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Aug. 4th, 2013 01:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lit_galDidn't I tell you to expect SPURTING??!! This is the SECOND chapter of the day, so get 'em in order folks.
Gray
After having her world destroyed by the Winchesters, Eve wanted to rebuild her family. She claimed a soul with his own dark power and his own moral gray. He would be her champion. Hopefully. Xander just wanted to go home, preferably before the hunters Sam and Dean Winchester caught up with him.
Chapter ONE :: Chapter TWO :: Chapter THREE :: Chapters 4+5 :: Chapter SIX :: Chapter SEVEN :: Chapter EIGHT :: Chapter NINE :: Chapter TEN :: Chapter ELEVEN : Chapter TWELVE :: Chapter THIRTEEN :: Chapter FOURTEEN :: Chapter FIFTEEN :: Chapter SIXTEEN :: Chapter Seventeen :: Chapter Eighteen :: Chapter Nineteen :: Chapter TWENTY :: Chapter TWENTY-ONE :: Chapter TWENTY-TWO : Chapter TWENTY-THREE :: Chapter TWENTY-FOUR :: Chapter TWENTY-FIVE :: Chapter Twenty-SIX :: Chapter Twenty-SEVEN :: Chapter Twenty-EIGHT :: Chapter Twenty-NINE :: Chapter Thirty :: Chapter THIRTY-ONE :: Chapter Thirty Two :: Chapter THIRTY-THREE :: Chapter THIRTY-FOUR :: Chapter THIRTY-FIVE ::
Chapter THIRTY-SIX -- Saturday
Chapter THIRTY-SEVEN -- Sunday Morning
Chapter THIRTY-EIGHT -- Sunday Afternoon
Benny is stepping up and having his say
Spike half carried him to the car, and left him leaning against it as he unlocked the stolen sedan. Closing his eyes, Xander took several deep breaths and felt the strength return. It was like he’d thrown a punch and needed to shake out his arm. “That was a power,” Xander said softly.
“I reckon it was.”
Xander opened his eyes to see Benny standing next to a blue van. Elizabeth was twenty feet or so back, watching warily. She was afraid Benny was about to get hurt, Xander realized.
Spike moved quickly to get between Xander and Benny. “You got a problem with that, mate?”
Benny held up his hands without moving. “None. You didn’t say nothing I haven’t said to him myself. Only sometimes Dean is about as stubborn as an old mule, and I ain’t about to drive him away with more truth than he can handle.”
Spike didn’t move. Every line in his body was prepared for battle, but Benny leaned into the van, making a show of looking casual.
“What are you?” he asked Xander.
“Not your business,” Spike snapped.
“I honestly don’t know,” Xander said at the same time. Spike glanced over his shoulder with one of those ‘Are you an idiot’ looks, and Xander could only shrug.
“You feed on human food mostly? Not on blood?” Benny asked.
“Time for you to move on,” Spike said with a shift in his posture that definitely meant danger.
Benny turned his focus to Spike. “Do you even feel the bloodlust anymore, are you so old that it’s a dry, withered need in your chest?”
“I feel it,” Spike said slowly. “I drink bagged.”
Xander frowned. That wasn’t technically true anymore. Ever since Spike had rescued him, he had definitely traded in bagged for Xander blood.
“All the time? You never hunger so much that your insides twist up?”
Spike raised his chin, but he didn’t answer.
“Do you feel the need to crew up with someone—to have a crew, a clan, a family? Does your kind of vampire feel that need?”
“Do you have a point?” Spike was sounding less and less amused.
“If it weren’t for Lizzy…” Benny got a haunted expression. “I wanted to go with that fils de pute that came hunting for me because it would mean not being alone, but I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t go back to hunting humans and then look Lizzy in the eye. I’m a bastard, but god a’mercy, I couldn’t do that.”
“I’m still not seeing a point,” Spike said. His voice was tight, and Xander thought back to all the times Spike had gone back to Angel, all the times he’d stuck with Buffy when any reasonable person would have run for the hills. Suddenly Xander suspected that the two types of vampires might have more in common than he thought.
“You said you’re learning your powers, that you made a child without meaning to. Are you an alpha?”
Xander stopped breathing, and suddenly Spike’s whole body shifted into something with sharper angles and more deadly intent.
