![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Thoughts Colored Ugly 10
I'm going to be so sorry in five and a half hours when I have to get up for work, but the muse insisted. See, Jayne and River are on a collision course and not communicating well, and that just had to be done before the muse would let me sleep.
Thoughts Colored Ugly 10/?
River/Jayne
Rated: ADULT
Warnings: Dom/sub, slavery, angst.
Previous parts
An hour later, after the quickest bath in the history of the 'verse, Jayne stood outside the door to River's room, freshly washed with his new knife on his new belt holding up his new britches. Mal waited near the door to his own room.
"Ain't in need of a babysitter," Jayne growled at the man. He hadn't managed more than a dozen words to the captain since leaving the room, and half of them weren't polite. Part of him knew that Mal was struggling to say something supportive, but he was having trouble caring about that part.
"If you need something…" Mal let his words just sort of die when Jayne gave him a glare. Taking a deep breath, Jayne pushed open the door and looked around the room. River was sitting on the window seat, Zoe's book in her lap as she read. She looked up and smiled.
"Don't smell like a horse no more," she announced as he closed the door firmly behind him. Whatever humiliating thing were going to happen, he didn't need Mal watching. Were only so much a man's ego could take.
She tilted her head at him.
"What now?" Jayne asked as he glanced toward the bed. He couldn't see any chains, but the ring set into the wall above the bed wasn't all that subtle of a reminder that this was a slave world. He wondered whether all the rooms had that or if River had asked for it special.
"Time to sleep," she said, looking confused.
Jayne just stood and looked at her. Whatever was going to happen, he just wanted it to happen so he could quit worrying.
River frowned. "I'm not going to take what you don't give," she said softly as she put the book down next to her.
"Seems you been taking a lot more than I've been giving. Asking Mal if he'll cut off my balls and sayin' I'll sleep with you. I know I ain't got no legal right to complain, and I know I ain't smart enough to talk you outta saying or doing whatever you gorram want, so—" Jayne stopped. There wasn't a 'so' to follow that up. The first two were just truths, they didn't need to lead nowhere.
"Thoughts colored ugly," River said as she stood, and Jayne figured that was a pretty good description of it right now.
"Thought that's what you were wishing for, someone whose thoughts were colored about as ugly as the ones you already have floating around in that gorram crazy mind of yours. Well, you know what they say, if wishes were horses, beggars would eat mighty good on horse flesh."
"Your thoughts aren't ugly. Your thoughts are shiny only now they're all ugly. Chou ba guai." River started swaying, her eyes closed as she fell into whatever spell she was fixing on having. Jayne sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, watching her as he pulled his boots off.
"Ain't looking to send you spinning off into your dark place," he sighed. "But I'm not into this gorram game you're playing, so whatever you're going to do, just be done with it so I can catch some sleep. Unless I'm not allowed on the bed," Jayne said, and suddenly he almost hoped that would be the worst of it. After three weeks of a thin straw mattress in a cage, sleeping on the floor didn't seem like no hardship.
River stopped, her whole body just ceased like a wind-up doll that was out of spring. Jayne watched her suspiciously as he pulled off his second boot. Slowly her eyes came up to meet his. "Little mice feet," she whispered.
"Gorram crazy. I don't translate crazy," Jayne said as he pulled off his belt and curled it around his new knife and put it on the side table. His fingers seemed thick as he unbuttoned his shirt, but maybe these were just small buttons. He got the last ones free and pulled his shirt off. Undershirt and pants was about as undressed as he was getting unless she was going to order him to strip. Mann's farm hadn't ever looked as good as it did in his memory right now.
"So, I been good enough for you today or are you going to chain me up like a dog?" Jayne demanded as he held his wrists out. River was still watching him.
"All closed," she moaned.
"Ain't my problem," Jayne said as he slipped under the sheets and slid to the far side of the bed. Felt wrong, keeping his back to someone, especially someone as dangerous as River, but right now Jayne felt about as raw as he ever had. Captain thought he were some sort of victim over here being ravaged. Captain and doc were both going to have his balls when they figured out where River got her notions from, no matter what the captain said now. Even Kaylee would look at him with them tragic eyes of hers and stammer and try and tell him that everything would still be okay just because that's what she did. He just couldn't figure if Kaylee would be more upset about him corrupting River or River raping him. She might just explode from trying to calculate who deserved more pity.
Jayne took a deep breath and tried to not curse out the whole gorram 'verse.
"Colored so ugly," River muttered again, and Jayne felt the bed dip. He didn't answer. A hand rested on his shoulder, and Jayne tried to hold himself as stiff and still as he could. "I wouldn't ever hurt you," River said gently, her hand just resting on his arm.
"Ain't so fragile as that. I hurt plenty of people in my day, and if you want to do some of the hurting, I'm not in a position legally or morally to tell you not to, but this game stops," Jayne said to the wall. River didn't move behind him.
"Because of what I said to Mal," River said slowly, like she was putting piece of a puzzle together. Then Jayne turned to look at her.
"For someone who's so smart, sometimes you're about as dumb as I am," Jayne said as he looked at her confused face. "He's in there thinking I'm needing rescue like some gorram damsel in distress."
River cocked her head toward Mal's room.
"At the bathhouse, he were telling me how women couldn't blame themselves for getting raped, but he were looking at me. He were looking at me like I was one of them women in Kaylee's books who always need rescuing." Jayne pushed himself up so he was sitting in the bed.
