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[lit_gal]

Wow... after a month off, I have two chapters in two days... and now I need to take a break because the shoulder is aching. However, Jayne and Mal do need to start settling into this new life of theirs.


Big Damn Dog

It's time for Shepherd Book to come clean about a few things... even if it's only in his own head.


Pairing: Mal/Jayne  (off-screen Inara/Nandi)
Rating: Adult


Previous chapters in reverse order: http://lit-gal.livejournal.com/tag/fic%3A%20firefly%3A%20big%20damn%20dog


Oh, and if you haven't read yesterday's chapter, it was all about Shepherd Book


Chapter 12


Jayne leaned against the wall of Mal's room and watched as the captain sat on his bunk and used a viewer to thumb through images that Jayne couldn't really see. From what he could tell, it was some sort of settlement. Mal hadn't really said much, but Jayne noticed that a number of his own things had somehow landed in Mal's quarters. His shirts were on the top of the dresser like they were waiting for someone to put them in a drawer, and Jayne’s favorite knife sat on the table. "I ain't one for subtle, Mal. Are you telling me you're moving me in here?" Jayne just came right out and asked.

Mal looked around the room, his gaze stopping at each of Jayne’s possessions. Jayne really didn’t understand what went on in Mal’s head, but Mal finally gave Jayne a wary look. "You objecting?" Immediately there was a defensiveness on his face.

Jayne shrugged his disinterest either way. He’d sleep where he was told. What he couldn’t figure is why Mal didn’t just tell him to move his stuff. Mal really was about the most obstinate man Jayne had ever met. Ever. And Jayne had met some mighty obstinate men. Hell, Jayne was an obstinate man, and he weren't even close to matching Mal. Instead of answering, Jayne threw himself down on the floor at Mal's feet. When all else failed, sitting at Mal's feet did tend to shut the man up.

Mal sighed. "If you ain't comfortable staying here, it ain't like I'm going to make you. I just thought..."

"I'd rather be here," Jayne answered with another shrug. "Seems like there's less chance of fucking up if neither one of us has too much time to do any thinking."

Mal laughed. "There is that."

Jayne leaned against Mal's leg and tried to get a better look at the viewer. Instead of getting uppity about Jayne pushing in, Mal tilted it so Jayne could see the screen. The data stream on the bottom labeled it as surveillance of Verbena. It was a middling planet, but Jayne had heard more than one story about the shady deals that went on in the alleys of Verbena. It was one of those places that had a darker underbelly than most people might think when they looked at the neat storefronts.

"I ain't feeling good about Shepherd Book wandering around this place alone."

Jayne thought about that for a second. The comment didn't make much sense to him since the preacher seemed better than most when it came to taking care of himself. "Do you think he'll take off, leave us holding the bag?"

That made Mal frown. "Why would you say that?"

"I can't think of any other reason for worrying about him."

Mal tossed the viewer down on the bed. "Does it occur to you that the preacher won't shoot people?"

"He's shot plenty of folks,” Jayne disagreed. “He's a real good shot, especially for a preacher.” Book never had aimed higher than the kneecaps, but he were a right good shot. He hit what he were aiming at more often than a preacher should. Fact was, Jayne figured Book’s aim was better than Mal’s when it came right down to it. However, Mal was still looking discomforted.

"He shoots knees, Jayne. A man who's shot in the knee can still shoot back."

Jayne scratched his cheek, not sure what to say on that. Mal was right, of course. Could be that the preacher wasn't safe going out on his own, but Jayne wasn't sure what he was supposed to be saying.

"I have to say, it's odd to see you at my feet, Jayne,” Mal said in a sudden change of topic.

"Why?"

It seemed like Mal had to really think about that for a second. "I guess it just seems like you should be fighting this more."

Jayne shook his head. "I ain't been fighting you for a long time, Mal. If sitting at your feet makes you remember that, I ain't got no problem doing it." Jayne watched as Mal's fingers twitched and moved an inch closer. "It ain't like I'm any less of a hwun dan sitting at your feet. If'n someone came at me, I could kill him just as easy from here as if I were standing up."