“No fighting!” Elizabeth said as she trotted closer.
“Lizzy, stay back!” Benny cried out as he moved to get in front of her. For his trouble, he got punched in the arm and Lizzy still squirmed her way around him. However, she couldn’t get too far because Benny caught her around the waist and held her tight, and human strength was not going to break free from a vampire. Besides, she’d already made her point because Spike couldn’t attack without going through her, and he was already dropping back. Yep, Spike was not going to mess with anyone who reminded him of Joyce, and there was no way he could miss the similarities in personality if not in looks.
“Yes, I’m an alpha,” Xander said without giving Spike a chance to jump in and make things worse. “I was attacked with magic in my own world, and Eve used that power to turn me into an alpha… I don’t know. Alpha slayer works as well as anything.” Saying that felt oh so wrong, but it wasn’t like this world had any actual slayers to object.
Benny closed his eyes for a moment, and Xander got the impression he might be praying.
“If you’re looking for alpha blood, you’re in no shape to take on either of us, and hiding behind a woman’s skirt won’t help if you attack,” Spike warned.
Elizabeth frowned. “What’s an alpha, and why is everyone so tense about it?”
Since Spike and Benny weren’t exactly getting along, Xander decided he had to play nice if he wanted to keep this from getting uglier. “There’s a demon called Eve. She is one of the old ones who lived here long before people were ever born. She gives birth to monsters, and she made me herself, so I’m an alph or alpha, a first generation monster.”
“One of the most powerful monsters on earth short of Eve herself, who can’t come back to Earth because Dean poisoned her with Phoenix ash,” Benny added. “The stories say that alphas have powers that their descendants can’t dream of. I know that the vampires who were topside when the Armageddon came a’calling said that the alpha vampire reached right into their minds and called on them to rise up and kill humans. I figure I’m lucky I was out of commission at the time.”
Elizabeth looked up at Benny. “An alpha can do that?”
“That’s what they say,” Benny agreed. “And the alpha vampire ain’t fond of humans, which is why his descendants generally don’t make friends easily.” He looked down at her with such fondness that it was clear he made an exception for her. But then he’d clearly made an exception for Dean, too. Either the alpha vampire wasn’t pushing much human-hate right now or Benny was strong enough to ignore it.
“Take your pity party somewhere else,” Spike suggested coldly.
Benny straightened up, and pushed Elizabeth to one side. This time she allowed herself to be maneuvered so that Benny could step forward. “They say an alpha can turn another monster, providing that monster is far enough removed from his own alpha.”
“You want me to turn you?” Xander felt panic rise up and press against the bottom of his throat until he wanted to vomit.
“I know it puts me closer to an alpha, but there’s only so long I can hold out like this—no crew to jungle up with, no human blood, no hunting. It’s not in my nature, and I fight every day to hold onto this life. If it weren’t for Lizzy…” He turned and gave her a pained look before he turned back toward Xander. “If being your child means I can live with humans easier and not feed on ‘em, that’s a good trade.”
“Trade implies we get something,” Spike said. Spike was definitely looking for reasons to say ‘no,’ Xander realized.
“Sure enough,” Benny agreed. “I’m a good hunter, and if you’re looking for children to keep the other monsters at bay, I’m willing to sign up for that crew. I’m told I’m fairly loyal, at least until someone tells me I should kill folk who don’t deserve to be killed.”
Spike stepped forward and looked Benny up and down. “So, every person you ever killed deserved it?” Spike asked coldly.
Benny sighed. “No. I ain’t going to make that claim. But I fell in love, and now I see humans as more than food. I can’t… I can’t keep on smelling them and thinking on food. It’s more than a vampire can handle.”
Spike fell silent again.
“Benny, I don’t actually know what I’m doing. I could hurt you or kill you if I even try this.” Xander felt bad, he really did, but turning someone scared him more than he could explain.
“If you do kill me, I suppose that’d be a mercy. It’d save Dean from having to later.”
Elizabeth gasped.
Benny turned to look at her. “I can’t lie, Lizzy. I spend every day fighting against the need to feed. One day I’m going to be too weak to keep on a’fighting.” When Elizabeth took a step back, he hurried to add, “I wouldn’t never hurt you, cher. Not you or Dean or anyone I knew, but the folk who come walking through smell too much like food.”