"You want to take that whip to me?" he demanded. "You want to use those chains and whip me until I'm bleeding just because you think I look good in red? I won't make no complaint, but don't gorram make me out to be weak. Ain't weak," Jayne said, his jaw almost hurting from how long he'd clenched his teeth.
River blinked at him and slid backwards off the bed. Jayne watched her, but she just stood in the middle of the room.
"You going for the chains and whip?" he asked, keeping his voice as carefully neutral as he could. She shook her head.
"Then I'm going to sleep." He turned back over and lay down, but he knew he wouldn't get to sleep any time soon. The door opening and then closing softly didn't do anything to make him less furious. If she were over there comparing notes with Mal, he was going to strangle her in her sleep. Mind, she'd probably wake up and break his gorram neck, but at least then he could die with a little more dignity than Mal thinking he were some poor little waif who needed rescuing.
Time moved slow, the distant sounds of the town changing as the night brought out a different sort of folk. The Henrietta liked doing layovers here, the docks had plenty of rough play for deckhands looking to let off stream. Jayne played with the idea of going down there. He'd feel better if he got to knock a few heads together in a good old-fashioned fight.
About the only thing that kept him in the bed was the thought of River putting him in chains for wandering off. And the law would be on her side. Not even the captain could stop her from parading him around in a collar, his hands chained behind his back. Course right now, he'd rather be paraded around like that then give Mal one word asking for help.
Jayne fisted the sheets as he tried to keep himself from doing something gorram stupid. He hadn't been this angry since the night he'd left home. Still had a line of hard scar from where the switch had broken skin that night. The bastard never would have been able to do it if his gorram friends hadn't helped. That's why Jayne had listed Mal as next of kin. If he died, he still didn't want his gan ni niang stepfather getting Vera back. There were consequences for actions. He done humiliated Jayne in front of half the town. Discipline. Jayne snorted and then shifted over to his back, tucking his hands under his head.
"Losing it, Cobb," he whispered to himself. These thoughts weren't helping him any. The whine of a hover went past, and Jayne closed his eyes. He missed the sounds of Serenity, the noise of the engines that always rumbled under all the other sounds. Hull full of cattle or running empty the way Mal did half the time… didn't make no nevermind because Serenity always had that rumble to her. He'd gotten used to it.
A knock sounded at the door, and Jayne ignored it. If it were River, she didn't gorram need to knock, and if it were anyone else, Jayne had a right to gorram ignore 'em. Knock came and went again before Jayne heard voices out in the hall.
The third time, the pounding on the door didn't leave much room for ignoring it, and Jayne got out of bed and yanked the door open. Mal stood there in socks and trousers, a hotel employee standing beside him.
"Got trouble. Get your shoes," Mal ordered before he turned and headed for his room. The hotel employee started for the stairs, but Jayne reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him into the room.
"What's going on?" he demanded as he pulled his boots on.
"The pit sent a runner. There's a girl who left this as her address before she went into the fights."
"Why the pit send someone here?" Jayne asked pulling his shirt on as fast as he could. He'd been there once or twice and beating the shit out of some nameless opponent in some dirty bare knuckle fighting.
"She won't leave the ring. They're afraid she's going to kill someone. They sent to the magistrate, but he said they couldn't use no guns, but if she kills someone…" the man shrugged. "Were they really talking about that girl who's registered in here?" the man asked all disbelievingly. Jayne slipped on his belt and knife.
"Seen that girl go up against Reavers," Jayne said, and the man lost all color. "She ain't nothing to be fooling with." Jayne didn't finish the thought, but he certainly knew she were a good sight more dangerous right now. He'd gone and pushed her over. She'd gorram told him that dark thoughts sent right at her sent her off into her dark place, and he'd struck out with everything he had.
Ai-yah. Tyen-ah. He'd done a lot of things to be sorry for in his life, including trying to turn River and Simon in to the Alliance back on Ariel, but this ranked right up there. Were one thing to hit an opponent in a fair fight. Him trying to trick the Tams into Alliance custody felt almost fair what with both of them being so much smarter than him. Sending River off into her own mind when he knew she didn't have no control over it felt like stabbing a man in the back. And Jayne Cobb did his stabbing in a man's front.
When he hit the hall, the employee still looking shell-shocked and pale behind him, Mal was waiting at the top of the stairs.
"You think it's River?" Mal asked. Jayne gave the man a cold glare before he headed down the stairs.
"You know where you going or are we just flying off half-cocked?" Mal called.
"The pit. Bare-knuckle fighting for prize money," Jayne said as he hurried out into the night.
"Gos se. She'll kill 'em," Mal breathed.
"Yeah, and then the real trouble'll start," Jayne said as he broke into a trot. Mal ran at his side, and they ducked around drunken ship crew and townspeople out for some fun that would be illegal on any core planet. "Round there," Jayne pointed to a squat building near the docks. Men were wandering toward it, and Jayne had to dodge around a drunk who wasn't walking in a straight line.
He and Mal got to the front door at the same time, shoving others out of their way. "Spectating or fighting?" the bouncer asked, his finger on the trigger that would unlock the main door.
"Neither. You sent for us, because of the girl," Mal explained.
"Fighting. Jayne Cobb staying at the Garden Hotel," Jayne said as he slapped the money down. The bouncer checked him in, took his money and pressed the little button. He could hear Mal still arguing with the man as the door clicked shut again.