"I ain't ever questioned your destructive abilities." Reaching out, Mal rested a hand on Jayne's shoulder. "I'm just having to readjust to the idea that you ain't a free agent no more."

Jayne shifted a little. He could admit that there was a little part of him that wanted to shrug off Mal's hand. It felt odd letting a man touch him like that. While a lot of men had touched him--Jayne Cobb had never turned down sexing from any source--very few touched him without that being a prologue to the sexing. Mal, however, didn't seem in any mood for getting off. He simply left his hand resting on Jayne's shoulder as he seemed to focus on thinking.

"Feels like we should send someone to watch Book's back."

"Okay."

Mal sighed. "Most likely it's a dangerous job."

"You want I should go?" Jayne asked. Most times, he did take the dangerous jobs seeing as he was the best at making other people dead.

Instead of answering, Mal sighed again. The silence dragged on for long seconds, and Mal's thumb started tracing circles against Jayne's neck. It was odd having a man just touching for no good reason, but it felt good. With very little encouragement, Jayne's cock could get mighty interested.

"I should send you or Zoe. I get the feeling that Shepherd Book thinks I'd make things worse if I go myself."

"You are one to speak your mind," Jayne agreed.

"And you aren't?"

"Nope," Jayne agreed easily. "I'm one for shooting, but I generally don't talk a man's ear off." He shifted, and Mal's hand paused in its petting. Jayne had never put much stock in companions--he figured they were just fancy-pants whores, not that there was anything wrong with a good whore. But seeing how much more relaxed Mal was now that Nandi had explained how Jayne needed to act, Jayne was willing to admit that Nandi had been right on this one. Mal really did settle right down once Jayne set himself on the floor. As much as that didn't really make much sense to Jayne, he was happy enough to follow the rule without really understanding it.

"I don't like the thought of sending you."

Now that was confusing. "Why?"

Again, Mal fell silent. This was getting more and more awkward, and Jayne didn't understand any of it. "This ain't going to be a safe run. If Shepherd Book is right, these government folk are likely to be unfriendly." Mal almost sounded unsure about that.

"Most people are unfriendly. Guay. I'm an unfriendly sort, Mal," Jayne pointed out.

"No, you ain't. Not really. Not anymore." Mal exploded up off the bed, and Jayne was left sitting on the floor feeling completely confused. However, as long as Mal was worked up, he was staying on the floor. Nandi's rule was turning out to be a real handy one to know. And sure enough, Mal went to the wall and took out his temper punching the metal hull rather than lashing out at Jayne.

"What's wrong with you?" Jayne finally demanded.

"I don't want to go ordering you to do something that's likely to get you dead!"

"You've been ordering me to do stupid shit for years."

"But we weren't lovers then!" Mal wheeled around, his face etched with fury, and Jayne leaned back against the bunk and spent some time just thinking on that. Mal didn't want him hurt. More than that, Mal didn't want to order him into a dangerous situation. That might be real complimentary only Jayne was a gunhand. He couldn't exactly do his job if Mal got some bug up his ass about Jayne being in danger.

"I ain't a different person now," Jayne said slowly, wishing Nandi were around because Jayne wasn't real good at explaining things so that other people could understand.

"I'm feeling a whole lot different." Mal sounded weary. "How can I order you to do something dangerous and stupid when I know you ain't going to object? It's not like you're crew, Jayne. You're my lover--a lover that sits at my gorram feet."

Jayne scratched his chest. "I may be that, but I'm a killer, Mal. You knew that when you hired me. I ain't less of one because I'm rolling over for you."

Leaning back against the wall, Mal rubbed a hand over his face. "I ain't good at letting go, Jayne. I never have been."

Jayne's guts stirred at that declaration. There was something comforting in knowing that Mal wanted to hold on tight. Most times, Jayne's lovers were happier to get rid of him come the next day. "I ain't planning to leave, Mal."