“I feel that too,” Xander blurted out.
Benny turned around fast, clearly startled. “You feel the need to feed?” The anguish on Benny’s face made it pretty damn clear that he’d pinned a lot of hopes on this plan.
“I smell it around some monsters,” Xander said. “Leviathan smell like chocolate and I can’t resist, and trust me, Spike is less than amused when I go running off, but there’s no way I can stand still and have that smell pass by without trying to eat it.” Xander stopped. Shit. Was that what Spike and Benny felt when they smelled humans? Xander looked from one to the other, but both vampires had completely shuttered expression.
“But you don’t feel that with humans?” Benny asked carefully.
Xander shook his head.
“I’d rather you try than you leave me here to fight my nature.” Benny raised his chin.
“But I could kill you,” Xander explained, even though he was getting the idea that was not as much of a deterrent as it would have been for Xander.
“Then I land in purgatory,” Benny said without much emotion. “There’s no need to hunt there. And yeah, the others are likely to try and kill me, but a good fight ain’t a bad thing.” Benny gave a smile that looked a whole lot like Spike’s.
Xander opened his mouth, but Spike moved closer and put a hand on Xander’s arm. “He’s not telling you everything,” Spike said, and the smile vanished from Benny’s face.
“Oh?”
“Yeah, oh?” Xander echoed.
Spike gave him a weary look.
“No, honestly, I don’t know what I’m leaving out,” Xander said.
Spike shook his head and looked back at Benny. “He’s not the most dominant creature on earth. I suspect you’ll inherit that, too.”
For the first time, Benny looked concerned.
Spike looked over at Elizabeth. “Since you have her blood in you already, it could be that you’ll end up feeling a need to stay with her, to listen to her.” Spike gave Elizabeth a sharp look. “And you don’t know what it is to have a supernatural creature fixated on you.”
Benny took a quick step back. “I appreciate you telling me. Maybe this isn’t the wisest idea.”
“Wait.” Elizabeth stepped forward. “You’re not saying ‘no’ for me. So, what do you mean by fixated?” she asked Spike.
Long seconds passed as Spike tried to have a staring contest, but Xander didn’t have any doubt how it was ending. Sure enough, he folded like a handfan. “This one,” Spike said poking a thumb in Xander’s direction, “stays close all the time, and if I sent him away, I suspect he’d be back in no time.”
“Weirdly accurate,” Xander agreed as he thought about what life would be like away from Spike. He didn’t want that.
“Would I be in danger?” Elizabeth asked.
Xander would have given an immediate ‘no,’ but Spike seemed to think about it for a second.
“Cher, we’re not doing this,” Benny said firmly. However he couldn’t walk away without leaving her, and staying put made that statement seem a little less statementlike and a little more like pleading.
“If you order him to do something totally against his nature—to walk into a fire or let a leviathan walk past—there might be trouble,” Spike finally answered. “And if he’s Xander’s child, he’d going to have a lot more power than you can handle if he gets it in his head to pull against the leash.”
“But he wouldn’t try to turn me?”
“Lizzy! Never!” Benny said in an anguished voice.
“Xander never showed any interest in making me into someone I’m not,” Spike said. “I don’t think Benny would turn you, but that’s not something either of us could promise. If I were dying, I don’t doubt for a second that Xander would do anything to save me, even if that meant turning me.”
“But I’d be what Xander is, not a vampire?” she checked.
Benny moved to her side. “Lizzy, don’t be talking about this.”
“You want this for yourself. I have to decide if I want it for myself,” she said. He had grabbed her arm, and she rested her palm on the back of his hand. “I’m not rushing into this blind, but I’m not going to let you walk away from an opportunity because you think I can’t handle it.”
“I know you can handle it, cher. You handle everything, but you don’t want no part in this.” Benny looked over at them. “If we waited until her blood was out, would that mean I would turn to whoever was near enough?”
“Someone not me?” Elizabeth asked. “Are you trying to protect me or suggesting that I’m not good enough for you?”
“What? No. Lizzy, I would never say that.” Benny looked half panicked.
“Then you let me make up my own mind, Benny Lafitte.”
He opened his mouth, but maybe he’d seen that he was just prolonging the agony of defeat because he closed it without any more comments.