Inside, the air was dim with smoke, and the roar of the crowd louder than Jayne had ever heard. Damn near knocked him off his feet as he pushed his way through the line to the man who stood by the entrance to the pit itself.
The stands were packed, men standing shoulder to shoulder. On a normal night, men would sit and drink and bet on which of the competitor was about to end up bleeding in the dirt without all that much heat, but tonight's crowd felt more like a dog fight. Men screamed, looking for blood. And Jayne didn't have to look to know that all that was directed right down at River.
"I'm fighting her next," Jayne said. The pit might have sent for someone to get River under control, but they sure in guai weren't stopping the entertainment.
"Hey, we're set up next," complained a young man Jayne vaguely recognized. He was closely flanked by four others, all wearing the same crew insignia.
"You sending groups against her?" Jayne demanded.
"She wanted…" the man who ran the pit started to explain, but the young hothead cut him off.
"She took out three of our crew, but we're going to teach her a thing or two," he boasted. Jayne reached out and grabbed the kid by the shirt.
"You go in there, and your captain ain't going to have a crew tomorrow, so you just gave your spot in line to me," he said darkly. This close, he could smell the whiskey.
"No way. She's ours," he growled. Jayne cocked back his fist and hit the kid so hard that his eyes rolled back and he slumped to the ground.
"He gave his spot in line to me," Jayne snapped at the man with the list of fighters.
"To us," a voice came from behind Jayne. "Jayne Cobb and Malcolm Reynolds. We're on that list of yours," Mal said, pointing his finger at the datapad the man was holding. The pit man glanced down at the unconscious kid and then leaned up to look over into the ring. The crowd had grown quiet.
"You're up gentlemen," he said with a wave toward the door leading down into the pit. "You may want to rethink this. Two versus her isn't exactly a fair fight."
"And how many's she fought already?" Jayne demanded as he pulled open the door. Before he could head down, a small group of bloodied men half walked, half carried each other up through to the main level. Jayne traded a worried look with Mal before he headed down the stairs to the sand floor of the pit. "Were my fault," he said angrily.
"What were?" Mal asked, one step behind. The crowd roared to life as Jayne stopped at the bottom and looked at River. She was crouched in the middle of the ring, one leg straight and to the side, all her weight on the other. One hand rested in the sand as she breathed deep and steady. It was a sight that made Jayne question the sanity of coming down here at all.
"What were your fault?" Mal asked again, shouting over the excited shouts of drunken men.
"This were. Got angry at her."
"I figure you had a right to get as you wanted. How's that make this your fault?" Mal asked as they separated and started edging closer to River.
"I knowed how to send her off, and instead of trying to keep her from sliding off into bug-crazy, I gave her a good shove," Jayne confessed to Mal. Then he turned his attention to River.
"River, I know you're mighty unhappy with me right now. I figure I ain't got the right to go telling you the things I done told you," Jayne tried to keep his voice soothing even if he did have to yell over the watching crowds, and she followed him with her eyes. This close, Jayne could see the purpling bruises and the way she gasped for air.
"She look about done in to you?" Mal asked.
"Looks about ready to fall over," Jayne agreed. "River, just come back to the hotel. Time to sleep, remember?" Jayne asked. Mal dived for her. Without looking away from Jayne, she caught him, spun him around and then managed to get up, perform a spinning kick to his back and then drop down into a crouch before Mal could retreat. He flew forward and plowed into the bloodied sand face first.
Jayne reached out and pulled on the man's arm. "You okay?" he yelled. He couldn't hear Mal's answer because the crowd's screams had doubled. Jayne could see River's eyes drifting closed and that weren't a good expression.
"That gorram hurt," Mal shouted again when the crowd started settling a little.
"Yeah, well she's pissed with you," Jayne admitted.
"You couldn't have told me that before?" Mal slowly stood and rubbed his back.
"You didn't ask."
"Next time, feel free to volunteer information of the sort that would keep me from an ass kicking," Mal suggested.
"Next time, don't assume I'm more likely to get an ass kicking from her than you are," Jayne growled back, and Mal just looked at him all confused. Turning his back, Jayne focused on River.
"Time to stop beating up on all the menfolk. Ain't going to be no one to run the ships tomorrow if you keep this up," Jayne said as he crept closer. He gorram hated doing this in front of all these people. He wondered if River'd let him stay and kick a few asses just to prove he could after she kicked his.
She looked at him, confused.
"You said you wouldn't never hurt me, remember?" Jayne pointed out as he inched closer, watching for that moment when something triggered her, but she just watched.
"That's right. You're ready for bed, now, aren't you?" he asked as he slowly reached up for her. His fingertips brushed her arm, and it was like watching an overloaded spring snap. She flew forward, grabbing his arm as she passed, and Jayne found himself yanked, her grip snapping him back so hard it felt like his shoulder was getting ripped out. The wall of the pit was nice enough to stop him. Course it stopped him so hard that all the air went out his lungs, but being trapped up against a wall with River holding him was getting to be familiar territory. His cock even gave an experimental stir.
"Not playing now, time for this to stop," Jayne growled over the roar of the crowd. She leaned in.
"Not playing. I want you. I want to make you happy, but every time I think I've find the right door, it's wrong. Too much wrong."
