from River to Jayne and back. "River?" he finally asked, focusing on his sister.
"I bought Jayne," River announced proudly as she looked at Jayne with that new-found puppy expression.
"I thought the captain was going to fetch him." Simon sounded confused, not angry, so Jayne figured he had missed the important part of her announcement.
"Oh, I tried. River outbid me. Sold my gorram shuttle to get the money to outbid me, but the law says that River holds Jayne's paper, and I can't do nothing about that," Mal said as he turned to face Simon. Now he and Jayne flanked the door and Simon just looked from one to the other in confusion. Yeah, he knew he were missing something; he just weren't too sure what.
"River?" he finally turned back to his sister.
"I put a cuff on Jayne, hold his paper, only he says he won't have sex with me until you see that this is my choice, so he goes and gets stupid and hurts himself instead of letting me hurt him." River summed it up pretty good, and once again Simon's whole face just kinda fell open. "Would have made him stop, but he needed to have the edge on all the round and he says I can't hurt him yet. Can't hurt him and I can't have sex with him until you know. So now you know."
"You." Simon took a step back and braced himself on the counter. "Him?"
River nodded happily and slid off the table before going to Jayne, fitting herself into his side, and he rested his arm on her shoulders. She looked up at him. "Can we have sex now? Promise to be careful with your damaged parts."
Simon was breathing heavy like he was about to pass out. "Captain, I don't know what this man-ape has done, but unless you do something to fix this, I'm going to fix that rash by cutting it off," Simon said, his voice shaking.
"Aiya. Told me I were always safe on your table," Jayne protested.
"You ain't on my table!" Simon shot back. Jayne traded a concerned look with Mal. He hadn't ever heard Simon so upset that he forgot his grammar before.
"My choice," River said firmly, her arm still around Jayne's waist.
"No!" Simon shouted. "No, it isn't your choice. They cut into your head so you can't control what you're thinking, so it's not your choice to bed some addle-pate, some simpleton who can't even go a month without selling himself into slavery. This isn't your choice." Simon's voice rose to an uneven shout.
"Simon, what's going on here?" Kaylee appeared at the door, looking around with concern. "Zoe said you might want some privacy, but it's hard to let you be private with all the shouting and insulting going on."
"He seduced my sister," Simon shouted, poking a finger at Jayne. "I don't know how, and I don't care, but he needs to get his hands off River."
"You planning on trying to make me? I'd like to see that, little man," Jayne warned darkly.
"Play nice," River said, sounding all the world like Kaylee for a second. For her part, Kaylee was just looking confused.
"River and Jayne?" she asked.
"I figure that's about the face I made when I heard," Mal agreed. "Course, Jayne made a face even worse at the time, but River put her bid on him, and she's been working hard to convince all of us, Jayne included, that she's serious about this."
"I am serious. I like Jayne's brain," she said as she rested her head on his shoulder. Simon spluttered so hard that Jayne thought he might choke on his own tongue.
"Oh," Kaylee said. Nothing more, just 'oh.'
"Trust me, don't go asking after it because she'll give you some explanations that will leave you wanting to wash out the inside of your brain with a real strong soap. In fact," Mal said with a face like he'd been sucking a lemon, "if she starts talking on Reaver thoughts, just run."
"Are you okay with this captain?" Kaylee asked real soft.
"Me?" Mal looked over at her in surprise. "Aren't you worried about River?"
Kaylee shrugged. "I reckon River can take care of herself just fine, and Jayne don't appear to be suffering, but I always figured you and Jayne would end up together, captain, and now Jayne has River and you're alone."
Mal's mouth dropped open. "You knew, too? Why is it that everyone on my whole gorram ship knowed that Jayne were available, excepting me?" he demanded.
"You didn't know?" Kaylee blinked.
"No, and Zoe said you didn't neither."
Kaylee made a disgusted sound. "Everybody always thinks I'm so naive. Ain't so naive as to miss what's right under my nose."
"Well, next time something's right under your nose, you mind letting me in on it?" Mal asked.
"You bet, captain," she smiled and then looked thoughtful. "Does that mean you want to know about how--"
"Simon knows now, so can we start having sex?" River asked again, interrupting Kaylee. Simon was still clinging to the counter, looking back and forth like one of them dolls that nods in the wind. "I'll be careful with your broken penis."
"His penis?" Kaylee yelped, worry in her eyes, and Jayne weren't having no pity.