“Would Benny be open to anyone’s suggestions? I don’t want him to feel trapped.”
“Then definitely don’t use the bondage gear on him,” Xander muttered. Benny looked over sharply, but Elizabeth didn’t seem to have heard. Xander cleared his throat. “I don’t listen to just anyone. And yeah, I listen to Spike because he makes better judgment calls than I do, but trust me, I can still argue with him. I’m pretty famous for calling him an idiot when he does something idiotic.”
“Oi,” Spike protested, but he didn’t bother trying to defend himself.
“So, this would be between me and Benny?” Elizabeth asked. She got a thoughtful look on her face before turning to Benny. “I want to do it.”
“Cher…” he protested.
“You already said you wanted this, even if it meant dying. Would being tied to me be worse than dying?”
“Of course not,” Benny hurried to reassure her, his hand coming up to rest against the side of her neck. Xander wondered what it meant to a vampire that a woman who knew what he was would let him touch her there.
“Do you have any objections other than some worry that I can’t handle it?” Elizabeth’s stern look make it pretty clear she didn’t want to hear that argument.
“I never said you couldn’t handle it.”
“You implied it. Loudly,” she said. “And I can. You’re my friend, my family. If you’re in pain, then we find a way to fix it together.”
“But that don’t mean sharing the pain,” Benny said softly.
Elizabeth looked over at Spike. “Is this going to hurt me?”
“Don’t see how,” Spike said. Benny gave him the nastiest look to end all nasty looks.
“Then I’ll take a small risk to myself to save you from dying.”
“I’ve had my time in the sun, cher. If I die, it’s because it’s my time.”
“And if you back out of this now, I am going to make you the sorriest vampire on the face of the entire planet,” Elizabeth said with a hint of fury behind the words. “You came out here ready to do anything to try this, and we’re trying it.” She looked over at Xander. “Just don’t hurt him.”
Xander wondered when the others had started assuming he would do this if Benny and Elizabeth agreed. Even Spike had fallen silent, but listening to Benny’s speech about how people smelled good to eat, Xander couldn’t walk away without trying to help. He just worried that his attempts to help were often unhelpful. “I can promise that I’ll try to not hurt him, but I’m new at this. I could kill him.”
Elizabeth’s eyes grew shiny and she took several deep breaths as if she had to settle herself. “Try not to?” she asked.
“Lizzy.”
“You need to do this. I understand that, but I’m not going to be happy if you die on me,” she said. She grabbed his arm and held on tightly, and Xander looked away from the intimacy there. They were both hurting, and Xander hated that it all came down to whether he could fix things.
Spike’s arm came around his waist and pulled him close. “Do you want to try?” Spike asked, no judgment in his voice.
“When you smell humans, do you feel that way, like I do about demons and chocolate smell?”
Spike hesitated, and that told Xander what he needed to know. “It got better after the soul. I understood why I had to resist instead of just having a bit of technology that made me stop feeding,” Spike said. “And some kinds of animal blood scratches the itch more than other.”
Xander closed his eyes as he thought about all the times he’d teased Spike. “Yeah, I want to try and help,” Xander said.
He felt Spike’s hand under his chin, and he opened his eyes. “It’s been a right treat since I started snacking on you,” Spike said. “I don’t ever feel the bloodlust, and if I think I might start, I can just nip in and steal a little of yours.”
“Take as much of mine as you want, Spike,” Xander said firmly. “Honestly. I make lots.”
Spike smiled at him.
“How do we do this?” Benny asked.
“We don’t do it here,” Spike said firmly. “Do you want to go back to the café?”
Elizabeth shook her head. “I have a bit of land close enough to the swamps that most people avoid it. Every time it rains, I take a boat to work, but there’s a solid house built high up on a hill.”
“Then we go there,” Spike said.
Benny nodded, but he looked a little like a man going to his execution. Xander knew how he felt.
“I’ll draw you a map,” Elizabeth offered.
They were doing this. Xander watched at Elizabeth drew on the back of an envelope. Benny watched Xander, his eyes searching for something. Xander looked right back. Awkward.
GrayAfter having her world destroyed by the Winchesters, Eve wanted to rebuild her family. She claimed a soul with his own dark power and his own moral gray. He would be her champion. Hopefully. Xander just wanted to go home, preferably before the hunters Sam and Dean Winchester caught up with him.