"Got a lot of gorram wrong in my brain, that ain't your doing," Jayne said, and then River was gone. He turned around to find Mal holding her around her waist with both arms. Her head was tilted to the side and the audience was screaming for blood. Whatever Mal was saying in her ear, it wasn't working. Jayne got three steps toward them before River had arched back, throwing Mal off balance so that he fell backwards. She rolled, coming around for the kick when Jayne got there. He put everything he had into his own kick that connected with her stomach.
She was light enough that she slid back and away from Mal before she could leap to her feet again.
"Might be I should sit this one out," Mal said. "I ain't helping you much, and another hit and you might be looking for a new captain."
Jayne gave the captain a push toward the stairs as he headed for River again. "Ain't foolin. Time to come home," Jayne told her. "You know how to find your way out of that darkness, so if you ain't coming, that's your choice."
She tilted her head, and Jayne braced for an attack two seconds before she tackled him, sending them both to the sand floor. Her fingers found his throat, and Jayne didn't even bother trying to pry them off. He used the last of his air and energy to buck up, throwing her over his head and to the sand. He was scrambling to get to his feet when she landed on his back, driving him to the sand again, this time face down. He could feel the sand getting into his nose and mouth.
"Darkness is so simple. Fight. Win. The darkness is easy to be in," she said, her thighs tightening around him when he struggled up to his hands and knees.
"Ain't where you want to be, thought," he pointed out. Surging to his feet, he flung himself backward toward the wall. Instead of crushing her like he'd planned, she somehow leapt out of the way so that Jayne just about knocked himself unconscious on the wall of the pit. He dropped to his knees, and she was there, her hands on his shoulders holding him down. He grabbed her wrists, but he didn't have the leverage to get her to let go.
"Sometimes I do," she said as she let her head tilt back, her eyes drift closed. She was letting all that anger and bloodlust from the crowd fill her.
"You gonna kill me then?" Jayne demanded harshly. "It's what they want. It's what the darkness wants."
River staggered back away from him as though hit, and the crowd screamed even louder. "The only thing they want more than seeing me dead is seeing you dead," Jayne yelled.
River shook her head, her hair whipping back and forth.
"Ain't you, the darkness ain't you," Jayne told her.
"Feels like it is. I make what I touch ugly and dark. Simon, you."
"Simon were ugly before you ever touched him," Jayne said as he inched closer again. River looked up sharply, and for the first time since coming into the pit, Jayne could see she was really looking at him. "And I were ugly long before you were born."
"You aren't. You aren't ugly," she said as she came close. She reached up to touch him, and he grabbed her arm, yanking her close. She pressed against him for a second and then spun away. "Not ugly," she repeated. Jayne laughed as they circled in the center of the pit.
"Were ugly since before you were even a gleam in your pappy's eye. Ain't the worst thing in the world. Rather be ugly than weak," Jayne said. "Rather be either of those than crazy," he added after a second. It might be cruel, but it was true. River stopped circling and stood there looking at him. "Time to come back," Jayne told her as he stood to face her.
"I did something bad," she said as she stepped close. The crowd quieted down some, confused. "I didn't even know I was doing something so bad. Can't go back."
"I ain't one to give out lectures on not doing bad. Got enough bad in my own past to account for."
"But when you're bad, there's supposed to be punishment and then it all goes away."
Jayne looked at River, and she blinked up at him with such a look of innocence that Jayne knew he'd got that wrong. "I ain't good at riddles," he said slowly.
"I shouldn't have said that in front of Mal. I was angry. He could have had you first and I was jealous and I wanted him to feel bad because he messed up."
"He… what?" Jayne asked.
"On Ariel, you laid down your strength for him. Wanted that. Wanted your strength. Wanted to know you wanted me, only you don't, so I wanted to hurt Mal." River looked almost pained.
"Guay, that what it was about?" Jayne asked. She nodded miserably as the crowd started to boo. "Should go," Jayne said. River shook her head. "Not the time for another of your crazy spells," Jayne said as the atmosphere in the pit started turning nasty. They wanted blood.
"Hurts more when there isn't punishment."
Jayne looked at River's sincere expression and glanced over to where Mal leaned against the wall watching. "I ain't doing this. I really ain't doing this here," Jayne said.
River slapped him. It wasn't even a conscious thought. Jayne pulled back his fist and punched River without even thinking twice. Her small body stumbled back and she fell on her ass in the sand. The crowd exploded, some cheering and others booing at the top of their lungs. After a second, Jayne walked over and held out a hand to her. She was touching her jaw. She smiled at him and took his hand so he could pull her up.
"We done?" Mal asked as he came over. He peered at River's jaw, pushing her hand away so he could see the swelling. The look he gave Jayne weren't exactly pleased.
"We're done," River agreed as they headed for the stairs.
Mal winced on every step before giving River a dark look. "Don't never hit me that hard again."
"You probably shouldn't fight me when I'm in a bad mood," she said, sounding downright sane.
"I'll keep that in mind. In fact, I'll make a memo. Next time you're in a bad mood, you're all Jayne's problem."
"I ain't signing on for babysitting the crazy girl," Jayne complained as they reached the pit master. The man had a pile of notes in hand.
Jayne couldn't remember anyone ever winnin' that much and he wondered just how many people River'd put a hurt on. Fact was it were her money because she'd thrown the fight more than he'd won it, but he wasn't getting into that discussion now. Throwin' a fight was just about a hanging offense in these parts and he couldn't never explain to any of them what exactly they'd been doing in the pit.
"Just need you to sign here," he said as he held out a contract toward Jayne. "Records say you're a slave. Your owner know you're down here?"