"And if you go getting yourself killed by this government mess?"

"I won't." Jayne shrugged.

"You do see the world in sort of a simple way Jayne Cobb." Mal sounded a mite bit frustrated, but he came back to the bunk, sitting so that his leg was pressed against Jayne's shoulder.

"I always have," Jayne agreed. "So, you think the preacher needs some babysitting?"

"I think he knows these government types better than he's willing to admit, but I also think he's going to be too slow to defend himself if someone pulls a gun on him."

"Then I'll go with him and make sure I'm there to pull the trigger." The solution seemed real simple to Jayne. As simple as the solution seemed, Mal didn’t jump at it. He reached out and rested his hand on Jayne's shoulder. Waiting for some sort of explanation, Jayne sat and looked around the room. When had Mal found the time to move his things over? It wasn’t important enough to go asking after, but now that Jayne thought on it, that was a bit of a mystery.

"You ain't got permission to get killed, Cobb. You hear that?" Mal finally demanded.

Jayne smiled. "Got it. No getting killed on duty. That's an easy rule."

"I really wished I could believe that." Mal's voice was soft. "It seems like it might be harder than usual."

"Would it be better to pull up stakes and run for safety?"

Mal sighed. "If I could figure out a place we could run without the government finding us, sure. But the frontier is getting smaller, and this 'verse ain't really big enough for men like us, Jayne."

Jayne nodded. That made sense.

"So we hope that the preacher can get them off our tail."

"And I'll make sure he don't get dead before getting his chance to talk to them government folk." That was a nice clear mission, and Jayne did well with clear orders. Mal's thumb started making those little circles against Jayne's neck again, and Jayne just sat in the quiet and let Mal do his touching. It seemed like the man needed it to calm down. Jayne never would have guessed that Mal was a toucher... but then until recently, he never would have guessed that he'd enjoy it quite so much.

Comments

[spiceblueeyes.livejournal.com]

I really enjoy how you write Jayne's pov.

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. He is my favorite.

[texanfan.livejournal.com]

I completely understand Mal's hesitation. It's one thing to send a man into deadly danger when it's his choice, it's a completely different matter when he's handed all of his decision making over to you. What Mal doesn't understand is that, to Jayne, this isn't any different than it's been for quite some time. Mal will need to figure out how to be Jayne's lover and still let Jayne be Jayne.

such a complicated situation you've created and I love it. As much as I do love it, don't make your shoulder hurt to provide my fix! :)

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

Mal has sent his gunhand into danger, but now he's sending his lover into danger. I don't think Mal anticipated how hard that would be. Hell, if Jayne had shown one moment of hesitation, Mal wouldn't have sent him at all. I'm just glad you're enjoying how complicated this is.

[fearless5555.livejournal.com]

so wonderful to see you posting this again. I hope your injury has gotten better and that you can write pain-free.
I loved this scene with Jayne sitting on the floor in Mal's bunk and your writing of Jayne's inner thoughts is laugh out loud funny as well as kind of touching.
Thanks for getting out two chapters so quickly, you made my day!

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I feel like I've had such long breaks that no one can keep track of the story anymore.

The shoulder is doing some twinging, and it stiffens up if I type too long, but it's getting better.

[skeptic7.livejournal.com]

Great story. I quite understand Mal, he is afraid that he can't rely on Jayne's good judgement on what comprises a too dangerous situation. Is he scared that Jayne will no longer express an opinion?

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

I think he's afraid that Jayne won't object if he doesn't want to go. I also think he's discovering that sending a loved one into battle is not easy. Ever.

[zazreil.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the Thanksgiving treat! I love your stories - you are the only writer I read no matter what the pairing. This is sad, sweet and funny

Thanks again

Zaz

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

Awwww. Thank you so much! I do like these two as a couple, even if Jayne/River is still my preferred pairing in this fandom