Chapter ONE :: Chapter TWO :: Chapter THREE :: Chapters 4+5 :: Chapter SIX :: Chapter SEVEN :: Chapter EIGHT :: Chapter NINE :: Chapter TEN :: Chapter ELEVEN : Chapter TWELVE :: Chapter THIRTEEN :: Chapter FOURTEEN :: Chapter FIFTEEN :: Chapter SIXTEEN :: Chapter Seventeen :: Chapter Eighteen :: Chapter Nineteen :: Chapter TWENTY :: Chapter TWENTY-ONE :: Chapter TWENTY-TWO : Chapter TWENTY-THREE :: Chapter TWENTY-FOUR :: Chapter TWENTY-FIVE :: Chapter Twenty-SIX :: Chapter Twenty-SEVEN :: Chapter Twenty-EIGHT :: Chapter Twenty-NINE :: Chapter Thirty :: Chapter THIRTY-ONE :: Chapter Thirty Two :: Chapter THIRTY-THREE :: Chapter THIRTY-FOUR :: Chapter THIRTY-FIVE ::
Chapter THIRTY-SIX -- Saturday
Chapter THIRTY-SEVEN -- Sunday Morning
Chapter THIRTY-EIGHT -- Sunday Afternoon
Benny is stepping up and having his say
Spike half carried him to the car, and left him leaning against it as he unlocked the stolen sedan. Closing his eyes, Xander took several deep breaths and felt the strength return. It was like he’d thrown a punch and needed to shake out his arm. “That was a power,” Xander said softly.
“I reckon it was.”
Xander opened his eyes to see Benny standing next to a blue van. Elizabeth was twenty feet or so back, watching warily. She was afraid Benny was about to get hurt, Xander realized.
Spike moved quickly to get between Xander and Benny. “You got a problem with that, mate?”
Benny held up his hands without moving. “None. You didn’t say nothing I haven’t said to him myself. Only sometimes Dean is about as stubborn as an old mule, and I ain’t about to drive him away with more truth than he can handle.”
Spike didn’t move. Every line in his body was prepared for battle, but Benny leaned into the van, making a show of looking casual.
“What are you?” he asked Xander.
“Not your business,” Spike snapped.
“I honestly don’t know,” Xander said at the same time. Spike glanced over his shoulder with one of those ‘Are you an idiot’ looks, and Xander could only shrug.
“You feed on human food mostly? Not on blood?” Benny asked.
“Time for you to move on,” Spike said with a shift in his posture that definitely meant danger.
Benny turned his focus to Spike. “Do you even feel the bloodlust anymore, are you so old that it’s a dry, withered need in your chest?”
“I feel it,” Spike said slowly. “I drink bagged.”
Xander frowned. That wasn’t technically true anymore. Ever since Spike had rescued him, he had definitely traded in bagged for Xander blood.
“All the time? You never hunger so much that your insides twist up?”
Spike raised his chin, but he didn’t answer.
“Do you feel the need to crew up with someone—to have a crew, a clan, a family? Does your kind of vampire feel that need?”
“Do you have a point?” Spike was sounding less and less amused.
“If it weren’t for Lizzy…” Benny got a haunted expression. “I wanted to go with that fils de pute that came hunting for me because it would mean not being alone, but I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t go back to hunting humans and then look Lizzy in the eye. I’m a bastard, but god a’mercy, I couldn’t do that.”
“I’m still not seeing a point,” Spike said. His voice was tight, and Xander thought back to all the times Spike had gone back to Angel, all the times he’d stuck with Buffy when any reasonable person would have run for the hills. Suddenly Xander suspected that the two types of vampires might have more in common than he thought.
“You said you’re learning your powers, that you made a child without meaning to. Are you an alpha?”
Xander stopped breathing, and suddenly Spike’s whole body shifted into something with sharper angles and more deadly intent.
“No fighting!” Elizabeth said as she trotted closer.