"Ask her," Jayne said as he poked a thumb in River's direction.
"Yep," she answered as she poked her sore jaw.
Thoughts Colored Ugly 10/?
River/Jayne
Rated: ADULT
Warnings: Dom/sub, slavery, angst.
Previous parts
An hour later, after the quickest bath in the history of the 'verse, Jayne stood outside the door to River's room, freshly washed with his new knife on his new belt holding up his new britches. Mal waited near the door to his own room.
"Ain't in need of a babysitter," Jayne growled at the man. He hadn't managed more than a dozen words to the captain since leaving the room, and half of them weren't polite. Part of him knew that Mal was struggling to say something supportive, but he was having trouble caring about that part.
"If you need something…" Mal let his words just sort of die when Jayne gave him a glare. Taking a deep breath, Jayne pushed open the door and looked around the room. River was sitting on the window seat, Zoe's book in her lap as she read. She looked up and smiled.
"Don't smell like a horse no more," she announced as he closed the door firmly behind him. Whatever humiliating thing were going to happen, he didn't need Mal watching. Were only so much a man's ego could take.
She tilted her head at him.
"What now?" Jayne asked as he glanced toward the bed. He couldn't see any chains, but the ring set into the wall above the bed wasn't all that subtle of a reminder that this was a slave world. He wondered whether all the rooms had that or if River had asked for it special.
"Time to sleep," she said, looking confused.
Jayne just stood and looked at her. Whatever was going to happen, he just wanted it to happen so he could quit worrying.
River frowned. "I'm not going to take what you don't give," she said softly as she put the book down next to her.
"Seems you been taking a lot more than I've been giving. Asking Mal if he'll cut off my balls and sayin' I'll sleep with you. I know I ain't got no legal right to complain, and I know I ain't smart enough to talk you outta saying or doing whatever you gorram want, so—" Jayne stopped. There wasn't a 'so' to follow that up. The first two were just truths, they didn't need to lead nowhere.
"Thoughts colored ugly," River said as she stood, and Jayne figured that was a pretty good description of it right now.
"Thought that's what you were wishing for, someone whose thoughts were colored about as ugly as the ones you already have floating around in that gorram crazy mind of yours. Well, you know what they say, if wishes were horses, beggars would eat mighty good on horse flesh."
"Your thoughts aren't ugly. Your thoughts are shiny only now they're all ugly. Chou ba guai." River started swaying, her eyes closed as she fell into whatever spell she was fixing on having. Jayne sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, watching her as he pulled his boots off.
"Ain't looking to send you spinning off into your dark place," he sighed. "But I'm not into this gorram game you're playing, so whatever you're going to do, just be done with it so I can catch some sleep. Unless I'm not allowed on the bed," Jayne said, and suddenly he almost hoped that would be the worst of it. After three weeks of a thin straw mattress in a cage, sleeping on the floor didn't seem like no hardship.
River stopped, her whole body just ceased like a wind-up doll that was out of spring. Jayne watched her suspiciously as he pulled off his second boot. Slowly her eyes came up to meet his. "Little mice feet," she whispered.
"Gorram crazy. I don't translate crazy," Jayne said as he pulled off his belt and curled it around his new knife and put it on the side table. His fingers seemed thick as he unbuttoned his shirt, but maybe these were just small buttons. He got the last ones free and pulled his shirt off. Undershirt and pants was about as undressed as he was getting unless she was going to order him to strip. Mann's farm hadn't ever looked as good as it did in his memory right now.
"So, I been good enough for you today or are you going to chain me up like a dog?" Jayne demanded as he held his wrists out. River was still watching him.
"All closed," she moaned.
"Ain't my problem," Jayne said as he slipped under the sheets and slid to the far side of the bed. Felt wrong, keeping his back to someone, especially someone as dangerous as River, but right now Jayne felt about as raw as he ever had. Captain thought he were some sort of victim over here being ravaged. Captain and doc were both going to have his balls when they figured out where River got her notions from, no matter what the captain said now. Even Kaylee would look at him with them tragic eyes of hers and stammer and try and tell him that everything would still be okay just because that's what she did. He just couldn't figure if Kaylee would be more upset about him corrupting River or River raping him. She might just explode from trying to calculate who deserved more pity.
Jayne took a deep breath and tried to not curse out the whole gorram 'verse.
"Colored so ugly," River muttered again, and Jayne felt the bed dip. He didn't answer. A hand rested on his shoulder, and Jayne tried to hold himself as stiff and still as he could. "I wouldn't ever hurt you," River said gently, her hand just resting on his arm.
"Ain't so fragile as that. I hurt plenty of people in my day, and if you want to do some of the hurting, I'm not in a position legally or morally to tell you not to, but this game stops," Jayne said to the wall. River didn't move behind him.
"Because of what I said to Mal," River said slowly, like she was putting piece of a puzzle together. Then Jayne turned to look at her.
"For someone who's so smart, sometimes you're about as dumb as I am," Jayne said as he looked at her confused face. "He's in there thinking I'm needing rescue like some gorram damsel in distress."
River cocked her head toward Mal's room.
"At the bathhouse, he were telling me how women couldn't blame themselves for getting raped, but he were looking at me. He were looking at me like I was one of them women in Kaylee's books who always need rescuing." Jayne pushed himself up so he was sitting in the bed.
