I can feel the action and tension in the team. You give a great sense of personalities and conflict within the team.
That said, I always have issues telling characters apart (I have issues connecting a name with everything else; names are hollow to me until I spend enough time with them). For that reason this chapter is difficult because you introduce so many people (and throw around even more names). Since this is my personal issue I suggest you ignore it unless it suits your narrative needs.
I hope you write more because I'm hooked enough to re-read it multiple times to try to figure the individuals out.
no subject
I can feel the action and tension in the team. You give a great sense of personalities and conflict within the team.
That said, I always have issues telling characters apart (I have issues connecting a name with everything else; names are hollow to me until I spend enough time with them). For that reason this chapter is difficult because you introduce so many people (and throw around even more names). Since this is my personal issue I suggest you ignore it unless it suits your narrative needs.
I hope you write more because I'm hooked enough to re-read it multiple times to try to figure the individuals out.