"Jerked off too much trying to not do the wrong thing, but if I ain't going to get any credit for not bedding River yet, ain't sure why I bothered," Jayne said, feeling more than a little put upon.
"Credit," Simon almost choked on the word. "Credit? You want credit for not bedding her?" Simon's voice started small and built up to a good rant. "She's a child! If you did bed her, I'd ask the captain to put you off the ship. Of course, even if you did bed her, I still wouldn't sell you to the alliance."
Jayne froze, his anger and guilt rising up like a monster out of the dark. "Your sister done stabbed me. Ain't like I didn't have cause."
"Yes, the cause closest to Jayne Cobb's heart--money. You want money? I'll pay you to leave my sister alone. Come on, how much will it take to get you to keep your hands off her?" Simon pulled his wallet out and started yanking credit notes out.
"Don't need your money," Jayne said, not sure when he'd gotten so off-balance in this fight, but this weren't going the way he'd planned.
"Oh, maybe you've already sold her out. Get a better price from some Alliance doctor? Plan to walk her to some pick up point with your arm around her shoulders?"
Mal stepped forward. "Now, Simon. Jayne ain't the one doing any selling. He's the one who went and got himself sold, and as far as I've seen, River's taking the job of owning him a fair sight more seriously than I would have thought. Look at him, Simon."
"I am." Simon growled the words. He was too, glaring hard enough that Jayne could feel the hatred sinking into his skin.
Mal sighed. "I ain't never knowed Jayne Cobb to wear pants that tight or shirts that button up without someone making him. It were River's choice. Jayne ain't the one doing the pushing here."
"So, if he lets River pick his shirt, that makes it okay for him to sleep with her?" Simon spat the words in anger.
"He's mine." River stepped forward, and Jayne could see in the way she held her body that she was near to an edge. He'd spent a week on his knees watching her every move, the way her legs moved slow and steady when she were happy, the way a book that upset her made her go all stiff, the way her body turned into something alien when she wanted to kill… one of the Mockingbird crew had come mighty close. Now her arms were stiff at her sides, head tilted forward as she faced off against her brother. Jayne figured Simon'd be safe enough, but she weren't always aware of whoever happened to be on the side when she was upset.
"Captain. How about you and Kaylee leave us to handle this for a bit," Jayne said as soft as he could.
"I don't think that's a real good idea, Jayne," Kaylee immediately answered, but Mal looked from River back to Jayne again.
"Jayne?"
"Yep," Jayne answered.
"Gao yang jong duh goo yang. Kaylee, let's leave them to do their talking," Mal said as he caught Kaylee's arm and started backing out of the room.
"But, cap…"
"Kaylee, we're leaving," Mal said as he dragged her out of the room.
"What?" Simon asked, and Jayne could see River's head come up, the aggression drain as her brother's anger gave way to confusion. "Captain?" Simon called out, and then Jayne watched the anger settle in again as he looked at Jayne. "You do this, and I will either get him to kick you off this ship, or I will take my sister and leave," he said, his voice deadly quiet.
"No!" River yelled, both fists coming down on the treatment table he was holding hard enough to leave twin dents.
"Mei mei," Simon yelped as he jumped back.
"No, I'm not leaving. He's mine. Stop thinking those things."
"Don't matter what the little man's thinking," Jayne said. "You put the cuff on me, and the law says he can't come between that."
"That's funny, you turning to the law. I didn't think you cared about the law."
Jayne spared Simon a dirty look before he focused on River with her tight body language. Just too much hate for one room, he reckoned. "You know, I ain't going to hold it against you that you're acting like a chun zi. You gave up your life for your sister, so I imagine it ain't easy seeing her make a life on her own, but you hurt her, and I'll kill you before you have a chance to take a breath. Won't feel bad or angry, and I'll probably even feel some respect that you had the balls to put your freedom on the line for her, but I'll kill you."
Jayne was calm, about as calm as he'd ever felt, but Simon turned white. River had been focusing on her brother, her head bent forward and her hair hiding her face, but now she turned to Jayne.
She stepped in front of him, her hand coming up to rest on his chest.
"This… this is who you pick mei mei? A killer? A stone-cold killer. A gorram dumb stone-cold killer at that?" Simon demanded. River stood, her hand braced on Jayne's chest as she breathed deep. Jayne laid his hand over the back of hers where it rested against his chest.
Simon just kept right on going. "He tried to turn us in to the feds. No one ever taught him right from wrong and now he's trying to take you away. Maybe if Mal took a bullwhip to him, he'd learn that he needs to have respect for other people, he needs to have respect for you."