"You want to take that whip to me?" he demanded. "You want to use those chains and whip me until I'm bleeding just because you think I look good in red? I won't make no complaint, but don't gorram make me out to be weak. Ain't weak," Jayne said, his jaw almost hurting from how long he'd clenched his teeth.
River blinked at him and slid backwards off the bed. Jayne watched her, but she just stood in the middle of the room.
"You going for the chains and whip?" he asked, keeping his voice as carefully neutral as he could. She shook her head.
"Then I'm going to sleep." He turned back over and lay down, but he knew he wouldn't get to sleep any time soon. The door opening and then closing softly didn't do anything to make him less furious. If she were over there comparing notes with Mal, he was going to strangle her in her sleep. Mind, she'd probably wake up and break his gorram neck, but at least then he could die with a little more dignity than Mal thinking he were some poor little waif who needed rescuing.
Time moved slow, the distant sounds of the town changing as the night brought out a different sort of folk. The Henrietta liked doing layovers here, the docks had plenty of rough play for deckhands looking to let off stream. Jayne played with the idea of going down there. He'd feel better if he got to knock a few heads together in a good old-fashioned fight.
About the only thing that kept him in the bed was the thought of River putting him in chains for wandering off. And the law would be on her side. Not even the captain could stop her from parading him around in a collar, his hands chained behind his back. Course right now, he'd rather be paraded around like that then give Mal one word asking for help.
Jayne fisted the sheets as he tried to keep himself from doing something gorram stupid. He hadn't been this angry since the night he'd left home. Still had a line of hard scar from where the switch had broken skin that night. The bastard never would have been able to do it if his gorram friends hadn't helped. That's why Jayne had listed Mal as next of kin. If he died, he still didn't want his gan ni niang stepfather getting Vera back. There were consequences for actions. He done humiliated Jayne in front of half the town. Discipline. Jayne snorted and then shifted over to his back, tucking his hands under his head.
"Losing it, Cobb," he whispered to himself. These thoughts weren't helping him any. The whine of a hover went past, and Jayne closed his eyes. He missed the sounds of Serenity, the noise of the engines that always rumbled under all the other sounds. Hull full of cattle or running empty the way Mal did half the time… didn't make no nevermind because Serenity always had that rumble to her. He'd gotten used to it.
A knock sounded at the door, and Jayne ignored it. If it were River, she didn't gorram need to knock, and if it were anyone else, Jayne had a right to gorram ignore 'em. Knock came and went again before Jayne heard voices out in the hall.
The third time, the pounding on the door didn't leave much room for ignoring it, and Jayne got out of bed and yanked the door open. Mal stood there in socks and trousers, a hotel employee standing beside him.
"Got trouble. Get your shoes," Mal ordered before he turned and headed for his room. The hotel employee started for the stairs, but Jayne reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him into the room.
"What's going on?" he demanded as he pulled his boots on.
"The pit sent a runner. There's a girl who left this as her address before she went into the fights."
"Why the pit send someone here?" Jayne asked pulling his shirt on as fast as he could. He'd been there once or twice and beating the shit out of some nameless opponent in some dirty bare knuckle fighting.
"She won't leave the ring. They're afraid she's going to kill someone. They sent to the magistrate, but he said they couldn't use no guns, but if she kills someone…" the man shrugged. "Were they really talking about that girl who's registered in here?" the man asked all disbelievingly. Jayne slipped on his belt and knife.
"Seen that girl go up against Reavers," Jayne said, and the man lost all color. "She ain't nothing to be fooling with." Jayne didn't finish the thought, but he certainly knew she were a good sight more dangerous right now. He'd gone and pushed her over. She'd gorram told him that dark thoughts sent right at her sent her off into her dark place, and he'd struck out with everything he had.
Ai-yah. Tyen-ah. He'd done a lot of things to be sorry for in his life, including trying to turn River and Simon in to the Alliance back on Ariel, but this ranked right up there. Were one thing to hit an opponent in a fair fight. Him trying to trick the Tams into Alliance custody felt almost fair what with both of them being so much smarter than him. Sending River off into her own mind when he knew she didn't have no control over it felt like stabbing a man in the back. And Jayne Cobb did his stabbing in a man's front.
When he hit the hall, the employee still looking shell-shocked and pale behind him, Mal was waiting at the top of the stairs.
"You think it's River?" Mal asked. Jayne gave the man a cold glare before he headed down the stairs.
"You know where you going or are we just flying off half-cocked?" Mal called.
"The pit. Bare-knuckle fighting for prize money," Jayne said as he hurried out into the night.
"Gos se. She'll kill 'em," Mal breathed.
"Yeah, and then the real trouble'll start," Jayne said as he broke into a trot. Mal ran at his side, and they ducked around drunken ship crew and townspeople out for some fun that would be illegal on any core planet. "Round there," Jayne pointed to a squat building near the docks. Men were wandering toward it, and Jayne had to dodge around a drunk who wasn't walking in a straight line.
He and Mal got to the front door at the same time, shoving others out of their way. "Spectating or fighting?" the bouncer asked, his finger on the trigger that would unlock the main door.
"Neither. You sent for us, because of the girl," Mal explained.
"Fighting. Jayne Cobb staying at the Garden Hotel," Jayne said as he slapped the money down. The bouncer checked him in, took his money and pressed the little button. He could hear Mal still arguing with the man as the door clicked shut again.
Inside, the air was dim with smoke, and the roar of the crowd louder than Jayne had ever heard. Damn near knocked him off his feet as he pushed his way through the line to the man who stood by the entrance to the pit itself.