“Lizzy, stay back!” Benny cried out as he moved to get in front of her. For his trouble, he got punched in the arm and Lizzy still squirmed her way around him. However, she couldn’t get too far because Benny caught her around the waist and held her tight, and human strength was not going to break free from a vampire. Besides, she’d already made her point because Spike couldn’t attack without going through her, and he was already dropping back. Yep, Spike was not going to mess with anyone who reminded him of Joyce, and there was no way he could miss the similarities in personality if not in looks.
“Yes, I’m an alpha,” Xander said without giving Spike a chance to jump in and make things worse. “I was attacked with magic in my own world, and Eve used that power to turn me into an alpha… I don’t know. Alpha slayer works as well as anything.” Saying that felt oh so wrong, but it wasn’t like this world had any actual slayers to object.
Benny closed his eyes for a moment, and Xander got the impression he might be praying.
“If you’re looking for alpha blood, you’re in no shape to take on either of us, and hiding behind a woman’s skirt won’t help if you attack,” Spike warned.
Elizabeth frowned. “What’s an alpha, and why is everyone so tense about it?”
Since Spike and Benny weren’t exactly getting along, Xander decided he had to play nice if he wanted to keep this from getting uglier. “There’s a demon called Eve. She is one of the old ones who lived here long before people were ever born. She gives birth to monsters, and she made me herself, so I’m an alph or alpha, a first generation monster.”
“One of the most powerful monsters on earth short of Eve herself, who can’t come back to Earth because Dean poisoned her with Phoenix ash,” Benny added. “The stories say that alphas have powers that their descendants can’t dream of. I know that the vampires who were topside when the Armageddon came a’calling said that the alpha vampire reached right into their minds and called on them to rise up and kill humans. I figure I’m lucky I was out of commission at the time.”
Elizabeth looked up at Benny. “An alpha can do that?”
“That’s what they say,” Benny agreed. “And the alpha vampire ain’t fond of humans, which is why his descendants generally don’t make friends easily.” He looked down at her with such fondness that it was clear he made an exception for her. But then he’d clearly made an exception for Dean, too. Either the alpha vampire wasn’t pushing much human-hate right now or Benny was strong enough to ignore it.
“Take your pity party somewhere else,” Spike suggested coldly.
Benny straightened up, and pushed Elizabeth to one side. This time she allowed herself to be maneuvered so that Benny could step forward. “They say an alpha can turn another monster, providing that monster is far enough removed from his own alpha.”
“You want me to turn you?” Xander felt panic rise up and press against the bottom of his throat until he wanted to vomit.
“I know it puts me closer to an alpha, but there’s only so long I can hold out like this—no crew to jungle up with, no human blood, no hunting. It’s not in my nature, and I fight every day to hold onto this life. If it weren’t for Lizzy…” He turned and gave her a pained look before he turned back toward Xander. “If being your child means I can live with humans easier and not feed on ‘em, that’s a good trade.”
“Trade implies we get something,” Spike said. Spike was definitely looking for reasons to say ‘no,’ Xander realized.
“Sure enough,” Benny agreed. “I’m a good hunter, and if you’re looking for children to keep the other monsters at bay, I’m willing to sign up for that crew. I’m told I’m fairly loyal, at least until someone tells me I should kill folk who don’t deserve to be killed.”
Spike stepped forward and looked Benny up and down. “So, every person you ever killed deserved it?” Spike asked coldly.
Benny sighed. “No. I ain’t going to make that claim. But I fell in love, and now I see humans as more than food. I can’t… I can’t keep on smelling them and thinking on food. It’s more than a vampire can handle.”
Spike fell silent again.
“Benny, I don’t actually know what I’m doing. I could hurt you or kill you if I even try this.” Xander felt bad, he really did, but turning someone scared him more than he could explain.
“If you do kill me, I suppose that’d be a mercy. It’d save Dean from having to later.”
Elizabeth gasped.
Benny turned to look at her. “I can’t lie, Lizzy. I spend every day fighting against the need to feed. One day I’m going to be too weak to keep on a’fighting.” When Elizabeth took a step back, he hurried to add, “I wouldn’t never hurt you, cher. Not you or Dean or anyone I knew, but the folk who come walking through smell too much like food.”
“I feel that too,” Xander blurted out.
Benny turned around fast, clearly startled. “You feel the need to feed?” The anguish on Benny’s face made it pretty damn clear that he’d pinned a lot of hopes on this plan.