Jayne looked up at Simon. "What I did were wrong. Mal's the captain, and River's my owner, so I guess they both got the right to take me to task for getting stupid, but you ain't. And I got more respect for your sister than you do. I don't go throwing my hate and anger into her mind where she can't hide. I don't go bottling things up and poisoning her with 'em. I weren't kidding. You either get control so you ain't hurting her no more, or I'll kill you."
"Do you really think I'd ever hurt her?" Simon demanded, but at least now he had some uncertainty in his voice.
"Anger." River's voice was low, verging on a moan.
"Mei mei?"
"Ain't about you and me, or else I'd beat the shit out of you and have done with it, so listen up. You ever stop and listen to her instead of shoving some needle in her arm?"
"Of course I listen." Simon didn't sound angry at all now, now he sounded so worried that he didn't even care if Jayne was in the room. He stepped forward, reaching out to lay a hand on River's shoulder, and she darted behind Jayne.
"Mei mei!" Simon tried to follow and River retreated so they ended up playing a round of ring around the Jayne. "River!"
She stopped in front of Jayne, one arm outstretched toward Simon, holding him away as she put her back to Jayne.
"No!" she snapped. "I can't shut people out but that doesn't mean I don't make my own choice," she just about growled. "I can hear you and Jayne and Mal and Kaylee and Zoe and I chose Jayne. I chose him." She stopped, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Jayne reached up and put a hand on her arm.
"Don't want your anger with elephant feet in my brain. Stampedes so fast I can't move out of the way. Anger, fear, accusation, all like lightening. Stop it." River opened her eyes and looked right at Simon.
"Mei mei, this isn't you," Simon said softly. "I have something that would help you, quiet your mind," he said as he edged toward his cabinet.
"No," she said firmly. "This is me. You just don't want to see me. You want me to be the girl I was before you left."
"That's who you should be," Simon soothed her, but Jayne could hear the frustration in his voice. "If they hadn't cut your brain open, that's who you would be."
River was shaking her head now. "I'd be grown up. I'd be getting sexed, and you wouldn't have no say in it. You'd hate whoever I bedded and complain to Mom and Dad, but I'd be grown. I am grown."
Simon stopped at that. "River."
"Baby, toddler, child, teen, grown, old. Always moving. Leaving." Jayne didn't realize the last was a command until she pulled at his arm. Still in his bare feet, he started backing up, not wanting to put his back to the doc right now.
"River?" Simon called.
"She's had as much of your stupidity and hate as she can handle in her brain right now. Give her space to recover or I swear, I will protect her even if I have to kill you," Jayne said seriously as he pulled River out into the hall. His quarters were farther away from the others than hers, so he headed that way, hoping they were still his and still unlocked. The ship was cold under his bare feet, and slap of skin against metal sounded wrong to his ear, but Jayne weren't about to go back for his boots. He just hurried River along before something else could go wrong.
Turning the corner, Jayne spotted the captain waiting at the juncture of two corridors near Jayne's room. "She okay?" he asked.
"Yep," Jayne agreed shortly. Weren't in much of a mood for conversation, especially now that River had fallen into silence.
"Simon okay?"
"For now," Jayne answered. "His table ain't the best."
"You or River?"
"River. Were me, I would have just broken his neck."
Mal sighed. "I ain't sure he ever truly thought about what it meant for her, having all of us in her head like she got. Maybe I'll talk to him."
"Well, you explain that she's my priority now. I warned him, and I'm warning you, I think he's doing her permanent harm, and I'll kill him. I'll do it quick and painless, but I'll kill him." Jayne turned to go to his room.
"This is my boat, Jayne," Mal said, reaching out and grabbing Jayne's arm to make him stop. Jayne stopped, and River stopped with him. "I already told you once, we don't turn on our own."
"I recall you told me to stab you in the front next time I was going to stab you in the back," Jayne said. "I'm just giving you that warning because if he hurts her, I'll do what I have to do. And I know you're the captain and if you figure I deserve a horse whipping or getting thrown out the airlock, I'll accept that, but that won't keep me from killing anyone who rips her apart." Jayne stared at Mal, a coldness in him that he hadn't ever felt. It weren't that he didn't care, it's that he cared so much that caring just froze out all else, even his fear of the one man who'd ever made Jayne face his own death.
"What are you defining as tearing her apart?" Mal asked. "Should I go put Zoe on guard at the infirmary now?"