The stands were packed, men standing shoulder to shoulder. On a normal night, men would sit and drink and bet on which of the competitor was about to end up bleeding in the dirt without all that much heat, but tonight's crowd felt more like a dog fight. Men screamed, looking for blood. And Jayne didn't have to look to know that all that was directed right down at River.
"I'm fighting her next," Jayne said. The pit might have sent for someone to get River under control, but they sure in guai weren't stopping the entertainment.
"Hey, we're set up next," complained a young man Jayne vaguely recognized. He was closely flanked by four others, all wearing the same crew insignia.
"You sending groups against her?" Jayne demanded.
"She wanted…" the man who ran the pit started to explain, but the young hothead cut him off.
"She took out three of our crew, but we're going to teach her a thing or two," he boasted. Jayne reached out and grabbed the kid by the shirt.
"You go in there, and your captain ain't going to have a crew tomorrow, so you just gave your spot in line to me," he said darkly. This close, he could smell the whiskey.
"No way. She's ours," he growled. Jayne cocked back his fist and hit the kid so hard that his eyes rolled back and he slumped to the ground.
"He gave his spot in line to me," Jayne snapped at the man with the list of fighters.
"To us," a voice came from behind Jayne. "Jayne Cobb and Malcolm Reynolds. We're on that list of yours," Mal said, pointing his finger at the datapad the man was holding. The pit man glanced down at the unconscious kid and then leaned up to look over into the ring. The crowd had grown quiet.
"You're up gentlemen," he said with a wave toward the door leading down into the pit. "You may want to rethink this. Two versus her isn't exactly a fair fight."
"And how many's she fought already?" Jayne demanded as he pulled open the door. Before he could head down, a small group of bloodied men half walked, half carried each other up through to the main level. Jayne traded a worried look with Mal before he headed down the stairs to the sand floor of the pit. "Were my fault," he said angrily.
"What were?" Mal asked, one step behind. The crowd roared to life as Jayne stopped at the bottom and looked at River. She was crouched in the middle of the ring, one leg straight and to the side, all her weight on the other. One hand rested in the sand as she breathed deep and steady. It was a sight that made Jayne question the sanity of coming down here at all.
"What were your fault?" Mal asked again, shouting over the excited shouts of drunken men.
"This were. Got angry at her."
"I figure you had a right to get as you wanted. How's that make this your fault?" Mal asked as they separated and started edging closer to River.
"I knowed how to send her off, and instead of trying to keep her from sliding off into bug-crazy, I gave her a good shove," Jayne confessed to Mal. Then he turned his attention to River.
"River, I know you're mighty unhappy with me right now. I figure I ain't got the right to go telling you the things I done told you," Jayne tried to keep his voice soothing even if he did have to yell over the watching crowds, and she followed him with her eyes. This close, Jayne could see the purpling bruises and the way she gasped for air.
"She look about done in to you?" Mal asked.
"Looks about ready to fall over," Jayne agreed. "River, just come back to the hotel. Time to sleep, remember?" Jayne asked. Mal dived for her. Without looking away from Jayne, she caught him, spun him around and then managed to get up, perform a spinning kick to his back and then drop down into a crouch before Mal could retreat. He flew forward and plowed into the bloodied sand face first.
Jayne reached out and pulled on the man's arm. "You okay?" he yelled. He couldn't hear Mal's answer because the crowd's screams had doubled. Jayne could see River's eyes drifting closed and that weren't a good expression.
"That gorram hurt," Mal shouted again when the crowd started settling a little.
"Yeah, well she's pissed with you," Jayne admitted.
"You couldn't have told me that before?" Mal slowly stood and rubbed his back.
"You didn't ask."
"Next time, feel free to volunteer information of the sort that would keep me from an ass kicking," Mal suggested.
"Next time, don't assume I'm more likely to get an ass kicking from her than you are," Jayne growled back, and Mal just looked at him all confused. Turning his back, Jayne focused on River.
"Time to stop beating up on all the menfolk. Ain't going to be no one to run the ships tomorrow if you keep this up," Jayne said as he crept closer. He gorram hated doing this in front of all these people. He wondered if River'd let him stay and kick a few asses just to prove he could after she kicked his.
She looked at him, confused.
"You said you wouldn't never hurt me, remember?" Jayne pointed out as he inched closer, watching for that moment when something triggered her, but she just watched.
"That's right. You're ready for bed, now, aren't you?" he asked as he slowly reached up for her. His fingertips brushed her arm, and it was like watching an overloaded spring snap. She flew forward, grabbing his arm as she passed, and Jayne found himself yanked, her grip snapping him back so hard it felt like his shoulder was getting ripped out. The wall of the pit was nice enough to stop him. Course it stopped him so hard that all the air went out his lungs, but being trapped up against a wall with River holding him was getting to be familiar territory. His cock even gave an experimental stir.
"Not playing now, time for this to stop," Jayne growled over the roar of the crowd. She leaned in.
"Not playing. I want you. I want to make you happy, but every time I think I've find the right door, it's wrong. Too much wrong."
"Got a lot of gorram wrong in my brain, that ain't your doing," Jayne said, and then River was gone. He turned around to find Mal holding her around her waist with both arms. Her head was tilted to the side and the audience was screaming for blood. Whatever Mal was saying in her ear, it wasn't working. Jayne got three steps toward them before River had arched back, throwing Mal off balance so that he fell backwards. She rolled, coming around for the kick when Jayne got there. He put everything he had into his own kick that connected with her stomach.