“I smell it around some monsters,” Xander said. “Leviathan smell like chocolate and I can’t resist, and trust me, Spike is less than amused when I go running off, but there’s no way I can stand still and have that smell pass by without trying to eat it.” Xander stopped. Shit. Was that what Spike and Benny felt when they smelled humans? Xander looked from one to the other, but both vampires had completely shuttered expression.
“But you don’t feel that with humans?” Benny asked carefully.
Xander shook his head.
“I’d rather you try than you leave me here to fight my nature.” Benny raised his chin.
“But I could kill you,” Xander explained, even though he was getting the idea that was not as much of a deterrent as it would have been for Xander.
“Then I land in purgatory,” Benny said without much emotion. “There’s no need to hunt there. And yeah, the others are likely to try and kill me, but a good fight ain’t a bad thing.” Benny gave a smile that looked a whole lot like Spike’s.
Xander opened his mouth, but Spike moved closer and put a hand on Xander’s arm. “He’s not telling you everything,” Spike said, and the smile vanished from Benny’s face.
“Oh?”
“Yeah, oh?” Xander echoed.
Spike gave him a weary look.
“No, honestly, I don’t know what I’m leaving out,” Xander said.
Spike shook his head and looked back at Benny. “He’s not the most dominant creature on earth. I suspect you’ll inherit that, too.”
For the first time, Benny looked concerned.
Spike looked over at Elizabeth. “Since you have her blood in you already, it could be that you’ll end up feeling a need to stay with her, to listen to her.” Spike gave Elizabeth a sharp look. “And you don’t know what it is to have a supernatural creature fixated on you.”
Benny took a quick step back. “I appreciate you telling me. Maybe this isn’t the wisest idea.”
“Wait.” Elizabeth stepped forward. “You’re not saying ‘no’ for me. So, what do you mean by fixated?” she asked Spike.
Long seconds passed as Spike tried to have a staring contest, but Xander didn’t have any doubt how it was ending. Sure enough, he folded like a handfan. “This one,” Spike said poking a thumb in Xander’s direction, “stays close all the time, and if I sent him away, I suspect he’d be back in no time.”
“Weirdly accurate,” Xander agreed as he thought about what life would be like away from Spike. He didn’t want that.
“Would I be in danger?” Elizabeth asked.
Xander would have given an immediate ‘no,’ but Spike seemed to think about it for a second.
“Cher, we’re not doing this,” Benny said firmly. However he couldn’t walk away without leaving her, and staying put made that statement seem a little less statementlike and a little more like pleading.
“If you order him to do something totally against his nature—to walk into a fire or let a leviathan walk past—there might be trouble,” Spike finally answered. “And if he’s Xander’s child, he’d going to have a lot more power than you can handle if he gets it in his head to pull against the leash.”
“But he wouldn’t try to turn me?”
“Lizzy! Never!” Benny said in an anguished voice.
“Xander never showed any interest in making me into someone I’m not,” Spike said. “I don’t think Benny would turn you, but that’s not something either of us could promise. If I were dying, I don’t doubt for a second that Xander would do anything to save me, even if that meant turning me.”
“But I’d be what Xander is, not a vampire?” she checked.
Benny moved to her side. “Lizzy, don’t be talking about this.”
“You want this for yourself. I have to decide if I want it for myself,” she said. He had grabbed her arm, and she rested her palm on the back of his hand. “I’m not rushing into this blind, but I’m not going to let you walk away from an opportunity because you think I can’t handle it.”
“I know you can handle it, cher. You handle everything, but you don’t want no part in this.” Benny looked over at them. “If we waited until her blood was out, would that mean I would turn to whoever was near enough?”
“Someone not me?” Elizabeth asked. “Are you trying to protect me or suggesting that I’m not good enough for you?”
“What? No. Lizzy, I would never say that.” Benny looked half panicked.
“Then you let me make up my own mind, Benny Lafitte.”
He opened his mouth, but maybe he’d seen that he was just prolonging the agony of defeat because he closed it without any more comments.
“Would Benny be open to anyone’s suggestions? I don’t want him to feel trapped.”