Jayne looked down. River was leaning into him, but her breathing were calm enough. "Don't reckon so." River looked up at him and then over to Mal.
"His edges hurt so much more than others," she said softly. "Know all my tender spots. So much anger. So much guilt like big boulders holding back the water."
Mal sighed. "This is why I have a set in stone rule against family on a ship. Family always do know how to hurt us most, River. I'll talk to Simon. And Jayne," Mal looked at him with a deadly calm. "You kill someone on my boat without him having a gun pointed at your gut and a horsewhipping is the nicest thing I'll do to you."
Jayne didn't answer. With a long-suffering expression and a long sigh, Mal turned back toward the infirmary and headed out.
Jayne started River moving toward his quarters again. He had River inside and was closing the hatch when she sat on the floor at his feet.
"River?" he asked. Usually, he were the one on the floor. They'd have to get some rugs in here or his knees were going to be mighty sore. River reached out and traced the top of his foot with a finger.
"No boots."
"Left 'em with your brother. Be lucky if he doesn't take a knife to 'em."
"You were too busy with me to think about boots." She looked up and smiled and then with a sinuous twist, she was on her feet.
"Yeah…"
"Care about me more than the boots."
Now Jayne just looked at her like she really had lost her mind. River smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Hate being confused," she muttered, her head against his chest. Jayne walked to the bunk, River dangling from him as she bent her legs up.
"Makes it easier when you just kill 'em, doesn't it?" Jayne asked.
Slowly River nodded. "Or hit 'em really hard so they stop thinking so loud. Can't hit brother, though, not even when he's being stupid. And you can't kill brother," she said as she slid down to the ground and then sat on the edge of the bunk. She pulled on Jayne's hand, and Jayne sank to his knees in front of her.
"Can I threaten to kill him?" Jayne asked. River brought both hands up and cupped his face, her fingers threading through his hair and exploring his head, the curve of his neck, the edge of his jaw. Slowly she nodded her head.
"Good," Jayne said, his cock starting to twitch as her hands stroked down his arms. "Don't rightly know if I could stop threatening him at least." River's fingertips traveled down his arms, stopping when she reached his wrist. Pulling his left hand up, she opened her eyes to stare at the slave cuff, her fingers exploring it before she turned his hand over and traced the lines on his palm.
"Just tell me what you want, and I'll do it," Jayne said softly.
"You giving me everything?" she asked.
"Yep. Already told you I'd give you my pain, back in there with Simon. I ain't taking the cuff lightly, and I never meant to deny you anything, but I had to have that out without everyone thinking I went and seduced you. Can't live with doing something they can't forgive me for," Jayne admitted softly, and that were sounding a whole lot like weakness.
"You're all itchy and I have all the sharp edges in my mind. Want to take you somewhere nice, and I ain't anywhere nice right now," River said softly.
"Don't have to be nice, I'll follow you anyway." Jayne shifted as his knees complained about the metal floor.
River slowly lay down, pulling at Jayne until he climbed in the bed with her. It wasn't exactly a big bunk, but she curled around him so she didn't take up any space at all. Jayne could almost feel the fatigue laying on her like a blanket, and he felt a flare of anger that Simon could be so gorram clueless. River pinched him.
"Ain't like I got anything else to think about, laying here," Jayne defended himself without even pretending ignorance.
"Tell me about Vera," River said softly. Her hand stroked his hip and tugged at his shirt until she could slip a hand inside and just rest it against his warm stomach.
"Tell everyone I got it off a mercenary I killed," Jayne started slowly. He'd told that story so often he believed it himself most nights when he lay here looking at her. Mal had hung her back on the wall of Jayne's quarters, and Jayne could see her now if he looked over his shoulder. He glanced that way and then looked back at River. Her hair had fallen into her face, and he brought his hand up, brushing it away with his thumb.
River poked him in the stomach. "Keep telling," she said.
"Yes, mistress," he joked, but then his thoughts turned to the story, and the smile just faded. "She belonged to my step-father. He always told me I were worthless, that I'd end up in some gorram jail and break my ma's heart…"
Jayne lay in his bunk, stroking River's hair and telling her the story of the night he left home until her eyes drifted closed and she finally slept. Then he just lay there watching her, catching sight of the black cuff locked around his wrist every time he brought his hand up to stroke her long hair.
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Mal's rule about no family on board made smile a bit given that's completely ironic. ^_^
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Laurie
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I love your Jayne. I love his protective streak towards River, and how he's come to just accept that she owns him. The little comments like needing to get rugs for his rooms or else his knees are going to get mighty sore, and how it threw him when SHE went to the floor where HE normally was.