She was light enough that she slid back and away from Mal before she could leap to her feet again.
"Might be I should sit this one out," Mal said. "I ain't helping you much, and another hit and you might be looking for a new captain."
Jayne gave the captain a push toward the stairs as he headed for River again. "Ain't foolin. Time to come home," Jayne told her. "You know how to find your way out of that darkness, so if you ain't coming, that's your choice."
She tilted her head, and Jayne braced for an attack two seconds before she tackled him, sending them both to the sand floor. Her fingers found his throat, and Jayne didn't even bother trying to pry them off. He used the last of his air and energy to buck up, throwing her over his head and to the sand. He was scrambling to get to his feet when she landed on his back, driving him to the sand again, this time face down. He could feel the sand getting into his nose and mouth.
"Darkness is so simple. Fight. Win. The darkness is easy to be in," she said, her thighs tightening around him when he struggled up to his hands and knees.
"Ain't where you want to be, thought," he pointed out. Surging to his feet, he flung himself backward toward the wall. Instead of crushing her like he'd planned, she somehow leapt out of the way so that Jayne just about knocked himself unconscious on the wall of the pit. He dropped to his knees, and she was there, her hands on his shoulders holding him down. He grabbed her wrists, but he didn't have the leverage to get her to let go.
"Sometimes I do," she said as she let her head tilt back, her eyes drift closed. She was letting all that anger and bloodlust from the crowd fill her.
"You gonna kill me then?" Jayne demanded harshly. "It's what they want. It's what the darkness wants."
River staggered back away from him as though hit, and the crowd screamed even louder. "The only thing they want more than seeing me dead is seeing you dead," Jayne yelled.
River shook her head, her hair whipping back and forth.
"Ain't you, the darkness ain't you," Jayne told her.
"Feels like it is. I make what I touch ugly and dark. Simon, you."
"Simon were ugly before you ever touched him," Jayne said as he inched closer again. River looked up sharply, and for the first time since coming into the pit, Jayne could see she was really looking at him. "And I were ugly long before you were born."
"You aren't. You aren't ugly," she said as she came close. She reached up to touch him, and he grabbed her arm, yanking her close. She pressed against him for a second and then spun away. "Not ugly," she repeated. Jayne laughed as they circled in the center of the pit.
"Were ugly since before you were even a gleam in your pappy's eye. Ain't the worst thing in the world. Rather be ugly than weak," Jayne said. "Rather be either of those than crazy," he added after a second. It might be cruel, but it was true. River stopped circling and stood there looking at him. "Time to come back," Jayne told her as he stood to face her.
"I did something bad," she said as she stepped close. The crowd quieted down some, confused. "I didn't even know I was doing something so bad. Can't go back."
"I ain't one to give out lectures on not doing bad. Got enough bad in my own past to account for."
"But when you're bad, there's supposed to be punishment and then it all goes away."
Jayne looked at River, and she blinked up at him with such a look of innocence that Jayne knew he'd got that wrong. "I ain't good at riddles," he said slowly.
"I shouldn't have said that in front of Mal. I was angry. He could have had you first and I was jealous and I wanted him to feel bad because he messed up."
"He… what?" Jayne asked.
"On Ariel, you laid down your strength for him. Wanted that. Wanted your strength. Wanted to know you wanted me, only you don't, so I wanted to hurt Mal." River looked almost pained.
"Guay, that what it was about?" Jayne asked. She nodded miserably as the crowd started to boo. "Should go," Jayne said. River shook her head. "Not the time for another of your crazy spells," Jayne said as the atmosphere in the pit started turning nasty. They wanted blood.
"Hurts more when there isn't punishment."
Jayne looked at River's sincere expression and glanced over to where Mal leaned against the wall watching. "I ain't doing this. I really ain't doing this here," Jayne said.
River slapped him. It wasn't even a conscious thought. Jayne pulled back his fist and punched River without even thinking twice. Her small body stumbled back and she fell on her ass in the sand. The crowd exploded, some cheering and others booing at the top of their lungs. After a second, Jayne walked over and held out a hand to her. She was touching her jaw. She smiled at him and took his hand so he could pull her up.
"We done?" Mal asked as he came over. He peered at River's jaw, pushing her hand away so he could see the swelling. The look he gave Jayne weren't exactly pleased.
"We're done," River agreed as they headed for the stairs.
Mal winced on every step before giving River a dark look. "Don't never hit me that hard again."
"You probably shouldn't fight me when I'm in a bad mood," she said, sounding downright sane.
"I'll keep that in mind. In fact, I'll make a memo. Next time you're in a bad mood, you're all Jayne's problem."
"I ain't signing on for babysitting the crazy girl," Jayne complained as they reached the pit master. The man had a pile of notes in hand.
Jayne couldn't remember anyone ever winnin' that much and he wondered just how many people River'd put a hurt on. Fact was it were her money because she'd thrown the fight more than he'd won it, but he wasn't getting into that discussion now. Throwin' a fight was just about a hanging offense in these parts and he couldn't never explain to any of them what exactly they'd been doing in the pit.
"Just need you to sign here," he said as he held out a contract toward Jayne. "Records say you're a slave. Your owner know you're down here?"
"Ask her," Jayne said as he poked a thumb in River's direction.
"Yep," she answered as she poked her sore jaw.