“Then definitely don’t use the bondage gear on him,” Xander muttered. Benny looked over sharply, but Elizabeth didn’t seem to have heard. Xander cleared his throat. “I don’t listen to just anyone. And yeah, I listen to Spike because he makes better judgment calls than I do, but trust me, I can still argue with him. I’m pretty famous for calling him an idiot when he does something idiotic.”
“Oi,” Spike protested, but he didn’t bother trying to defend himself.
“So, this would be between me and Benny?” Elizabeth asked. She got a thoughtful look on her face before turning to Benny. “I want to do it.”
“Cher…” he protested.
“You already said you wanted this, even if it meant dying. Would being tied to me be worse than dying?”
“Of course not,” Benny hurried to reassure her, his hand coming up to rest against the side of her neck. Xander wondered what it meant to a vampire that a woman who knew what he was would let him touch her there.
“Do you have any objections other than some worry that I can’t handle it?” Elizabeth’s stern look make it pretty clear she didn’t want to hear that argument.
“I never said you couldn’t handle it.”
“You implied it. Loudly,” she said. “And I can. You’re my friend, my family. If you’re in pain, then we find a way to fix it together.”
“But that don’t mean sharing the pain,” Benny said softly.
Elizabeth looked over at Spike. “Is this going to hurt me?”
“Don’t see how,” Spike said. Benny gave him the nastiest look to end all nasty looks.
“Then I’ll take a small risk to myself to save you from dying.”
“I’ve had my time in the sun, cher. If I die, it’s because it’s my time.”
“And if you back out of this now, I am going to make you the sorriest vampire on the face of the entire planet,” Elizabeth said with a hint of fury behind the words. “You came out here ready to do anything to try this, and we’re trying it.” She looked over at Xander. “Just don’t hurt him.”
Xander wondered when the others had started assuming he would do this if Benny and Elizabeth agreed. Even Spike had fallen silent, but listening to Benny’s speech about how people smelled good to eat, Xander couldn’t walk away without trying to help. He just worried that his attempts to help were often unhelpful. “I can promise that I’ll try to not hurt him, but I’m new at this. I could kill him.”
Elizabeth’s eyes grew shiny and she took several deep breaths as if she had to settle herself. “Try not to?” she asked.
“Lizzy.”
“You need to do this. I understand that, but I’m not going to be happy if you die on me,” she said. She grabbed his arm and held on tightly, and Xander looked away from the intimacy there. They were both hurting, and Xander hated that it all came down to whether he could fix things.
Spike’s arm came around his waist and pulled him close. “Do you want to try?” Spike asked, no judgment in his voice.
“When you smell humans, do you feel that way, like I do about demons and chocolate smell?”
Spike hesitated, and that told Xander what he needed to know. “It got better after the soul. I understood why I had to resist instead of just having a bit of technology that made me stop feeding,” Spike said. “And some kinds of animal blood scratches the itch more than other.”
Xander closed his eyes as he thought about all the times he’d teased Spike. “Yeah, I want to try and help,” Xander said.
He felt Spike’s hand under his chin, and he opened his eyes. “It’s been a right treat since I started snacking on you,” Spike said. “I don’t ever feel the bloodlust, and if I think I might start, I can just nip in and steal a little of yours.”
“Take as much of mine as you want, Spike,” Xander said firmly. “Honestly. I make lots.”
Spike smiled at him.
“How do we do this?” Benny asked.
“We don’t do it here,” Spike said firmly. “Do you want to go back to the café?”
Elizabeth shook her head. “I have a bit of land close enough to the swamps that most people avoid it. Every time it rains, I take a boat to work, but there’s a solid house built high up on a hill.”
“Then we go there,” Spike said.
Benny nodded, but he looked a little like a man going to his execution. Xander knew how he felt.
“I’ll draw you a map,” Elizabeth offered.
They were doing this. Xander watched at Elizabeth drew on the back of an envelope. Benny watched Xander, his eyes searching for something. Xander looked right back. Awkward.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2013-08-04 08:21 pm (UTC)Shakatany
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Date: 2013-08-04 08:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-08-04 08:34 pm (UTC)As ever more when you can.
Shakatany
PS “Leviathan smell like chocolate and I can’t resist Leviathans
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Date: 2013-08-04 08:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-08-04 11:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-08-04 11:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-08-04 08:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-08-04 11:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-08-04 09:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-08-04 11:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-08-05 04:19 am (UTC)