I love the SMALL things, the touches, the way he just TOOK Simon's anger, trying to shunt it away from River while offering her a place to "hide". How he knew her mood just from her posture and how he was so gentle with her there at the end, holding her until she slept (Just like he did while on the auction block). I love how he just "accepts" that he won't scratch because SHE told him he couldn't, how he never QUESTIONS not killing Simon when RIVER tells him (after telling Mal NOTHING will stop him if Simon continues to hurt River).
Favorite Jayne line. "Can I threaten to kill him?"
i LOVE the dynamic you've set up here, it SO works for me. River's providing the Strong Hand that Jayne needs while Jayne provides a Stability and Love that River needs... a love that SEES her as a woman even if it is a Crazy Woman.
Thank you so much for sharing this and i can't wait for more.
Peace,
the kendermouse
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And yeah, I really am intentionally putting in there moments where Jayne really rejects Mal's word as law. Oh, Mal is the captain, and Jayne's still plenty loyal, but River owns him... totally owns him, and he'll follow her first and foremost. I think River has to enjoy those moments knowing that she's the center of Jayne's life. And I think that gives her the ability to let herself center on him too.
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It was good to see Jayne so protective and sweet.
I am absolutely loving this story.
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I should have known by now to trust you. I love River, and while Jayne isn't one of my faves, you are making me get him and understand/like him better.
You are doing a really good job with this. i love the dynamic that you are setting up, and the way that you paint a whole picture that is so engrossing. Looking forward to more of this.
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I think you pitched the Simon anger just right. It didn't seem OTT or like he was accepting too easily. It always amazes me just how blinkered and almost stubbornly stupid Simon can get given how smart he is. :D
I'm really enjoying this story.
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I was highly amused to see Kaylee telling Mal she was waiting on him and Jayne, too. ::giggles:: the things that man missed out on for being so blind! Although now I want to know what she had started telling him before she got cut off =)
Favorite line: "Have to say, I don't know whether to call that impressive or stupid," Mal commented. "Five times a day, Jayne?" He's so impressed =D
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And I think Mal's impressed. I'm impressed.
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That was such a perfect way of describing it <3
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...
...
Huh.
Anyways, go Team River, and I figure that Simon'll get it together eventually. After all, he's a good guy at heart, he's just...bad...at social cues. Yeah. Yeah that's it.
You redeemed Riley, I put my full trust in you.
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And yes, Simon is a basically good guy, but this was just not even something he was prepared to deal with.
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I also love the rhythm the two of them are beginning to find. Jayne is getting comfortable with his place in this new world.
Great chapter. Thanks for sharing.
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And they are coming to a pretty comfortable rhythm, Jayne and River.
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This whole thing about Mal not knowing it carcking me up to bits!
I loved Simon's reaction. So harsh, and so believable.
Wow, the whole end with Jayne and River - So beautiful.
Reading the story got me in the mood for some Firefly, and I was watching Jaynestown last night. The first scene of that ep, I so see the point your Zoe made about Jayne following his captain unconditionally for the first time. It's when Jayne's taping a gun to his body and then Mal tells him he can't and why he's questioning something that's already been decided. And then Jayne rips it off. It may just be tape, but the look on his face says it all. Oooooo! All the things I'm noticing.
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And Simon was plenty upset. He feels like he needs to protect his sister, and he did, all the way up to the point where River found herself and her own way out of the madness of the Reavers. I don't think she'll ever be really normal, but she doesn't need a caretaker any more.
And I'm so glad you're seeing what I saw in those episodes. And in the movie, Jayne followed into Reaver space, but he got downright upset when talking about how Mal was trying to drive them all away. The man who in the first episode didn't fear anything but Reavers is more distressed at being driven away than at being taken into almost-sure death traps. That just screams sub to me. Strong sub, but sub.
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Heee, poor Jayne, unappreciated as he is. That was reminded me of Spike, wanting credit for not eating the wounded in the Bronze, when Olaf the troll was in town. *g*
I suspect Simon may still need some convincing. That should be fun. I hope Mal manages to knock some understanding into him.
And I've run out of time. Damn! I might have to wait until next week to catch up, by which time, you'll be miles ahead again, if your muse keeps up this pace.
I am really enjoying this, so I don't want to read it in bits and bobs. I want time to really read.
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And I should actually finish next week if the muse isn't lying to me.